Supersexy Swingtd Sounds
THE ASTRO-CREEP
REMIX ALBUM
featuring remixes by
White
Zombie
FULL STEREO
WHITE ZOMBIE
The Dust Brothers,
Charlie Clouser,
P.M. Dawn,
Supersexy Swingin' Sounds
ORONALLY PRODUCED BY TERRY DATE AND WHITE ZOMB
BUTT PIRATE
I live in Baltimore, MD, and skate
there almost every day. Last
Saturday, I was out until 12:30 am
skating, and I had to go home
because I was freezing my nuts off. I
took the bus home because it was
late, and I was in a bad neighbor-
hood. I got on the bes, and there
was just one other dude on it. He
was sitting all the way in the back.
He
was a big motherfucker, dressed
all in black. I was sitting at the front when he come
and sat next to me. He had this big ass block eye. I
thought he was going to kick my ass and take my
money, but be just sat down. After a while, he said,
"What is the difference between those long skate
beards and the shorter ones?" I don't know shit
about longboards, and I didn't want to sound like a
retard, so I just bullshitted him for five minutes.
Then he asked me if I knew where his stop was, and
I told him we were two blocks away. He hit the
buzzer, the bus stopped, and, as he was leaving,
he
e
said, "Later, skater, mesturbater," and plented
100 dollar bill in my hand as he slapped me five.
I was stunned. I didn't know what to fucking sey. As
I saw him walking away he gave me a wink with his
big ass black eye. What the hell are these long-
boards for, anyway?
He wanted your ass. Ted
ROCK SOLID
Ryan Vaughan
Baltimore, MD
Ever since I stepped on a piece of 7-ply, hard rock
maple, I knew my destiny in life. Many say you
must deal with the cords dealt in life. So, that's when
I pulled the ace of spodes out of my pocket and
changed my hand. Fuck what society wants. These
translucent lemmings, I'm not viewed as much by
society, but at least I don't have premature, stress-
induced, life-threatening illnesses. So, to those who
think skateboarding is for those under 10, they
haven't got a due. Well, while you're keeping up
with the Joneses, I'll be out exploring the vest con
crete wasteland with my skateboard and my soul.
MORE ONS
Isaac Kenyon
Ukiah, CA
We have read the lists people send in, and, in our
opinions, they kind of suck. So, we made one that
most people will probably agree with
1. Ethan Fowler kicks everyone's ass. He is the mos
2. Ed Templeton can take his art, his nudist wife,
and his butt-hugger pants, and go fuck off.
3. Snowboarding is not as cool as it looks
4. Alien Workshop stuff sacks a big fat one
MAILDROP
5. Eddie Vedder is secretly a woman.
6.
Kurt Cobain was a laser. No one poisoned his
angel dust or anything like that. The only person we
could think of who is a bigger worthless, whining
piece of crop was his wife.
7. Politics is a big of fat crock. All of these old, argu
ing, donut-scarling, pipe-smoking, lazy bastards
need to get real jobs
8. Guttermouth is the best punk band.
9. Surfers really do suck
10. People who think that Korn sucks need to get o
fuckin' life. "Blind" is the best song we've heard in
a long time.
11. Brandon Sullivan has big time herpes. We know
someone with proof.
12. Courtney Love has a penis. So, for those of you
who don't get it, she gave, and is still giving a lot
of butt-love. Now you know why Cobain said he
was bisexual
13. That new Slogheap thing was cool and right on.
We want more!
14. Girl skaters are extremely cool.
15. We like Nick and Andy
The Normals
Mountain Ranch, CA
16. There is nothing cool about being Normal. Ted
BUMMER SCHOOL
Today was my last day of school, and my sum
mer is beginning. For most, it should mean it's
party time-girls, beaze and all-out partying.
Actually, it is already the worst sammer I've ever
hod. Let me start out by saying I broke my foot (so,
no skating this summer), my best friend bod to run
away from a dysfunctional home, I'm still waiting
on a trial date due to some beer and a pipe, and
worst of all, my friends cad I are fucking nerds and
can't get pussy
Last weekend I went to skate some of the best
handrails in Oklahoma. They're short, but clean. My
friends went to get some cole, and I stayed. The sex-
and they left, I lost my concentration and fell, only
to find out yesterday that I broke my foot. Luckily I
don't need a cast. I just have to wear a fucking
retarded sandal for a month
Also, last weekend my best friend's crazy parents
tested him for drugs, end, obviously, he failed, so
my friends went to rescue him. To make a long story
short, that night was one of the most stressful nights
All this bullshit has been making my life a living
hell. Maybe if i had a girlfriend, she could make
some things better, if you know what I mean. But,
I still hope for the best for the upcoming months.
Join the army. Ted
Gobe Friedmon
Oklahoma City, OK
into the flood
flood again.
ALICE
IN
CHAINS
UNPLUGGE
A rare concert appearance is captured in this 74-minute recording,
featuring 12 startling new versions from Alice's back pages
and one new track, The Killer Is Me."Unplugged" contains
music not available on the MTV broadcast.
Alice In Chains. "Unplugged." The New Album. If they would, could you?
COLUMBIA Sher
Produced by Toby wright and Alice In Chains.
Available at all sam
samgoody/musicland Locations
10 TH