UCK, I WAS WATCHING
F
the news this morning and
this fucking guy was flying
down Highway 101, a hundred
miles an hour, weaving in
between cars, with a laser point-
er and fucking with people, caus-
ing some five-car pileup. This big
pickup truck goes and mows
down a car and kills some kids.
Amazing how this works.
How crazy things are. So these
four kids decide they're going to
rob people because it's cool. So
they all pile into a Mustang 5.0
convertible, and they're down in
the Fisherman's Wharf area in
San Francisco, tooling around
looking for some victims. They
did a couple robberies; they
jump out of the 5.0 and show a
sawed-off shotgun to coax the
people out of their money or
their purse, or jewels and watch-
es and shit like that. They did it a
couple days in a row, so the cops
put a bunch of unmarked units
out there to try to find these
guys. One of these unmarked
units rolls up and sees these guys
in a car who fit the description of
the suspects from the robberies
the day before. So they
start following them.
These kids get the bright
idea that "since the cops
are behind us, let's take
off." So they start to go
Life's A Bitch And
By Dan White
kinda fast, zipping around trying
to lose the cops, but the cops
I have a fast car too. The kid in
the backseat stands up with the
sawed-off shotgun and blows a
fucking round into the front hood of
the unmarked cop car. But it doesn't
disable the car; it riddles the hood
and puts a bunch of pellets into the
windshield. They were using bird-
shot instead of buckshot, so
Ledge workers neede
Then you Die
it just kind of bounced off the car and
pissed them off.
Now the chase is really on. They're like,
"Shots fired! Officer needs help!" over the
radio. Every fucking unit in the City is
responding to the area, so they're flying all
Flagstaff Clover Bowl
good luck
over and they've got like ten police
cars chasing them, flying down 3rd
Street coming towards Hunter's
Point. They almost lose control,
cross over the median, and pop a
left front tire. They thought they
had them cornered, but they
slipped through and crashed into
another cop car and sped away
again. So they're flying down 3rd
Street only on three tires. I'm on
3rd and Evans, and I could see
them coming, and there's this
stream of sparks flying in the air
from the rim. He's going at least a
hundred miles a fuckin' hour, and
Iwe got this cheap-ass little road-
block; I stopped a guy on 3rd
Street who was driving a diesel
truck with a trailer on the back,
and I told him to park it in the mid-
dle of the
street so ee
when this
5.0
was
regains control. Then he's fly-
ing again about 60-70 miles an
hour, and he decides he's
going to make a right-hand
turn now. He can't even pull it.
Crashes kitty-corner into a
fucking building. Stuffs his 5.0
right into a wall. One of the
dudes in the backseat gets
tossed up in the air and just
splats on the wall like a fly.
Then he stands up and takes
off running. Another guy in
the backseat decides he's
gonna stand up with the shotgun in his
hand, and all these cops are zooming in,
like ten police cars. One of the cops
starts shooting, which causes this huge
chain reaction. Cops were screeching up,
rolling out of their cars, and once they
hear the shots they duck or
whatever. And this stupid
cop forgets to put his car
"Shots Fired!
coming down he
I was going to run
right into this
Heaven is just a plane crash away
on this fucking car. It was the craziest sounding
thing, like Vietnam; I was just standing there, and
some dude starts hauling off rounds right next to
my ear. The crossfire was insane-I'm surprised
no cops are dead. It was the stupidest thing to do,
to start shooting at a bunch of kids who just
crashed into a wall. All these cops are shooting.
and one of the cops is yelling, "CEASE FIRE!
CEASE FIRE!" trying to get everyone to stop. It's
unbelievable. Everyone stops shooting, and we
99 approach the car, and the kid is in the backseat,
going, "I give! I give!" He got shot like twice. The
guy in the passenger seat got like fifteen or twen-
ty rounds put into him. The guy on the other side
never got hit, so they yanked those two dudes out
of the car, and the guy who's shot real bad is
pinched in the car. It took the jaws of life to cut
him out, but by that time he was DOA.
OFFICer needs help!"
thing. But the kid was pretty smart;
he pops over the island and hangs
a left. When he does that, he loses
control and almost fishtails it but
in park; he puts it in reverse instead, so
when he jumped out of the car it started
going backwards. It ran over a cop who
was kneeling down next to his door. It
by's frontside roll-in
pinched him between
the door of his own
car and the cop car
that was going back-
wards. It fucked this
cop up; pinched his
leg, just fucked him up.
Stupid ass.
Anyway, once you
hear the sound of gun-
fire, you think it's com-
ing from the car, or
someone's shooting at
you; you don't know
what's going on. So,
seriously, maybe thirty
cops start unloading
Then I'm looking at these cops and they're pick-
ing up their shell casings, like they don't want any-
one to know they shot their guns. Who knows
what the justification was. Did the kid swing the
shotgun towards the cops, or did he blow off a
round? They're figuring out what the fuck hap-
pened. There was no real major threat, but they
just started hauling off shooting, and once one
cop starts shooting, everybody starts shooting. It
was a major fiasco, major fuck-up. They were try-
ing to cover up their shit. Just "oops." It was defi-
nitely fucko. It gives you a little bit of a lesson in
life; maybe not even a lesson. More like who gives
a fuck? Because they don't. We don't. Life's a bitch
and then you die; that's why we get high, 'cause
you never know when you're gonna go.
House party
Tit job
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