TRASH
LAW LESS
Movie reviewers have declared Jason Lee
"the best part" of his latest film. Other cinema
critics dismissed pro rider Shane Dorian's
screen debut in the film "In God's Hand" by
stating "the plot line is something like profes-
sional surfboarder seeks to ride the same giant
wave that killed his brother."
IN MY ROOM
Being the nice guy that Pat Duffy is,
he doesn't have the heart to tell his
neighbor from down the hall that
she's got to go.
ANOTHER SHITTY RIOT
Amidst the sideshow freak salon that com-
prises the Action Sports Retailer Trade Show,
little stands out from the insanity and the
inanity. Yet occasionally bored participants
come up with diversionary plans that merit
investigation. The Black Flys crew threw down
with some disgruntled adversaries in the mid-
dle of the last Long Beach show, drawing a
large crowd of enthusiastic spectators and
police. Because of this fight they were summar-
ily banned for life from the show. Many felt
that the ASR's tactics were unnecessarily
extreme. Even former Flys exec Jonathan
Paskowitz pleaded that the punishment did
not fit the crime since "self-defense was a con-
stitutionally guaranteed privilege." Another
provocative ASR alternative proposal is a pro-
fessional prize fight pitting Simon Woodstock
against Hawaiian big wave rider Brock Little.
The ring event is planned to take place in
September in conjunction with the ASR show
and the betting line is already going. Serious
training is the order of the day, with Little rid-
122 THRASHER
ing thirty foot waves while Woodstock works
on the speed bag while wearing clown shoes.
MEDIA
WRONG
DJUP
Know
SPEEDY
The ice games at Nagano were notable for
the ceaseless "non-promotion" of Jake
"Burton" Carpenter, who was there for the
apparent Zen-like experience of creating the
impression of not being there at all. This paral-
lel non-participation
profile was astonish-
ing since Burton's
retinue of PR sup-
port staff ceaselessly
labored to keep his
visage in publica-
tions like USA Today.
One interview/pro-
file after another
chronicled Burton's
desire "to be left
alone to do it his
own way." Team
rider
CaraBeth
Burnside competed
in her Olympic
events and skated
the sanitized con-
fines of the Olympic
Village, keeping the
security staff on
their toes. The once
divine emperor of
Japan appeared
confused as he mod-
SKATEBOARDS
Q. What is the fastest speed
ever achieved (standing up)
on a skateboard?
we had a S
eled his new Armani haute couture while giant
Hawaiian-born sumo wrestlers writhed in the
snow and hundreds of polyester-clad children
scampered for the world television audience.
Kamakura specimen Nishi, Japan's original
board sporter, ollied past the royal motorcade,
creating an international incident in the
process. The affront was so
severe that the Devilman
soon found himself exiled to
the USA for the duration of
the games.
momentous
Mofo is soon to become a
father. The specter of this
occurrence
caused him to observe,
"Being stoked and fright-
ened shitless at the same time
has made me decide that it's
time for me to get my shit
together for the real world."
NO LIE
Will Noah Salasnek soon be
deemed too independent for
certain people's program? Is
he not a highly coveted rider
being sought by at least two
other manus?
Which notorious skate
artist is known to the wenches as
the Vanilla Gorilla and brags of his
exploits with suction bananas?
The right Reverend Amos Brown
continues on in his quest to have
skateboarding banned citywide in
San Francisco. It is said that the
holy man receives his inspira-
tion directly from God.
Elsewhere in the Golden State,
it seems that skate harassment
is increasing along with
skatepark building as by-prod-
ucts of the recent legal classifi-
cation of skating as a haz-
ardous activity. Lensman Ortiz,
for example, was rousted seven
times in a week. A new law
enforcement tactic has
emerged in LA and Orange
counties. Cops reportedly now
routinely seize photographers'
video and photo gear. Are dis-
trict attorneys seeking to use
skate footage as the "evi-
dence" of a "crime"?
Which Washington-based
snowboard maker is attempt-
ing to craft skateboards utiliz-
ing the same materials and
methodology that they employ
to make snowboards? Early
heavily hidden protos have
metal edges and honeycomb
matrix cores and seem to be ultra-
light and flexible.
Which San Diego truck manufac-
turing legend is said to have
labored for three days cutting
down trees on his expansive
HALL OF MEAT
Right: Brian Looney of Ogden, UT performed some
amateur plastic surgery on his face when he
attempted an ollie over a garbage can on a rainy
day. Oops! Left: 15 year old Nicho got zilch when
he tried to bomb a "super-steep hill on my Zero
board. I got ten stiches and a shot in my ass!"
RIP IN PEACE
I'm writing on behalf of my friend Eric Hulse and his brother Greg of
Orlando, Florida. They both died in an automobile accident Dec 20,
1997. Eric had read Thrasher
since the early eighties and
I never missed an issue. Survived
by their mother Linda, brother
Todd and friends Jimi, Eric,
Major, Chris, Brayan and many.
more. Eric was the type that
would have skated all his life; he
skated to live and lived to skate.
You're in my thoughts and live
in my soul, bro. Later,
coastal ranch? Did this well-known
publisher of several environmentally
conscious magazines actually axe
over one thousand trees in this exer-
cise of stealth de-forestation?
Which other manu is secretly build-
ing racing Harleys but doesn't want
his partner to know?
Vans is said to be planning to build
19 indoor skate facilities in the
immediate future. These combi
park/shops are rumored to include
Vans-built skateboards.
ISLAND FEVER
A reincarnation of the infamous
Pearl City ramp sporadically erupts in
Hawaii. Sessions feature tons of top
locs like Bugga Kapuna, Leonard Lee
and Baby Brick Kealoa. Drop-ins run
the range from expected legends like
Jay Adams, Roy Jamison and Buttons
K to the more reclusive such as Rocky
and Pua. The recent appearance in
the area of tourist artist
extraordinaire
Riese
to
Christian
Lassen was noted
with alarm. Is
Lassen, who has
made millions of
dollars vending
his psychedelic
ocean/surf/space
about
art,
focus on skate-
boarding? Lassen is
notorious for both
his art/surfing/pro-
moting skill and for
his habit of touring
about with packs of his
superstar buddies like
magicians Siegfried and
Roy, Elton John and Chuck
Norris
Lassen
-Eric Ranch
skates just may join his surfboard line
alongside such other products del
arte as his pearlescent purple dol-
phin-covered Lamborghini racing car.
YARD SALE
Collector Dale Smith offed three
vintage skateboards in an auction
establishing new records for prices.
His 32" Hobie laminate sold for
around 1500 bucks and his other two
brought in hundreds of hundreds as
well. Unfortunately the Sausage Man
and his cohorts were partying so hard
off the proceeds from the initial sales
that they were a bit foggy by the
time the Hobie Super Surfer went on
the auction block. With his customary
zeal Dale responded to this peak his-
torical event by buying another
round of drinks for the house.
Spotted in the torrid wake of the
Sausagefest were Jun Bug Ikeda, Kirk
Putnam, Red Marshall, Ed Economy,
Gordon McLelland and Randy
Rarrick. Reynolds Yater and
his son Lauran looked
stunned when a dirty
pair of his old
trunks that he had
thrown away years
ago appeared on
the stage and
was sold by
A
a n
Seymour
for the
princely
sum of
3 7 5
bucks.
The
Smith took note of this and said, "I wonder what I could
get for a pair of Mike Weed's stinky skate pads. How
about Greg Weaver's underwear?"
SWOOSH TIME
Don Fisher and Greg Carroll created havoc during a
recent evening outing in Long Beach, California. After
rendering aid and hospitality to some TWS staff girls, the
pair next encountered a highly placed Nike female exec-
utive. The woman, who was earnestly seeking skaters to
subsidize, was shunned by Greg. However, his associate
Fish stayed long enough to give her a crash course in
skate promotion. According to several witnesses, Fish
told the Nike representative that, "You may be the shit
back in Swooshland, Beavertown, or wherever you peo-
ple come from, but in skateboarding you're useless. Stay
away from our company 'cause if you show up on our
property we'll call the police and have you arrested for
trespassing." Later Don Fisher leapt to Jim Fitzpatrick's
defense when an oyster house waitress broke a beer
bottle all over the head of the International Association
of Skateboard Companies organization. The attacker,
who was a well known in-line enthusiast, may have been
offended by some of Fitz's anti-blade sentiments.
Was it a day that passed or was it twenty years? A back-
yard. A pool. A barbecue. A television crew. And Tony
Alva riding and talking story. The Vans folks thought it
was a commercial. TA knew it was just another day.
What is history? For Alva every day is history.
Paul Zuanich and Dan Drehobl have actually hired an
active duty Marine grenadier to train the Freedumb
group in forward recon and tactical support.
Moblow and Schmidt are fronting a print house called
Indian Ink. PS's art expertise is so advanced that he
knocked out fifty original wheel designs in one week.
FEEL ME
"The latest rumor is that Nike has bought Birdhouse."
-Tony Hawk
"I've got this new house and it's empty. I don't have
anything." -Jeff Klindt
"I could write a book but someone would have to pay.
That's only fair." -Tony Alva
"I don't want to hear your voice. There's too much
noise in here already." -Jim Thiebaud
"Getting punched out by a giant is no joke. I've got to
take this seriously...well maybe not too seriously. I just
don't want to die." -Simon Woodstock
"This is my party and I've got millions of dollars."
-Ken Block to police
"I've made over three million decks; that is enough to
know what you are doing."-Mike Pust
WHO IS THIS GUY
AND WHAT IS HE
alert DOING IN THIS MAG?
EVEN THE SCORE
123