EMO
SUCKS
ORIGINAL EMO
Emo Philips, spun comic with bizarre penchant for proto-
mod/indie fashion... origin unknown... guest spot on episode
of Miami Vice alongside Phil Collins in mid '80s. E = MO^2
record being the only audio token of era.
FIRST WAVE EMO
Rites Of Spring, Embrace, et al. DC. Lots of East Coast
kids in rock bands who drank soft drinks and made
sure punkers who threw shoes on stage during the
show got them back safe and sound. Sulking in a rock
context is therefore invented.
mo: Shitty hair, horrible posture, tapered black
Dickies hemmed north of the sock line, sour
faces and lamentations of "Why must the sun
shine in my world?" all add up to bad scene at
everyone's expense. And the music? Ever heard of
Fugazi? Those boys already gone and done all this
(see FIRST WAVE EMO), so unplug your out-of-tune
SG before you wind up with a smack habit. Oh for
Chrissakes we're only kidding! Hey, we like Ethan
and Jerry as much as the rest of y'all. Anyway, our
friends over at skatepunk.net wrote up this little
history guide to punk's latest earache for us, so read
up and then go collect some shells or something.
SECOND WAVE EMO
Nation of Ulysses, early Unrest. DC. Basically the kids that were fresh-
men in high school while the First Wavers were about to graduate.
Emphasis on tributes to soul figures, extreme protest methods, and jazz
record labels, while making music with no connection to any of the
above. Inside jokes about The Ice Cream Shoppe and other DC land-
marks encouraged. Set the stage for nep-indie-pseudo-soul bands that
all pretty much sound like that early Can record Can Delay 1968.
SCOTT
BOURNE
OLYMPEMO
Lync, Mukilteo Fairies. Northwest US.
Cigarettes. Lots of them. Calvin Johnson
screwed my girlfriend this week. Grrrrrr.
Jocks and lumberjacks suck. Satan destroy
them. "Oh yeah? I'll show you sulking."
SAN DIEGO SCREAMO
Antioch Arrow, Heroin, The Locust. Lots of
kids with greasy short black Romulan hair,
shiny black pants, white work shirts, and no
butts... very sick of having to drive two
hours north to see any good shows because
of no all ages clubs in the SD area. Anger
Anger. Handing out poetry with plagiarized
Cure and Public Image Limited lyrics at
shows a plus. Sets new record for speedy
breakup-recombine-and-regroup time
within a rock scene.
Been there, done that; the Godfather
gets EMOtional. lan MacKaye.
NOUVEAU SUBURBAN STRAIGHT EDGE EMO
Very new Crate half-stacks. A 16-year-old girlfriend sincerely
wearing brand new tie-dye Zep T-shirt. Very well-kept hair and
clothes; almost hardcore gangster in their appearance. But these
are sweet, sincere, clean-cut kids, just trying to break out of the
hypocrisy of American life, man. Baggy jeans, brand new
Sketchers... sound like Slayer.
PORTLAND EMO
Become an experimental film student,
or start a free jazz band, or just keep
doing temp work and getting stoned
with members of Crackerbash.
SANTA CRUZ EMO
7 y
Nuzzle. Lots and lots of beer, Fisticuffs Bluff et al.
"I've borrowed my parents' Beamer. Let's drive to
the Chevron in Salinas and have a corn dog."
EMO ACCORDING TO SPIN OR ROLLING STONE
Sunny Day Real Estate. Promise Ring, Jejune, Texas Is
The Reason, etc. Basically, alternative grunge rock but
the songs are slower and longer. Emphasis on REO
Speedwagon influences, fluorescent skate company
T-shirts, and pant pocket wallet chains. Gap ads.
142 THRASHER
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