A
87
CORANACHION STONE WESTMINSTER ABBIE
My parents named me Tammie and boy did I
have troubles in school with a name like that.
All my friends and most of my family members
call me Tam. I'm 24 years old and what I enjoy
most in life is riding my skateboard and snow-
boarding even though last time I went snow-
boarding I almost killed myself. I went boarding
up in Tahoe with some of my friends and
slammed into a tree. I got knocked out
and probably would have froze t
death if a skier hadn't spotted me.
Good thing for my bright yellow
Bad Boy jacket.
My dad's name is James.
He was an only child, and
an only
his mother, my grandma,
was a tough lady so he
named me after her. It
doesn't bother me that
much, but you would
at least think he could
called me some-
thing like Jack, John,
Mike, or Mac and
saved Tammie for
my
middle name.
But no. Just
Tammie
Whiteside
with no middle
name. Today my
parents are going
out to Jackson
Hole, Wyoming for
a ski trip and I'm
gonna stay home
and suffer 'cause
I'm out of work
and according to
them I'm a bum.
But I'm no
fucking bum.
In my heart I
feel like a
feel
winner
when I'm
charging
down
a
steep hill
at full
speed, in
and out of
control and
dodging
trees. I know
I ain't no
HO
goddamn
bum. Excuse
me for taking the
Lord's name in vain. I just
get upset 'cause they can't see me for who I
Iam or for what I love..
They, my mom and dad, had planned this ski
trip months in advance and they gave me the
chance to join them if I got a job or showed
some sort of effort towards accomplishing some-
thing. Well, the only thing I accomplished was
dreaming of blazing down the Grand Tetons. I
started on trading and selling old skate and
snow stuff to get new gear for Jackson. I've got
brand new Burton boots and tons of other
things, but after the fourth week until depar-
ture and I still had no job, my dad canceled my
ticket. That was a big no-no in my book 'cause
now I'm pissed. I got all this new gear but I
ain't going nowhere. Ain't that a bitch? Well, the
next week, a week before they were leaving, I
placed an ad in the newspa-
per which said
there
would be
town. The next morning early at 7:00 AM I
opened the garage and started moving things.
out. Mostly the light things that I could carry
by myself, like my father's computer and my
mother's Persian rugs. I even laid out my snow-
board and my new Burton boots. "Everything's
got to go." One man came by in a pickup truck.
He asked if I had any dresser drawers for sale.
"Sure," I said. "They're inside the house. If
you'll
u'll give me a hand moving some of the heav-
ier stuff out I'll cut you a deal."
"OK," the man said. I emptied my parents'
things and moved a large majority of the furni-
ture out onto the front lawn and driveway. I
was excited. Most of the things were kept in
such
such good condition I was sure that I would
have no trouble selling them. The man that
helped me move most of the stuff ended up buy-
ing quite a lot. He bought my mom and dad's
king size bed, he bought the dresser drawers
from the guest room, he bought the microwave.
I asked if he had any kids that skated or snow-
boarded. He said no and then asked why.
"Cause I got some good shit for pretty cheap."
"Oh yeah, y
h, yeah."
I said, "Check it out." The guy was a pretty
funny guy. He stood on top of a blank deck and
took the position of getting tubed. After he was
gone a couple other customers came. It's funny
'cause I wasn't really interested in
making money, but by noon I
had already sold
more
than three thou-
WHEN
Yov
ARRISE
IN THE MOARNING
GIVE THANKS
FOR THE
sand dol-
lars
worth
of shit.
Not too much to
complain about,
although I would
MOARNING SUN rather have been
LIGHT FOR
YOUR
up in Wyoming
with Ma and Pa.
Well, Tam's mom
LIFE and dad had had a
AND YOUR
STRENGTH
a gigantic moving sale at 1303 Slant
Valley Dr. That's our home address. At first I
was nervous 'cause my dad reads the paper
from back to front. I planned it out perfect. See,
on Friday they would leave, and after they did
leave and were good and gone I would get busy
making signs which would notify any and all
people that would come across them that there
would be a gigantic moving sale. "Everything
must go" is what I put on the signs. On Friday
night after they left I put them up all over our
good flight and a good
night. It was now the
next morning early. His
mom was in the
kitchen
preparing
-AMERICAN IDEAN breakfast, his
POEM-
dad in the show-
er. After the shower his dad sat
at the kitchen table and began to drink his
coffee. While cooking the eggs, Tam's mom
looked over to Tam's dad. "I brought Friday's
paper for you to read. I saw it left on the lawn,
so I picked it up."
"Oh, thank you," Tam's dad said as he sipped
his coffee. "But this is vacation time. There's
nothing I need to read."
"Well, , if you feel like a read, it's on the barstool."
"OK"
"I'm really starting to worry about Tam,"
Tam's mom said.
"There's nothing to worry about," Tam's dad
said. "He's under a lot of pressure right now. He
has to realize soon that he's gonna need to
buckle down and join the work force. He can't
always play, and maybe us leaving him behind
on this trip will teach him a lesson." Tam's mom
listened to Tam's dad going on about how he
himself at Tam's
at Tam's age was confused a
was confused and unsure
of what he wanted to do in life. "It's just a phase
that every young man goes through. Soon he'll
realize that hobbies must be set aside."
be
Tam's mom interrupted. "I guess I wouldn't
so worried if he only had some kind of
idea of what he'd like to do or some kind of
work interests."
Tam's dad got up from the coffee table and
went to the barstool where
Friday's paper was. He
picked it up and opened it
to the classified section.
"There must be some kind
of job offering in here that
would suit Tam." He sat
back down at the table.
Tam's mom said, "That's
why I'm worried. He took
no effort looking despite
your telling him that the
trip was only possible pro-
vided he show interest in
finding a job."
Tam's dad took a drink of his coffee. "Of
course. The Livingstons are probably the ones
having the moving sale." His dad ate and sat,
but inside his gut feelings were contrary. He
knew that the Livingstons' home had not yet.
sold, so he still feared that maybe Tam was still
up to monkey b business. In fact, after breakfast
he was planning on calling Mr and Mrs Oswalt.
They lived across the street from them. He was
planning on calling them to see if everything
seemed to be OK at his home. Well, after break-
fast one thing led to another and he didn't end
up calling till mid afternoon from the slopes.
It was Mr Oswalt that answered when Tam's
dad inquired if everything seemed OK across
the street. Mr Oswalt said, "I was a few seconds
away from trying to contact you and your wife."
"Oh really?" Tam's dad said.
"Yes,"
OUR
You A
CATHOLICK
YES
BUT
Tam's dad checked the job NOT
ers.
offerings. He paused and
lowered the paper. "If only he
took an interest in comput-
Almost every job listed
here asks that you have com-
puter knowledge." The food
was just about ready. Tam's
dad began to put the paper
aside but before he did he
saw a bold headline that said,
"Gigantic moving sale." He
probably would I have thought
nothing of it had he
he not rec-
ognized his home address.
Tam's mom set the plates of
food down at the table. Tam's
dad read it over again, again,
and again. It was their
agam
address all right, only they
hadn't planned on having any
moving sale.
"Hey, sweetheart, right here in
"Mr Oswalt continued. "It seems
as though your son has gone mad.
He's been selling all of you and
your
wife's things." Tam's dad
was surprised, upset, and full of
rage. His first thought after hanging up
with Mr Oswalt was to take a plane flight home
immediately, but it hit him that he would not
get home soon enough. So he telephoned the
police and explained what was going on. The
police said they would send some officers over
at once.
When the offi-
cers arrived, Tam
A VERRY 600D
ONE
was in the middle
of selling a Belgian
waffle maker to a short fellow
that looked like Robin Williams. Before
ed. He ran
ran through
getting the cash, Tam saw the polic
police and bolt-
AT LEAST
γου
RECOGNIZE
YOUR
ed.
the front doors
locked them, and out,
the back. The two
policemen walked up to
the man which was left
standing with the waffle
maker in hand.
The police asked, "Which
way did he
go?"
"Is he
DENONNATCHION
the paper in the classified section it says we're
having a moving sale at our house today,
Saturday the 4th. Can you believe that?" Tam's
mom poured orange juice for the both of them.
"No, no," she said. "They must have made
an error." Tam's mom seated herself and
began to eat.
Tam's dad did not touch his food. His eyes
stayed focused on the paper. A worried look
came over his face. "You don't suppose Tam
would have a moving sale while we were
gone, do you?"
Tam's mom, without a second thought, contin-
ued to eat. "No, of course not," she said. "Tammie
wouldn't do a thing like that. They must have
made a mistake on the address. Besides, aren't
the Livingstons up the block moving?"
MOUNT SAINT HELENS ERUPT.
86 THRASHER
in the
garage?"
one of the cops demanded.
"No," the man said. "He went into the house
through the front door." A cop went up and
rang the doorbell while his partner looked
around at all the things scattered about. No
one answered the door.
They asked the short guy a
few questions like, "what
did the man that was sell-
ing the stuff look like?"
"Well," the man said. "He
had kinda long hair, he was
wearing a bright yellow t-
shirt, dark brown cords,
and seemed to be real
relaxed. That was, until you
guys showed up. Then he
just took off running."
The cops thanked the
man. The man said, "No.
problem. Is it OK if I keep the waffle maker?"
One of the cops asked, "Did you already
pay for it?"
"Yeah."
"Then it's yours." The two policemen got into
their cop car to search the neighborhood for
Tam. After they left, the short man snuck up to
the front door of Tam's house and dropped
oppe
twenty bucks into the mailbox. That was the
price that Tam had agreed on. The police made
their rounds until dark looking for a young man
with
à medium length hair wearing a yellow tee
and brown pants. They came up with nothing.
Tam was quick and good at hiding. By dark,
Tam was clear across town. He contemplated
returning home put the rest of the stuff that
he didn't get a chance to sell back in the house,
but he thought it might be too risky. It started
to get cold out, and when he took off he hadn't
had time to think of grabbing a sweater. He
shoved his hands into his pockets for some
warmth. It was then that it hit him he was
loaded. He pulled out the fat wad of money.
Norma
Normally he wasn't used to having money.
Normally money hardly concerned him, but now
after his gigantic moving sale he was doing OK.
He decided to get himself a sweater. He was on
7th Ave and Broadway in downtown LA. He
walked into a large department store and asked
riment store
a lady where the men's clothes were.
"Downstairs." On his y downstairs he was
followed by a store narc, but he didn't notice.
He didn't notice things like that.
way
Now in the men's clothing section, he found a
sweater that looked warm and suited his style.
He took
took it
working was to a register. The lady that was
looking; she wore tons of
was good
makeup and had a friendly smile. "Is this going
to be it for you today, sir?"
"That's gonna be it," Tam said.
"Will it be cash or charge?"
"Cash," Tam said. "Would it be OK if I wear
it out?"
out!
"Sure. I'll clip the tags off for you. Make sure
to hold on to your receipt, OK?"
"OK," Tam said while paying for the new
sweater. He thanked the lady. It looked nice on
him. It was navy blue. The collar from the yel-
low shirt seemed to match well.
"You look nice," the lady told him.
"Thanks again," Tam said. He walked through
the department store and out the front doors.
When he got outside the wind was blowing. The
sound of the cars was loud. Their lights were
bright. It was a beautiful night-a perfect night
for a young man to start a new life.
-Mark Gonzales
H SALT
FISH
AND
CHIPS
GREEZY
OIL ONTOP OF OIL