regular clothes and she just attacked me. And then
she arrested me. She was library police. She had a
full-on mustache. And when she put on the hand-
cuffs she gave me this scar. She tried to have me
arrested or take me to jail or something, and I'm
just looking at my hands and going, "Look what you
to o me," and then she let me She said I was
lucky she was letting me go. Fuck her.
did
EE: Would you rather be in Florida right now?
Nah. It's more humid there. But I'd rather be
around my dogs. They're awesome. Pinto is a little
ston Terrier, just so full of life and character.
She's human almost. She likes licking things. Then
Charma just chills. She's six years old and is like a
ke a
mother figure to Pinto. She used to be hyper but
now Pinto gets all the attention. Then Chelsea the
cat is really old. Our cat Maggie got overdosed on
anesthetics when she was getting spayed and
MB: Have you entered regular pro contests?
Yeah.
MB: How'd you do.
Shitty. Terrible.
MB: How'd you go about getting sponsored?
I just skated every day.
MB: Look, Elissa. Do you hate this interview?
I just don't like talking about myself.
MB: Why not?
It's just a game, talking about yourself. Who wants
to talk about themselves?
MB: Yeah, but people want to know about
you. When did you first get sponsored?
About two years ago.
MB: By who?
Lance Mountain. He gave me boards first.
MB: How'd you meet Lance Mountain?
I didn't really meet him. I was just skating one day
"TOURS. MY LIFE
declawed right when we got her.
She got home from the vet and
stayed under the bed for a week,
all spaced out. She got better
THE
and better and she's pretty much a normal cat
now except sometimes she'll look one way and
then jump another, all off center. And you can't
pick her up, 'cause she has to have her feet on the
ground I at all times.
EE: What do you do besides skate?
Nothing. Sit on the couch.
EE: Watch movies.
Yeah.
EE: What are some of your favorite movies?
Fletch. The Big Lebowski is good. We watched that
last night.
EE: What's your favorite beverage?
Cola.
EE: What do you like about all-girl contests?
Cash.
and I lived in these ghetto apartments; actually they
weren't so ghetto, they were like these. But we lived
in these apartments and there was this field and
then an old folks home. And there was really tall
dry grass and we had this newspaper thing and
Sylvan lit on fire. Then we grabbed this can of
stuff that was next to it, I don't know what it was,
something flammable, and he sprayed it on the fire
and it just lit up. We ran, but that kid Daniel called
the fire department and told his mom and then his
mom told I my mom and then my mom yelled at me
to apologize.
and I had to
MB: To who?
The fire department.
MB: What was your house like growing up?
My mom and dad got divorced when I was seven.
MB: Were you rich or poor?
We definitely weren't rich. I guess we were poor.
LIFE OUTSIDE
JERK-OFF BOOTH."
at the Skatepark of Tampa and they had a demo.
And then after the demo they let everyone skate
and I was just skating. Then later on Matt Milligan
told me that he was talking to Ray Barbee and Ray
Barbee was amped on me or something like that. So
I called Lance Mountain, and at first he didn't know
what I was talking about. I wasn't calling to get
sponsored; I just wanted some free boards. Then I
started getting two boards a month for a while.
MB: Then what happened? When did you
come out to California?
I didn't come out to California until two weeks
before the premiere of Welcome to Hell.
MB: What was high school like?
It was all right. I passed.
MB: Have you really been smoking since age ten?
Yeah, probably. Maybe twelve
or thirteen.
MB: Were you a hessian as
a kid?
No. Well, I guess I could be.
What's a hessian?
MB: What kind of crazy shit did
you do as a kid?
People don't want to hear
about that.
MB: Hell yeah they do.
A
A criminal never admits his crimes.
MB: Have you ever had to
apologize to anybody?
Yeah.
MB: What was the situation?
Forest fire.
MB: What? How'd you start a
forest fire?
My friend Sylvan, this kid Daniel
It makes you appreciate things more. Like now that
I'm able to buy myself things, I appreciate it.
MB: Where did you live before HB?
We lived in downtown San Diego on
Albatross Street.
EE: Tell them a story about the Albatross.
Which one? There was a new story every night.
OK, I'll tell the Saturday night overdose story.
Remember that?
EE: Yeah, I remember.
The Albatross is a big old sketchy house convert-
ed into one-room studios. It was me and Scott
Copalman and Erik in this tiny one-room studio.
This one night this dude Koby was in the hallway by
sone nigh
the front door and then he ran into his apartment.
And then I I just walked in there and I heard, "Put
water on him! Get water on him!" And then I turned
around the other corner and there's like this green
dude, heroin overdose dude, just out of it.
EE: Like blue green.
Pale blue. He was near death-seeing the light or
whatever. They were freaking out. They were in
their boxer shorts and shit. And one dude had his
leg and one dude had his arms and he was just limp.
He was like mush. They brought him out and threw
him on
on the lawn and were slapping him and stuff.
Then the ambulance came and shot him with the
stuff and he woke up.
EE: He came back afterwards.
Oh shit! Then like an hour later he came back all
hyper and shit and was all, "Where's my shit?
Where's my shit? Looking for his heroin and stuff.
MB: What's the difference between skating in
California and Florida?
I skate more out here. In Florida I mostly just
kicked it.
PREVIOUS: KICKING DOWN DOORS
AND BREAKING BARRIERS WITH A
TOUGH-ASS KICKFLIP TO BACKSIDE
LIPSLIDE ON AN ORANGE COUNTY
BENCH TO BENCH.
LEFT: ELISSA SUCKS UP A KICK-
FLIP TO GUIDE IT OVER A PRE-
CARIOUS DOUBLE SET DURING A
TYPICAL FIVE-MINUTES-THEN-
YOU-GET-THE-BOOT SESSION IN
LOVELY SAN DIEGO.
MB: What made you decide to
turn pro?
I'm not a real pro. I'm budget.
EE: Bullshit.
I don't know. I was just talking to
Ed and I needed money so he gave
me a board.
MB: Do you do your own graphics?
No, my friends do them. My friend
Bob from Massachusetts did one. Ed
did one and Erik did my newest one.
MB: Are you happy with them?
Yeah. They're sick as fuck.
MB: Do you ever skate with any girls?
No.
MB: Have you ever?
Only at those all-girl contests.
MB: What's cool about Toy Machine?
Skating. It's Maldonado, Senn, Kerry, Brian,
Bam, Ed-everybody's cool. Fuck yeah. It's just
mellow. I like it.
MB: What do kids always ask at demos?
Can I have a board? Can I have your board? Can
I have some wheels? Can I have some stickers?
Where's Jamie Thomas?
MB:
Who
are your three favorite skaters?
Erik Ellington.
EE: Of
course.
Jerry H-S-U.
MB: Jerry Hsu?
Yeah. And Andrew Reynolds-pretty good,
that dude.
MB: What's your favorite skate video of
all times?
That's a tough one. We watch Love Child some-
times. I remember the first Plan B video,
Questionable, real well. But I don't remember the
others that well. I liked Not the New H-Street Video.
I don't really like old videos.
MB: What three CDs would you bring to a
deserted desert island with you?
Mark Waters gave me this tape on the last
Canada tour and it had like four Dinosaur Jr
albums on it. I like that one. So I'd want that and G
'n' R Lies and "Devil Went Down to
to Georgia."
MB: What's the most scared you've
ever been?
I've been scared lots of times. One time there
was this shoot-out at a club in Ybor City and
there was this skinhead party and a hip-hop
thing in the other room and they got in a fight
and fired shots through the club. I saw this guy
get shot and he fell down but then he got back
up and started running. Everyone was running
out all panicked and the skinheads ran over this
undercover cop.
MB: What were you doing?
I was just freaking out. I didn't want to be there.
MB: Have you ever dropped in on vert?
Of course I have. I want to skate vert more. I just
get scared after a while.
MB: Have you ever gotten any fan mail?
Yeah.
MB: What's it like?
I haven't gotten any in a long time.
MB: Do you ever write back?
No. I've gotten like nine or ten letters and I
never have.
MB: Who are they from?
Just kids from around the world. Some of
them are kind of sketchy, like love letters. They
send pictures.
MB: What's the sketchiest one you got?
Just this crazy, really bad poem.
MB: You'll hurt his feelings.
I know. Ed wanted to put it in an ad. In my ad.
I'm like, "Fuck, next time I go there this dude will
want to kill me."
MB: Who are your sponsors?
Toy Machine, Etnies, TSA and Landspeed.
MB: Why don't you try to cash in more being
the best girl skater?
That's crazy business right there. That's sketchy.
I mean, I want to get cash, but I don't want to do
a bunch of stupid shit.
MB: Good thinking. Do you have any broth-
ers or sisters?
Yeah. I've a sister, Rachel. She's 25 and
got
works at an insurance company in Seattle.
MB: Is she stoked on what you do?
Yeah.
ELISSA SLICES THROUGH THE
KINK, MINUTES BEFORE A
ONE-MORE-TIME SACKING.
MB: What about your mom?
Oh man, she's too stoked.
MB: What was it like when she came to Tum
Yeto the other day?
Oh, high jinks.
Do you have a boyfriend?
MB:
Yeah.
MB: How long have you been hanging out?
About four months or something.
MB: Does he skate?
Yeah.
MB: Do you ever skate together?
Yeah, but not too often. Maybe once or
twice, that's it. We don't even, really talk about
skating, except just like I would with any
other friend.
MB: What else should people know
about you?
Not much. I don't care if people know about me
or not. Sometimes I feel like I don't want people to
know anything about me.
MB: Do
Do you ever feel like you have to prove
anything to people because you're one of the
only girl pros?
I don't feel like I have to prove anything to
the public. I have to prove something
because I have a skateboard with my name.
on it, but I don't feel like I have to go jump
off buildings or slide twenty-stair rails. I just
do what feels good and if I get a photo or
something, I'm lucky.
MB: Would you like to thank anyone?
Just all my friends and family.
75