THE
These girls get me in
heat. Well, Jeanette (singer,
guitar) is in love with my
good friend Matt Phuzz and
CHUBBIES
the other girl, Kristeen (drummer,
singer) gets me horny 'n' stuff. I
became friends with the Chubbies
when I stayed at their house in Nebo,
IL for Thanksgiving (Matt invited
me). I didn't see them play until they
came out to Los Angeles on their
tour last winter. Before that, I didn't
know that two little girls could make
so much noise. I thought I was hear-
ing a 4 or 5 piece rock band; they
totally blew me away. They have a
ton of stuff out there in
in punk rock
So you didn't work today?
J: We got fired because we went
on tour.
Kristeen: We do domestic things
now; it's domestic Friday. Fuck
waitressing anyway.
If you were my waitress, I'd
pinch your ass as you walked
by my table. Has that ever
happened to you?
J: One guy grabbed my arm and
wouldn't let me leave, but I like that.
K: One bastard grabbed my face
K: I worked at Wet Seal dressing
up mannequins, but I got fired for
putting them in nasty positions.
Who were those two guys who
were cockblocking me at the
LA show?
J: Let me tell you, that one guy
who was hanging around Kristeen
has the biggest dick ever.
What? Kristeen?
K: It's huge, like a porno dick.
When I saw it my mouth dropped
ten feet.
record stores across the land. A lot of when my hands were filled with dish- So they were cockblocking me!
their
singles and at least one CD are
on Sympathy for the Record
Industry, and a new album is cur-
rently in the works. Anyway, I gave
them a call to try to get some phone
sex and here's how it went:
Spidget: What did you do today?
Jeanette: I made chili and Matt
ate too much of it so he's got bad
gas. We're trying to avoid him.
He's got poop dripping down the
back of his legs.
es and tried to kiss me.
Horny! What did you do?
K: I slapped him in his ears with
the dirty plates still in my hands. It
was pretty funny. Then I called him a
dirty bird.
Is waitressing the lamest job you
guys ever had?
J: I used to strip in a lez bar.
Was it one of those totally
nude places?
J: No, just topless. The lesbians are
much more polite than the men, let
me tell you.
I'd say so. The other guy was my
ex-boyfriend, so yeah, you were
being cockblocked.
Wait. Back to the dick. Bigger
than Tommy Lee?
K: Bigger.
What?
K: It was unbelievable!
are
So
your legs longer now?
K: You're gross.
You're the ones talking about
dicks. I'm just chillin'. Hey, do
you think I'm fat?
K: The more Spidget the better.
"ARE YOU CALLIN'
ME A HO?".
You're still thinking of that big
dick guy. Did you see any good
bands on the last tour?
J: This band ID in San Antonio and
um...Fatso in Albuquerque. They
were cool.
Kristeen, can I get some?
K: Are you callin' me a ho?
J: Do you mean ho as in hostess?
K: You can snack on my fruit
pie, Spidget.
If we were at a bar, what would
I buy you?
J: Tequila.
K:
:Merlot I wine, beer, or pot.
You
guys used to live near
Upland, CA. Did you ever hang
around Pipeline Skatepark?
J: Yeah, I knew the Albas. I went to
high school with them and stuff.
What was that like?
J: One of them used to wear a but-
ton that said "Sit on my face." They
were pretty funny guys.
Kristeen, when you guys move
back to the West Coast, will you
go on a date with me?
K: Sure. -Spidget
Moadonn
PRING
RTS
SAUKE
о
q린 2시15
met rising kizmet rising ki