ON
BOARD
AWFUL
TRUTH
Skateboarding
IS
A
Sickboarding is a crime especially evident in
the vondone done around the Gurdason
compus The cement sidewoks, skps and
barches one chipped of over windows thot
cost thousands of dators to replice
are etched with all sorts of
gran writings Trash
borres one overturned and
trash is specod throughout
the compus ter bottes and
cigarctic bath ore spewed of
over the parking lots. At a tere
when we cre working hard to
pass Mousare for hints to
nonce much needed repairs is the
school, we can not of ord the cost
of damage done by skakboards
what's more is that mong these skok
boarders are not can our studcets Thoy
are people who come from cll over because
Crime.
Suncerson is odvertised in seabeder
magazines as an ideal place for stoord-
ing On some weekends there could be will
owr 30 skateorders don
their doinage on our comput
We are asking for your hub in
detracting students from
using our school as their
aron your child says he
is coming 15 Gunderson to
skateboard on a wick
cd or olter school
please discourage
www/her you see o
forge group or skubores
around cur compus on wECHNIC
please call the pole
Thank you for your continued help in keeping
Gunderson a sok ond beoutdul corpus for el
states and coerunity to enjoy.
FUN BOX
What's the difference between Michael
Jackson and a plastic bag? One is plastic and
unsafe to children, the other you put groceries in.
Who makes more money, a hooker or a drug
dealer? A hooker because she can wash her crack
and sell it again.
-X-Force, Felton, CA
How did the Rollerblader get the dog to
stop humping his leg? He picked him up and
blew him.
Brian Vodzak, Bethel Park, PA
A guy is sitting at a bar and notices a jar of money.
"Bartender, what's that jar of money for?" he asks.
"You see that guy sitting at the end of the bar?
Well, if you can knock him out with one punch,
that money's yours." The man has a few drinks
and notices another jar of money. "Bartender.
what's that jar of money for?" "There's a pitbull
out back with a loose tooth, if you can pull it out,
the money's yours." After a few more drinks the
guy spots a third jar of money and asks, "What's
that jar for?" The bartender says, "There's a
blonde upstairs who has never had an orgasm.
Give her one and the money is yours." The guy.
then stands up, walks to the end of the bar, and
knocks the guy out with one punch. Then he walks
outside, comes back all bloody a few minutes later
and says, "alright, where's the blonde with the
loose tooth?"
-Sloppy Joe, Bumfuck, KS
POET'S
CORNER
Pot
Pot is a plant of extreme wonder,
It makes you feel good through rain
and thunder.
You put it in your bowl and set it on fire,
Take a big puff and feel a lot higher.
It'll make you feel great and happy, can't
you see?
So, why not come over and smoke a bowl
with me?
-Nate Bohman, TOK, AR
Skateboard Sutra
I. Daylight Recognition
The painted yellow virgin sits inviting
Me to venture into no man's land. Only to
Give all the loving abuse and destruction
Time will allow. One last time before the
Thought death squad approaches, telling
Me I'm immoral (for creativity) and
Destructive (for stewardship too much
Ignored). I hesitate, but give her a
Loving wink. Like a vampire, I hide
From the sunlight.
II. Moonlight Celebration
Night comes, making useless masks of
Apathy as the ignorant observers walk.
Over the yellow virgin, throwing out
Cigarettes on her and driving past
Without a moments thought. When all is
Gone, and slumber is visiting the
Clueless, I pay my respectful visit.
I approach, sweaty and anxious, fearing
Evidence of modern man's destruction
Will cause me to fall, giving me more
Scars to add to my collection. I clean my
Destiny, making sure she is as beautiful as
When I first saw her.
III. The Encounter
I cannot take it anymore! Pent up rage
And angst is at the boiling point! It is all
Released with the
KRACKRCKRCKAKACKRRCK-sparks of
Youth and experience light the
Microcosm beneath my skateboard
Brighter than the sun itself. I cannot
Be satisfied with once. I must pass over
My love, my world. Over and over and
Over until my energy, anger, angst, rage,
Anxiety, and tears are covering me as
Sweat and dirt from the parking lot
Where we first met.
IV. Serenity
I sit on my skateboard, looking at the
Clueless carloads passing by on their
Way: possibly to numb themselves to
the very reality I just experienced.
I adjust and take my skateboard,
My best friend (at times my only friend).
In my arms and let my fingers.
Pass over, caressing the the scars on the
Metal trucks, feeling the heat absorbed
From the parking lot. I feel an
Abstract connection with the modern
World that the modern man will never
Know. I arise and make my way home
To fall into peaceful slumber, satisfied.
-L Poage, Portsmouth, OH
Skaters
Handrails, ledges, downhills, pools,
Vert ramp, hips, banks and schools,
Benches, stairs, mini-ramps, walls,
All of these require big balls.
Grind them, carve them, fly in the air.
Old school or new school. I really don't care.
Sk8 how you want, it really don't matter,
Templeton rips, Muska is radder.
Skaters are skaters, we're all the same,
You and I know, in-liners are lame.
Ryan Rinneard, Sudbury, ON, Canada
5 GREATS
1. Jamie Thomas
2. Chad Muska
3. Simon Woodstock
4. Caine Gayle
5. Andy McDonald
-Kevin Whelan,
Peabody, MA
5 HATES
1. Hang-ups
2. Wheelbite
3. Speed wobbles
4. Shinners
5. Broken boards
-Rob Litherland, TN
1. Mark Gonzales
2. Salman Agah
3. Jason Adams
4. Alan Petersen
5. Ron Whaley
-X-Force, Felton, CA
HIT LIST
1. Cops
2. Rollerblades
3. Frasier
4. ESPN
5. Slack-jawed yokels
-X-Force, Felton CA
FIRING LINE
Tom Sachs
DOB: 7/26/66
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 130
Nationality: American
First Skateboard: Super Chief, blue plastic. But
I wanted a Makaha, orange plastic with kicktail.
Favorite Weapon (store bought): HK-MP 5
Favorite Weapon (to make): 12-gauge shotgun,
or a spear.
Influences: NASA, Alexander Caulder, Hello
Kitty, Hermès, 3M, Louis Armstrong, and Stanley.
Fave color: Olive drab
Thought on art: Kill all artists.
Favorite Movie: The Seventh Seal.
Favorite food:
food: A lot.
Hates: My life
Books: Parfume
Books: Perfume, Air Guitar, Rules of the Bone.
Last trick learned (on skateboard): I'm still
working on the ollie, I haven't mastered it.
What's next. The
What's next: The bomb, and painting.
Dub.
Favorite Mucion
Shout outs: Shawn the boy, Aaron Rose and
Susan, Liz G, Walter Green, Flava Flav, Chuck D.
Joe, Guru, Mary and Mario, Mom and Dad,
Becky, John, Dangerous Derek, AK-47.
Favorite Mishap: Getting in a fight and swing-
ing my board, missing, and breaking my friend's
big toe.
-Mark Gonzales
Keenan
2
Jeron
Sheffey Wilson
Chico
Brenes
Richard Fabian Daniel Gabriel
Milton
Gavin
Alomar Loren
Castillo Rodriguez
818-700-2538
www.dvsshoecompany.com
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