HOW TO
QUIT SKATING
KOOK IS A KOOK IS A KOOK, BUT
some kooks are more kooked out
than others. We all know that the
skate scene is littered with kooks, and
most of us have learned to ignore and
avoid them and their word-farting
idiocracy that has somehow found a
niche in our humble hobby.
Dealing with these mutants is a skill that takes years
to learn and a lifetime to master. While the study is an
exercise in frustration, it can also be full of rewards. A
good T-dog technician can usually take advantage of a
kooky situation without even trying. Bitches, boards,
bong hits, whatever-once you figure out the mindset
of a kook, the rest is gravy.
There is, however, one unexplainable phenomenon
amongst this godforsaken breed of misfits, and the
mystery has baffled me for years. I'm talking about
skaters who wake up in a bad mood one morning and
decide to quit riding. Cold turkey. Forever.
I'm not talking about those fools who gradually slack
off and fade out until they've morphed into nothing
more than an occasional weekend warrior who rolls.
joints on his board more than he rides it. I'm talking
permaquit. Granted, there are a few places that it is
acceptable to permanently abstain from such pleas-
ures as new grip tape and expensive bearings, but
most of us don't go on extended vacations to hospi-
tals, jails, and graveyards. So why do people who have
skated for years suddenly just "hang it up"? The rea-
sons are downright pathetic.
First off, you've got the poor schmuck who turns
nineteen or twenty and is confronted with the bubble-
busting possibility that he's not quite good enough to
get sponsored, let alone turn pro and become a top-five
superstar. A good example of this kind of quitter was a
rebellious bastard from SF whose style and consistency.
damn well could have eventually led to a lengthy and
lucrative pro career. As a matter of fact, I'd say he was
probably as good as Mike Carroll back in the day.
Anyway, when the guy was denied a spot on the local
shop team, he got mad or depressed or something, and
then broke his jaw and quit skating, never to be seen
again. Needless to say, more than a few SF heads were
flabbergasted to see such talent get flushed.
Another good example is the loser who, simply put,
chooses hoes before bros. I once had a pussy-whipped
pal named Matt Cocks, or was it Matt Cox, who should
be the posterboy for spineless men. Check this out:
Top Ten Reasons
To Stop Skating
1. Become a "Movie Star"
2.
Get Broke
L
When the nurses at the emergency room know you
on a first-name basis, it might be time to listen to
your parents and take up hackey-sack.
Sometimes skating isn't enough to satisfy the deep creative
urges that drive some of us, and a more meaningful outlet, like
Hollywood, is just the thing to fill that niche.
3. Join The Business
Side Of The Industry
If you have the foresight to see your flame fading, a good
option is to foray into the exciting world of team manage-
ment, product sales, or if you're really ambitious, you
might try to start a clothing company.
4.
Hit The
Road To
Find Yourself
The pressure of shooting ads
and filming video parts can
get to be too much and leave
you with an empty feeling
inside. A switch nollie 5-0
can't always fill the void;
sometimes you have to hit the
road and find your soul
between the gaps of the high-
way's white lines.