'ven to those of us who know enough to realize that it doesn't
Ematter much in the grand
matter much in the grand womb-to-dust scope of things, it's
360° mute grab to Olympic gold on skis is a good place to start. Can
you think of any reason why this guy Johnny Mosely, or anyone on a
snowboard, rollerblades, skis, a wakeboard, a snakeboard, a sky
surfer, or whatever the fuck these sheepfucks are attaching themselves
to, would grab? The shit is strapped onto their feet. Why would any-
one with a brain waste time holding on to something that's not going
anywhere? Use your hands for something that has a purpose-maybe
to aim at yourself and pull the trigger while you're in the air; make
everyone's existence a little less painful.
Even more astounding is why all these monkeys uninvitedly, unnec-
essarily and continually try to imitate us, the skateboarders. They try
to do what we do in their equipment, which almost always turns out
unnatural and awkwardly stunted, because what skaters do evolved
on, and was specifically for, skateboards. It's like monkeys trying to
walk on two feet. They can do it but it's foreign to them. Their bod-
ies aren't designed for it, just as any "alternative" equipment can
Steve Claar
Mike Vallely
Karl Watson
68 THRASHER
C
Joe Pino