Warning: Material might not be suitable
for children. Adult advisory suggested.
"Welcome to Harvey's, sir. What can
we do for you today?"
Burger was nervous. "Well, sir,"-he
wanted to sound honorable "I'd like
to sell a gun." Burger gestured with
his left hand over to the left side of
the counter, the carpeted part where
he had set the Colt down. The man
looked over and saw the gun lying
there. The two walked over to that
end of the counter, Burger on the cus-
tomer's side, the man on the employ-
ee's side. When they got there the
man asked if it was his gun. Burger
took a second to think it over now
that his father was dead. "Yes, yes,"
Burger answered. "It belonged to my
father but it's mine now. It was his
favorite gun." Burger was proud so he
spoke up. "An old Colt Classic; didn't
they used to call them wheel guns?"
The man snubbed Burger and did not
answer. He just examining the
gun. The more he looked the more
uncomfortable Burger felt. The man
behind the counter set the gun down
after thoroughly examining it.
"I can't give you more than fifty
bucks for that gun, son.".
Burger thought maybe the man was
tripping. "Hold on," Burger said. His
voice became a little angry. "That's a
Colt original."
The man picked the gun up and, in
a voice that was trying to be warm,
said, "Son, this is a no-name gun.
Somebody just put that Colt emblem
on there."
Burger put his hand out to accept
the gun. The man gave it to him.
Burger looked closely at the Colt logo.
He picked at it with his finger. The
emblem came off. The man behind
the counter was nice to Burger. "They
must have stuck the Colt logo on
there with Super Glue and tried to
scuff it to look old like the gun. I'd say
your old man got had."
Burger's eyes were on fire. His mem-
ory suddenly was in order. Now he
was able to recall his dad purchasing
this gun from Don. That's why Don
denied selling it to his dad. That's why
he didn't want to buy it back, 'cause
he felt bad. He didn't want Burger to
sell it either 'cause he didn't want
Burger finding out that it wasn't al
classic. Son of a bitch. Burger was
mad. The man behind the counter
could tell. He kept trying to cool
Burger off. "It's still an all right pistol,
son. I mean it will shoot, it just isn't
worth what you thought it was."
was just thinking."
The man said, "Well, that's OK
with me, son. There's no law against
it. Just let me know if you need any
further help."
"OK," Burger said as the man
walked off to go and tend to another
customer. Burger spoke up, "Just a
sec, sir. Can I buy bullets for this gun?"
"Sure you can," the man told him.
Burger looked on the man's bib; it
said "Harvey's Guns and Ammo
Supply Shop." Then, like lightning,
it hit Burger.
"Do you guys make the bullets here?
mean, do you put the gunpowder
into the shells?" And before Burger
could finish, the man interrupted.
"Not all of the bullets sold here
are packed here. I think we carry
bullets for this gun that are packed
here. They're a good deal cheaper
too. Let me go and check." The man
was about to go and check but
before he could, Burger stopped
him. "Yes?" the man said.
Burger rested his right hand on the
fake Colt. "See, sir, my dad liked this
gun. It meant a lot to him."
"Yes," the man said. "I understand."
Burger continued. "He thought it
was an original six-shooter from the
old days. He used to tell me that some
outlaw might have robbed a stage-
coach with it." The man smiled
vaguely. "He told me he could sell it
for a lot of money, but that he loved
it too much."
The man kept listening to Burger
talk, waiting to see what it was he
was getting at. Then finally Burger
told the man that he just had his
father cremated and that he wanted
to sell the gun and fly to Hawaii to
spread his father's ashes over some
place beautiful.
The man said, "Well, that's under-
standable, son, but the gun just ain't
worth more than fifty bucks."
Burger said, "Oh, no, sir, I wasn't
asking for you to give me more than
what the gun's worth. I was getting
around to asking if it would be possi-
ble to have some of my father's ashes
placed inside the bullets so can
shoot pieces of him through his
favorite gun."
The man behind the counter
picked the fake Colt up and exam-
ined it again. "Well, even though it
ain't a real Colt, it ain't too bad a
gun. Let me check with Harvey and
see if he'll allow it."
fast, avoiding the other customers. cause much of a commotion? He
When he got to the car, he realized immediately thought of going to al
that he locked the keys in the trunk. bad part of town. Burger looked
He looked through the window and around and took notice that he was in
he could see his father's ashes in the a bad part of town. The liquor store's
back seat. He wasn't gonna wait for lights always draw your attention.
Triple A. Not now. He stepped back They drew Burger's attention. He
and kicked the back
pulled right
window out
into
on the
point for a Reese's Peanut Butter liquor to his other hand. He lifted the point was in front of him. Burger hit, where the bullet went in.
Cup?" the clerk said it sounding like gun right to the sky and fired. the brakes and the clerk missed.
Burger's
and
eyes
✓ bust your nose tickle your toes ④
passenger side. Some glass landed
on top of the box which was hold-
ing
A story by
Mark Gonzales
father's ashes. Burger brushed, Joe's Liquor Store and parked far from
it off and then eaned way over the entrance. He turned the car's
towards the driver's seat. He pulled on motor off and sat there looking at the
the trunk release and got his keys. two bags in the passenger seat. He
Now with his father's ashes in one opened one of them. It was the bag
hand and his keys in the other, he with the bullets. He took one out and
marched back into Harvey's.
looked at it closely. Burger's thoughts
Waiting for the bullets took awhile, were of his father; his dad would kill
so Burger looked around. He kept him if he knew what he was up to. His
imagining what Don's face would dad loved order and he liked the law.
look like when he pulled the pistol Burger loaded six bullets into the gun;
on him. Finally the bullets were fin- one bullet for each chamber. Burger
ished. Burger told the man behind was excited. He was gonna fire this
the counter thank you. The man gun after loading it. He got out of the
handed Burger the box of leftover
ash and told him to go pay the
cashier and then come back and he
would give the bullets and his gun
back in separate bags. Burger did
what the man told him. When every-
thing was finally finished, Burger was
walking out of Harvey's with two
bags in each hand and the box of
ashes beneath his right armpit. The
security guard gave Burger a nod and
held the door open for him. Burger
felt happy. "Thank you, sir." The
security guard waved him off.
When Burger got to the car he sat
the two bags on the floor and opened
the trunk. Burger placed the remains
of his father's ashes inside, then he
slammed the trunk. Burger was angry
but it was a happy anger. In just a
short while he was going to even up
the score with Don for selling his dad
a fake. Burger picked up the two
bags, one which contained the bullets
and the other which contained the
Burger sat there and watched the fake Colt. He opened the door on the
man walk up some stairs and into an driver's side and got in. Burger tossed
office that overlooked the entire the two bags onto the passenger seat.
Burger's mind was racing. The store. Burger saw the blinds flick. A When he did, then his attention was
thought of Don pulling a fast one different man from the one that was drawn to the broken window in the
over on his dad and now that his dad helping him looked out. Burger back seat. "Fuck," Burger said aloud.
was dead he was trying to pull it over assumed this was Harvey. He had
on Burger-well, the nerve of Don. glasses on; the tops were tinted. The
"Keep it in the family. It's an old gun. blinds closed and the man was gone.
Your dad would want you to have it." The door opened and the guy that
"No," Burger was thinking. "My was originally helping him came down
dad don't like me messing with guns.
My dad would want you to have it."
The man behind the counter was
watching Burger as he said nothing
but spoke inward to himself. Burger
realized that the man was being
polite by letting him have a moment
to himself. "Sorry, sir," Burger said. "I
the stairs. When he got to where
Burger was, he smiled. "Harvey says
it's OK. You got your father's ashes?"
Burger was surprised. He smiled.
"Yeah, they're in the car."
He was angry. The busted window had
nothing to do with Don, but somehow
Burger still managed to blame on
him. Burger's mind was playing tricks
with him. The car started with no
problem. He was driving but he felt
like he wasn't getting anywhere. In
Burger's mind he wanted to load the
bullets into the gun and give it a test
shot into the air. The sun was starting
The man behind the counter said, to come down. Burger's mind was rac-
"Well, go get 'em."
ing. Where could he load the gun and
Burger moved through the store get off one shot where it wouldn't
car and tucked the pistol away into his
pants. Burger's eyes moved about
quickly as if they were battery-operat-
ed. When Burger got to the entrance
of Joe's Liquor Store he lifted his eye-
brows at a drunk that was collecting
spare change, possibly a code way of
saying hello. The drunk's ship was
experiencing difficulties, so he just
shook his cup and the change rattled.
Burger entered Joe's without making
any donations. Ding dong. That sound
is to notify the employees that they
have a customer. Burger cruised the
aisles and was unable to find what he
needed. The store clerk was lurching
so far over the counter to see what
Burger was doing he might just as
well have stepped over and kept
watch from a comfortable position.
"What can I help you find?" the
clerk hollered over to Burger.
"Reese's Peanut Butter Cup," Burger
hollered back.
"Sure," the clerk said. "I keep
those behind the counter. Please
come over."
Burger started to walk over. The
clerk was no longer looking at Burger;
his eyes were down. He was getting
the peanut butter cup. Burger pulled
out his gun. When the guy behind the
counter lifted his head and saw
Burger standing there with a gun he
dropped the candy the counter.
Burger walked up slowly with the gun
still aimed at the clerk, and he picked
the candy up. Burger put the candy in
his pocket. The clerk could serise that
all Burger wanted was the candy. His
face, the clerk's that is, was puzzled.
Burger started to back out of the store
with the gun still on the clerk.
"So you're gonna rob me at gun-
yourtoes☹
Don's
Burger
past
Burger
"Burger," Don spoke softly but his
an absolute idiot 'cause in his mind, Burger's face lit up. He was happy. The Burger lifted the shitty six shooter voice was worthless. Burger fired
the clerk's that is, if he was gonna pull drunk near the entrance was smiling from his lap and let the guy have it another shot and now Don was quiet.
a gun on someone it would be for too. He saw Burger aim upward and right in the nose. Burger felt good The only sound that was familiar was
more than just a candy bar.
shoot. "Woowee!" the bum said. that he got him. He really couldn't the motor idling. Steadily Burger
Super charged, Burger smiled believe that he did.
peeked his head out the car window.
and said, "It's a fake but it Burger pulled out into the street He saw Don, dead, slumped up
fires good."
slowly so that he would against the car. Burger felt no
not make any remorse. He just opened the door
commotion. quickly and then shut it so Don's dead
While driving body would fall away from the car
out on the and onto the street. Burger looked
streets over to out the window again. He saw that
house Don's body was not far enough out, so
saw that when he tried to back away from
cops speeding Don's smashed car he would possibly
him. hit the corpse. Burger decided he
felt would not back up. He cranked his
remorse that wheels to the right and continued
poor clerk had smashing Don's car. The sound of
"Shore does," | no chance. His pride got the best of crunching metal brought a smile to
the drunk said. him. He simply was not gonna let Burger's face.
"How about a little someone get away with stealing a Finally he was out of there and driv-
bottle of booze and O candy bar off ing. Every time he hit a bump the
him at gunpoint. It doesn't happen. wheel would rub. After Burger felt he
Not in Joe's Liquor Store.
was in safe distance he stopped the
When Burger got to Don's he car and examined the side. It had
beeped the horn and then smashed paint from Don's car all over it. Burger
Burger started for the car. At first he into the side of Don's car. Don came knew he was in big trouble. He got
was taking his time but then he real- running out quickly. At first he was back into the car and headed to
ized that he had better put the move pissed but when he saw Burger he did- Mexico. The car's side lining kept
on. He was able to get inside the car n't know how to respond. knew scraping the road. This made Burger
pretty quickly. The motor started. The the circumstances that Burger was mad. He started to wonder if revenge
pistol was in his lap. He looked over to under and the only thing to say was really worth it. He stopped the car
the entrance of the store. The clerk was, "Hey, Burger, you OK?"
again and tore off some of the trim.
was there with a shotgun. Burger Burger looked restless, angry and Before he could get back into the car
reversed out of his spot and pulled blank. It was obvious he was not OK. and continue on, a squad car pulled
right to the door. The man was stand- Don didn't know what to say. up. Burger panicked and took cover
ing there like an idiot. He needed an Burger's eyes had depth to them behind the driver's door. He sat there.
indication to let him know it was OK that was unmeasurable. Don, out of until he heard the cops coming. They
to shoot. Burger smiled at the clerk. a need only to comfort himself, invit- had their flashlights out. Burger
This infuriated him. Burger looked to ed Burger in. Burger of course did screamed, "Hold it right there. Don't
the floor and saw that the clerk had not accept. Instead he lifted the come any further!"
recovered the stolen bottle of Bacardi. black pistol out from his lap. He The cops paused, looked at one
Burger was wasting time. As he began aimed it at Don. Don's hands imme- another, and then went back for the
The clerk said, "You're gonna shoot to move his car the clerk took aim. diately fast went up. "Hey now, 12 gauge.
me when I turn."
face looked evil. He held the gun a lit-, change?" The bum rattled his cup.
tle higher. "Yeah, what's wrong with Burger went over and gave him the
that?" Burger was now in a standstill Bacardi. The bum smiled. His teeth
position. The clerk's face went flush. looked ugly but his eyes looked pret-
ty. "That will do," the bum said.
"Nothing," the clerk said. His life
flashed before him. With his hands he
motioned for Burger to continue on
out, but now Burger was not going to
leave. The clerk felt like he was in real
danger. When Burger got back up to
the counter where he was face to face
with the clerk he tripped out on how
his face was contorting and his lips
began to curl. Burger grinned 'cause
he wasn't gonna shoot this guy and he
knew that but the clerk didn't. He was
terrified. When he spoke he stuttered.
"What-t-t-t ells-s-s do you want?"
Burger looked behind the clerk and
saw all the bottles of booze. "Let me
have a fifth of Bacardi. The one with
the pink cap."
Burger said, "I'm not gonna shoot
you. Don't go putting ideas into my
head." Burger waved the gun like
'come on dude, move it, I haven't got
all day'.
The clerk turned slowly while talking
to himself. "Please oh please oh
please God..."
Burger reached for the bottle
with his right hand. Once he had
it he backed out of Joe's Liquor
Store. The clerk stayed put.
When Burger got outside he
transferred the bottle of
man's
Burger," Don said. "You don't know
what you're doing."
Burger floored it. The clerk trailed
him. Burger was
watching to see The old wheel must have turned
when the because the first shot didn't fire. Don
firing took cover close up to the door where
Burger was. Burger tilted the gun out.
of the window and fired again. It hit
Don this time. Burger was sure it did.
He could hear Don rubbing himself
Working-class funeral procession with mutes, feather-tray, and six horses for the hearse. England, late nineteenth century.
Mix in the ash when the lead is wet.
62 THRASHER
63