HEADS JERRY HSU
S.
O WHICH ARE YOU, CHINESE
or Japanese?
I'm Chinese. One hundred percent.
What's the matter with your back?
I have a gene that my dad gave me and
it makes you susceptible to really bad back
pains. It has a name.
What's it called?
It's called anklothing spondalitis. It's
like arthritis.
Geez Louise!
Yeah.
And it just now hit you?
Yeah, it hits you when you're like a...
young man.
Well, you're definitely that. How does
it affect you?
I just got through overcoming three
months of not skating.
LIFE AIN'T EASY FOR A BOY NAMED HSU
thousand hours on it.
When you're working on tricks out
there at the box, do you set the video
camera on the ground or on a chair?
On a tripod, with some T-shirts to hold
it up.
Would you be pro without the box?
No. I owe a lot to the box.
What do your grandparents know
about your personal life?
Not very much. It's a pretty sparse
relationship I have with them.
What are their names?
I have no idea. Grandma and Grandpa?
You don't know their first names?
No, they're not English names.
But you must have heard their names
mentioned around the house?
No, never.
have to keep them in sight when every-
one's at home.
Do you ever judge people by the
shoes they wear?
All the time.
Have you ever huffed gas out of the
tank of a three-wheeler?
No, but I know someone who has.
What about put an electric muscle
shocker on your nuts?
Same answer on that one.
Have you ever soiled a friend's
couch?
No. I soiled my parents' bed once,
though. I was having a dream where I
had to pee really badly, and I had got-
ten to the bathroom, but then I woke
up and I was in my parents' bed. I
was six.
Left to right: This is Jerry
Hsu. Duck squat. This is
Jerry Hsu on drugs. Any
questions? Nollie tailslide to
fakie on a ten-stair rail.
What did you do to pass the time?
I sat around a lot.
Have you seen those fingerboards?
They look like a good time.
No, I'm not really into those.
What kind of haircare do you nor-
mally employ? 'Cause that shit's
bouncin' and behavin'.
Well, I haven't washed it for about six years.
Do you have dandruff?
Yeah, lots of it. I like it. It's a lot of fun.
When did you build that box in
your driveway?
When I was twelve or thirteen.
Did your dad help you?
No, I built it all myself.
How many hours have you spent
sessioning the box?
Total?
Yes.
I've probably clocked about twelve
Can you speak Chinese?
Uh huh.
Fluently?
I wouldn't say fluently, but pretty much.
How do you say skate and destroy
in Chinese?
I can only say skate.
How's your first year of professional
skateboarding going?
I'm having a lot of fun.
What kind of music do you put on
when you know girls are going to be
coming over?
Slayer.
That's not true.
Reign in Blood.
Do you ever have girls over?
Yeah, sometimes.
Are you allowed to take them into
your room?
Only when my parents aren't home. I
What do you know about
Chuck Dinkins?
I've never heard of Chuck Dinkins.
What's your take on the Internet
explosion?
It's making me a lot of money.
If you had to spend the rest of your
life sharing a bunk bed with any
member of the Osiris team, who
would it be and why?
Dave Coyne.
Why?
We could have conversations in our
sleep. We both talk in our sleep, so we
could have conversations all night.
Who would get the top bunk?
Dave could get it.
Is it true that life ain't easy for a boy
named Hsu?
It's very true. I fall down a lot.
-Michael Burnett