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SKATE
AND
DESTROY
or
Multiple Choices
(Something to offend everyone)
Story by LOWBOY
Palms
Orde
Shop
10327
H
Trash compactors. There never is
much of a reason. In the immortal words of
Olson, "If you lie, you get by." Welcome to
the legacy of the wonderful world of censor-
ship. Apparently, the recent activities of
Warlord MOFO have once again offended
the sensibilities of countless high school
librarians and insurance salesman fathers
across the land. In other words, all words
will be closely scrutinized from here on out.
Passages such as "the clues to the age old
riddles lie vomiting in the dark recesses of
liquor store parking lots late at night," will
never be read again. Stay the course. Try
and retain your sense of humor..
Steve Olson skates amidst the carnage of civilization.
The way I figure it, the great thing about
Amerika is everyone has the right to hate
everyone else. Freedom of expression pro-
mote divergent philosophies. I don't know
who really is offended if indeed offense is
even possible in modern society. But just to
clear the air, I'd like to publicly state that
San Diego indeed does suck, as does LA,
Frisco, San Jo, Phoenix, Cincinnati, Tulsa,
Mobile, NY, Stockholm, Berlin, Canberra,
Independence, MO., etc., etc. (fill in the
name of your town here)-get the picture?
This story's format is multiple choice, allow-
ing the reader to A) participate, B) non-
participate, C) discover deep secret mes-
sages, D) learn great mystic truths, E) be-
come easily bored. In short, by choosing
the "correct" answer, the offensively in-
clined reader can truly insult his own intelli-
gence. No points will be given.
Confused? Think how the THRASHER
staff felt when our fabled editor decreed
this assignment. The misintentions of this
piece were to attempt to convey the es-
sence of skateboarding to the mass
populace at large. Sounds like, (choose
one): A) an easy task, B) a total waste of
time, C) an invitation to a mass execution..
Well here goes: Mr., Mrs. and Ms. Middle
Amerika, here's exhibit "A."
Lester Kasais insanely high airs are quite dramatic for those who are smart
enough to witness them first hand.
Lester Kasal five feet over, courtesy of
the Five Fingered E. This is the truth in
skateboarding's subjective reality, 'cause if
you eliminate all of the intangibles like
fame, fortune, contest formats, dorkman
screaming off in the distance, the crowd,
the pay for play syndrome, etc., what you
come up with is major air. That's all that
matters, since like, it or not, make it or not,
Mr. Kasai is going for it. The impulse to
skate is the only impulse that matters.
Choose your own consequences. The
modern skater creates his own definition
whenever and wherever. Any and all ter-
rains are fair game.
Now a few words on law enforce
ment...Officers of the law are sometimes
called, A) pigs, B) Sir, C) The Man, D) in
times of emergency, E) only when you're
having fun. Rules exist, what you make of
them is your own business. If your mother
has sneaked in your room and is now read-
ing this, she's starting to get very nervous.
What's a mother to do, or a cop for that mo
"No mercy on Mercs!" Per Holknekt says as he continually
tests new environments for proposed skateability.
ther. For the record, I know mothers and
cops that skate. Also for the record, I know
many of both types that will never be al-
lowed to. See, we all have these rules.
Where the new expressionist skate type
runs into trouble is when our rules seem-
ingly contradict theirs. Conflict may de-
velop. In general, cops improve one's skat-
ing technique. They force you into carving
the right line at the right time. There's noth-
ing like putting down a good snap-back
grind over the curb edge and then pulling it
back up on the sidewalk right in front of a
patrol car. Such tactics, (choose one): A)
gain respect of the lawman, B) earn instant
citations, C), avoid trouble, D) create a
mutual understanding. Actually the law
types have been known to seek out actual
criminals to prosecute rather than skaters.
Enough said, we all know about the others.
In a culture stuck on cruise control, the
other skater chooses to operate in a forgot-
ten no-man's land. In fact, the skater
thrives on using the discarded, abandoned
and generally disregarded portions and
structures of the society at large. Skaters
create their own fun on the periphery of the
mass culture. Sewers, streets, malls,
curbs, and a million other concrete con-
structions have been put to new uses.
The petrol binging, mass consuming.
power transportation addicted society at
large clearly has trouble understanding
this. It tends to gain its insights from
(choose one): A) managed, packaged
media news, B) TV religion, C) spectator
sports, D) massage parlours. What does
any of this have to do with skating? Not,
much, because the actively involved skater
relies on his own feedback, for in the
streets the skater is the master of his own
destiny. What of skateparks? A park is the
response of society to fill a perceived need,
(usually economically inspired). The suc-
cessful park is generally the one most re-
sponsive to the skater's needs. Father
Bones, the young white bluesman cites
Ramosland in Florida as an example for
others to learn from. After going out of bus-
iness twice this park now thrives, with its
new management seemingly the reason
why.
Exhibit B. now consider the mass
media's version of skate reality, check out
"Wonder Wench," Erik Estrada, Farrah,
Trisha Nixon, Mr. Merlin, and the fabled.
R.C. Cola pizza woman all riding their
skates into mass media awareness. Or
hear the tempo change between the sixties
schlock of Jan and Dean's recorded tribute,
"Sidewalk Surfin-with its "bust your buns,
bust your buns, you can do the tricks the
surfers do" refrain (is it any wonder Jan
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