TRASH
SMOKE SHOW
If anyone ever required verification that
some sort of bizarre mutations were in
the works, recent activities should alert
even the brain dead that drastic
change is the rule of the day.
Signs of the evolutionary process
of society's changing awareness of
skating are everywhere.
Purportedly, William "I never
inhaled" Clinton, President of these
United States, has fond memories of
those summer days of yore spent side-
walk surfing. More disturbing than
the politico's "smells like teen spirit"
posturing is the recent Newsweek mag-
azine article on the booming sales of
long skateboards. The leading news
publication in the world states in their
exposé titled "A Long Board Summer"
that "Women are snapping them up...
surfless surfers and snowless
Snowboarders say the longboards sat-
isfy their desires for carving 'soulful,'
loping turns... longboarders are cruis-
ing a all the way to the bank." While it
is hardly news that some skaters ride
longer cues, it is extremely revelatory
that the big media considers the long-
board renaissance worthy internation-
al news. Note the fact that Newsweek
feels compelled to capitalize the name of
Snowboarding, apparently indicating its
increased importance, while the presumably
"lesser" sports of surfing and skateboarding
must muddle about with their lower case let-
ters. If memory serves us, doesn't a capital
lead letter denote a "proper name"?
The computer-generated, video simulation.
skating of the current national CheeriosⓇ
breakfast cereal commercial depicts some famil-
iarly odd maneuvers. Media punditry has it that
the cyber skaters' moves were cloned from a
combination of sources. How's this for eclecti-
cism and originality: combine the acrobatic
Dry Dive
PLAY STATION
Alternative contest formats may come and
depart with spasmodic irregularity, but vir-
tual reality makes even the most ridiculous
demands seem conceivable. Proof of this
plausibility index is the Sega Skateboarding
Top Skater series. You do, but you don't, and
"The grand prize winner will get a fat
$10,000.00 bank roll!" which is simulatedly
more real than we'll ever be. Perhaps the
Warp Tour and the X-Games could be dis-
tilled down into a 64 bit format as well; thus,
opening them up to the masses?
Unknown agents cemented in the void
between the bank and the concrete barrier at
Jersey In SF. This heinous atrocity escaped
the notice of the Bay Guardian, who rated
EMB as San Francisco's best
current spot.
Is the pool half empty or half full? Ryan
Holloway ponders this question while doing
his best Jason Ellis impersonation.
zeal of Olympic champion Mary Lou Retton
with the freestyle shenanigans of Reggie
Barnes from a long ago Magic Mountain con-
test video with Girl flicks of a Rick Howard
Mouse tricksuit and apparently the result is a
$1 million prime time television commercial.
The originators of the form have been bypassed
by simulations. Today's skate docu is the basis of
the future of faux athleticism.
Scarred for Life
Kawasaki motorcycles is cam-
paigning a logo that is virtually
identical to an old Venture
trucks symbol.
Mic-E Reyes reportedly still
owes Zooch $60.00 he borrowed
at a trade show. Paul's team.
manager Greg Carroll is also
still waiting to collect on the bal-
ance due on the 1964 Chevy he
ance
sold
Mic-E some years back.
Equally shortchanged is
Christian Cooper, who was
amazed to see a Deluxe trade
show
booth
he painted appear-
ing in a Japanese art mag as the
handiwork of Reyes.
Consolidated team guy and
all around biker dude Jason
Jessee is off to New Zealand
for some snow doggin' and
skatin' along with mountain
man John Cardiel and
Aaron Sedway. The search for
Lee Ralph continues.
ART BOARD
Former champion Adrian Demain is said to
be touring with Rockabilly legend Link Wray,
and onetime Santa Cruz model man Rick
"Spidey" DeMontrond is laying down tracks
in the recording studio and fabled to be close to
a deal with Atlantic, who is thinking about Mo
Wax's Tommy Guerrero release, while TG is
working on a promo flick with Thomas
Campbell, while TC is doing
The trashmen ask the eternal question,
"When was the last time you saw a TWS,
Big Brother, or Slap tat? Are you down?
an art gig on the sand at
Huntington Beach Pier in con-
junction with Dan Drehobl,
Ed "Big Daddy" Roth,
mmy C, and Twist, who is
Jimmy
also in a show
the San Francisco Arts
how sponsored by
Commission featuring Bryce
Kanights, Jim Thiebaud,
Tobin Yelland, Christian
Cooper, Guerrero, and Kevin
Ancell, who claims that he
hasn't gone Hollywood, but
was sighted near Hollywood
and Vine with Joel Tudor,
who had just returned from
winning the European surfing
championships where he
scored a four grand prize,
which he lost an hour later.
The DJ at the Kalakaua
nightclub is Grant "G Dog" Fukuda, but he
doesn't play Link Wray cuts.
The California State Senate's Judiciary
Committee approved AB 1296 as amended,
which means that the bill to add skateboard-
ing to the hazardous recreational activities list
will most likely be approved by the Governor.
Theoretically, cities will now be motivated to
build public parks. And how many are already
being planned? Architect Steve Rosa is
believed to be working on 19 skateparks
including sites like Venice, Long Beach,
Brawley and Laguna Niguel, five in the
Seattle area, and a $200,000.00 facility in
Bellingham, Washington.
FIST FIRST
Jesse Martinez is rumored to have tax
problems that trace back to his ownership of a
prominent company. Rodney Mullen is
rumored to have offered to help Mess out.
Meantime, Martinez is out golfing with Chris
Cook. While old buddy Natas Kaupas and
tory of erotic art and artifice.
Will his personal artistic
expression now be all sweet-
ness and light? What's next,
a full-on religious conver-
sion? Is Giant serious when
he claims that pornography
is "destroying his relation-
ship with his girlfriend"?
CROSSED BONES
The coefficient of repeated-
ly notwithstanding the
grandmaster of retro is
extraordinary in his quest to
replicate the
good ol' days.
Will Bones Brigade führer
George Powell hire motion
pic practitioner Wing Ko to
put together a video? The
odd couple were recently
seen viewing the corp's
massive assemblage of
Hall of Meat
The giant hill by the village cemetery in
Phoenix, NY, claimed the derma of Jeff Evans.
Mark Oblow are on the verge of starting yet
another shoe company.
Elsewhere in shoe-biz news is the new list of
big names now on the Vans roster. Add to the
mix: Mike Frazier, Willy Santos and John
Cardiel. Longtime riders Karma Tsocheff and
Ethan Fowler are on the verge of designing
some new shoes for the masses.
Acme is said to have acquired the Scarecrow
contingent, while word on the West Coast was
of a raid by the Federales at the I-Level facility
in Tennessee. Those who know aren't talking
and those under scrutiny aren't laughing.
With vintage hand-drawn Dogtown Skates
selling for several hundred dollars, no one
was too shocked when Wes Humpston decid-
ed to reprise some of his signature artwork
and re-enter the skate market.
Porno
conquista-
dor Giant
claims to
be burning
his exten-
sive inven-
Poser of
the Month
recent footage
of born
Powell Peralta
orn again
veterans like Borst and
Vallely. Talk around the
Church of Skatan has Mr
Powell obsessed with returning
"honest values" to the sport of
filming Animal Chin II. Is Ko
being courted as a filmmaker or
as an actor? Ko is unavailable
for comment having gone to
Jamaica for the Cartoon
Network. Now was that in a
comic or an uncomic capacity?
The much anticipated 23 tour
was put on hold indefinitely
when mogul Sal Barbier was
hospitalized after a particularly
heinous golfing accident. The sole
man was trying to blast out a 30
foot sandtrap when the
ball bounced of
the wall of his
room and
nailed him
in the
mouth.
Golfing
in your bedroom?
HITCHING POST
Tying the knot in late
June was longtime skate
rocker and unofficial
of San Jose, Ray
mayor
Stevens II, who married his
longtime sweetheart, Becky.
Those in attendance included
Steve Caballero, JJ Rogers,
Todd Prince, Mofo, Mike Fox
of the Dwarves, Jeff from
the Diesel Queens, the
Odd Numbers, the
Gas Huffer guys
(who
played
a surf
Julien Stranger
shows how to hail
a cab in San Diego
Assailant: Aaron Chavez
Deed: Wackside frontslide
Judgement: Jenny Craig
set at the reception as their alter-ego band,
the Del Lagunas), as well as just about the
whole city of SJ. With all the members of the
Drunk Injuns present, they performed an
impromptu song that was in the wedding. It
was a night of revelry and drinking, with
some of it even underage.
Munk Hubbard and Jenny's shotgun
wedding came together in just a couple days.
Although the event was a success, there were
some interesting moments as the strange
combination of family, champagne, and the
Hesh crew all found themselves in the same
room. The ceremony was 4 days after the due
date of their baby, who strolled in fashion-
ably late on August 5th.
WRAP UP
"I never went away, I just wasn't there."
-Wes Humpston
"I suppose you could call it a collaboration. I
did the artwork while Mic-E drank for the
both of us."-Christian Cooper
"I ain't no Andy Roy."
-Sal Barbier
"I'd like to tell the kids, if there
isn't a place to skateboard in
McHenry, don't buy a skate-
board, buy a baseball mitt or
soccer ball."
-Steve Cuda, McHenry,
Illinois, Mayor
THRASHER
ELIGION NORL WIDE
139