Thrasher Magazine January 1999 — Page 44
Page Text

            and Japanese animation. They don't
make very many horror movies any-
more, so when a new one comes out I
try to check it out. I like Evil Dead I and
II, Puppet Master, and the Scream
movies are awesome. All the Nightmare
on Elm Street movies, Vampire Hunter,
Nightmare Before Christmas, Hellraiser I
and II, Bullet in the Head, fuckin' Hard
Boiled, and all the Faces and Traces of
Death movies.
Are you religious?
Ah, I like that question. Fuck no. I
think religion is totally stupid. How can
people live their lives according to a
book? They act like it's some sort of
it goes to a place where tons of feast-
ers will hunt for cans, and since they
need the cash, they'll go and recycle
the cans. So actually I'm creating jobs.
Which brings me to the other job that
I create. I litter a lot, so that also cre-
ates jobs, because anytime I throw a
candy wrapper out of my car window
someone else probably will get paid to
pick it up. Plus I love throwin' shit out
of my car; littering is great!
Do you still live at home?
No, I just moved out of my mom's
house, finally. My mom is awesome; she
has helped me out a lot. But yeah, I got.
this house and I don't even have time to
ment. It's all complete bullshit. Those
assholes take so much money from me.
I hate them.
Do you read books?
No, I hate books. I like magazines,
especially Japanese ones, because I
can't read them. Why would I read a
book when I can play a video game,
watch a movie, or eat candy? To me
anything is better than reading a
book. I mean, come on. We all have
these awesome computers, crazy dig-
ital effects, video games, running
water, electricity, and you think I'm
gonna sit down and read a book? If
the story is so awesome they'll make
"I LOVE THROWIN SHIT OUT OF
MY CAR: LITTERING IS GREAT!"
rule book: don't fuck this way, it's bad.
Don't fuck before marriage. What the
fuck is that? It's total bullshit, that's
what it is. It's an insult to your intelli-
gence and a totally idiotic way to live.
A lot of those religious people out
there also think that movies, TV shows,
and video games are bad for kids. I say
fuck that. Kids should be allowed to
check out whatever they want. If I had
a kid he would be stoked because I
could kick his and all his friends' asses
at Street Fighter.
Do you recycle?
Recycle what? Aluminum cans? No,
I throw them in the trashcan. I also
throw away paper, plastic bags, and
anything else that's trash. Here's why:
when I throw away an aluminum can,
hang out there. All I've got in there is a
huge TV, a bed, my Apple Macintosh,
and my video games. It's damn good,
though. It kind of sucks because I have
to pay my own bills now. Writing checks
to all these companies for utilities and
shit sucks. I've got a $175 electric bill.
But it's pretty great because I can just
throw all my shit on the floor, leave
messes anywhere in the house, burn
shit and I don't have to worry about
someone getting mad at me. Plus I can
play my video games really loud now
with stereo surround sound. I can throw
the damn controller when I get pissed.
It's awesome.
Do you vote?
Not really. I'm not too into that shit-
politics, religion, recycling, environ-
a movie of it anyway.
Do you consider skate-
boarding an artform?
What the fuck? Yeah, that's
great. Skateboarding's an art-
form. That's so stupid.
Skateboarding is something
that's fun to do; that's it. Why
do all these shitheads out
there have to try and evaluate
it? Just leave it the fuck alone.
What
t are your future plans?
I have no idea. At least I
graduated high school, though, right?
You know, I haven't even used my
high school diploma once, for any-
thing. Whatever. I only graduated
because my mom made me. I used to
get horrible grades in high school.
High school was so lame; I don't know
how I made it all the way through that
shit. It sucked.
Any final words?
Buy tons of Nintendo products. Zelda
64 is coming out on November 24th.
Also, the Color Game Boy will be out
this year, and yes, it plays all of your old
games. Litter as much as possible;
remember, you're creating jobs. If you
have a van, drive it over bushes and
trées. Eat hamburgers and steaks.
-Interview by Nikos Consant
CUSTER
VIDEO
86 THRASHER
Opposite: When asked if this
saucy maid found Mr Klein to be
as naughty as President Clinton,
she replied, "Close, but no cigar."
This Page: Jeremy exposes a
shockingly tall 50-50 on top of
a bus shelter.