Thrasher Magazine September 1989 — Page 19
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            1.3 Beactions of And Derivatives Inveling Carbonions
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Hurricane II (64 x 39mm)
VB3 (65 x 34mm)
Neutron (61 x 36mm)
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will readily vaporize as the
sults Polyurethane foams
VISION
INNOVA The Sor decoration of buildings and
may dadar hans so been found to be extremely flam-
BEAN THERE
Reg is hunched over the dining room table.
Mom's hot breath on the nape of his neck
and the heap of butter beans under his nose
have his head trapped like a fat squinting rat.
He has been staring at this same pile of grey-
green vegetable matter every few hours for
the past two days, ever since he refused to
eat the beans with Sunday dinner. Mom and
Dad have taken Reg's sensible decision (the
damn things are disgusting!) as some sort
of personal affront and turned him into a
political prisoner in his own home. No TV, no
skating, no phone, no breakfast lunch or
dinner, no nothing until he eats them.
Reg knows Mom and Dad aren't going to
back down on this one. He won't get any food
or freedom until he eats the beans, and
school starts tomorrow. Reg can see it now:
he'll be wandering around school in a mal-
nourished daze, begging snacks off friends.
He'll become a skinny shaky wreck who gets
picked up after school every day by his scowl-
ing mother. He knows he has to act fast.
Reg grips the fork, grits his teeth and stabs.
one of the beans. He inhales deeply through
his mouth and thrusts the amoeba shaped.
pasty lump into his mouth. Cork, lard, dirt,
feet, and leaves assault his taste buds.
Reg sits in the courtyard, staring at the
sandwich teetering in his hands. Mom's
special treat for eating the beans, it's over
five inches high and packed with half a dell's
worth of cold cuts. Beneath an cozing blanket
of mustard and mayonnaise rest multicolored
layers of turkey, salami, pastrami, roast beef
and corned beef in a pungent meat rainbow
Reg's stomach jerks towards his throat and
he turns away from the sandwich. Suddenly
the idea of swallowing preserved dead flesh
is utterly repulsive. Mom might as well have
packed a lump of gristle wrapped in dough.
Across the courtyard he sees Caleb Bulgar
staring grimly into a Tupperware container.
Reg walks over to Caleb. "Hey, what you
got for lunch, dude?" Caleb's face is grim
as he looks up at Reg. "Man, my hippie mom
packed me butter beans and rice. Can you
belleve it?"
Reg's stomach growls and he starts to grin.
"Sounds like you got a raw deal. Tell you
what, Caleb, I'll trade you this mutant sand-
wich for those butter beans. I like them cold."
A BUNCHA LUNCH
Whether you're a book cracker or a bread
winner, the mid-day repast is probably the
highlight of your daily slavery. But how much
peanut butter, baloney, and tuna salad can
one human ingest? Here are a few simple,
tasty alternatives to the doldrums of your
daily bread.
FUNKY COLD ME DINNAH
whatever you ate for dinner last night
Yes, that's right, leftovers. Far more exciting
and nutritious than a slab of mystery meat
in a bed of starch, yesterday's hot meal is
today's cool deal. Gnaw on some cold.
chicken or that steak you couldn't finish. Use
Tupperware to transport and ingest macaroni
and cheese, rice and beans, any kind of
cooked vegetables, spaghetti, stew, or even
salad. Cold take-out food (e.g. pizza, chow
mein, or a mega burrito roach) is always a
lot better after it has cured over night.
JEFF'S SCAB COLLECTION
1 big bag of M&M's
1 big can of greasy salty peanuts
1 big box of raisins
1 small can of cashews
Get a big lidded vessel and dump all the in-
gredients into it. Close the lid, tilt the vessel
upside down three times and...voila! Take
a fat bagful every day (you should have,
enough to last at least a week). (Recipe sub-
mitted by Deffy Jef of Minneapolis, MN).
DREAMBOAT'S CREAMBOATS
6 celery stalks
1 container Rondele herb cream cheese
Wash the celery stalks and fill their halfpipe
ditches with the cheese-so easy, so tasty.
Substitute fillings are peanut butter, regular
cream cheese, chopped liver or pate, pud-
ding, egg salad, and any other spreadable.
substance you enjoy. (Recipe submitted by
C. Elizabeth Carbine, Paris, France).