Mai
*pharcyde Drep
LABCABINCALIFORNIA
Spit all gnits, snits and places
to sit at Mail Drop, c/o Thrasher,
PO Box 884570, SF, CA 94188-4570.
BURNED BAD
Welcome to RA. My name is
"Joe," and I stopped rollerblading
two years ago. I would like to help
all the "bladers" out there who
would like to quit in 11 steps. Step
1, realize that you have a problem.
Step 2, find a group of friends that
you can trust to help you (Eg: a
bunch of big skaters to mouth off
to and then let them beat the
fact that rollerblading bites into.
your preppie ass head). Step 3,
burn all rollerblading equipment
and paraphernalia in a symbolic
bonfire. Step 4, try various illegal
substances that give you a chemi-
cal imbalance at the same bonfire.
Step 5, make a list of the things
that you have done "blading" with
other people and do something in
retribution for every heinous act
(Ex: tell the list to the aforemen-
tioned group of skaters and let
them again issue severe beat
downs). Step 6, make another list
of all the loser rollerbladers you
used to hang out with and apolo-
gize after issuing equally severe
beat downs. Step 7, apologize in
public, in school, and to your inner
family, for being a dork. Step 8,
get some from a chick. Step 9, do
your part in informing other peo-
ple how "blading" sucks. Step 10,
review and discuss various aspects
of each step with other members
of Rollerblading Anonymous. Step
11, go to weekly meetings and
continue to live by the 11 steps.
"Joe" Frank
Richville, MN
Just remember, only trolls live
under the steps. Ted
FACE FIRST
First and foremost, I gotta give
props to your mag. It's the best
thing since canned beer. I'm writ-
ing in response to the "Slim Fast"
letter in your October '95 issue.
LOVE
By reading the note this guy wrote
you can tell exactly what kind of
Neanderthal tweaker this guy is,
ranting about how spandex rules
and how "you never see a speed
skater get kicked out." You see,
spandex boy, that we get kicked
out of places because over the
past fifteen years, skating has
been deemed as something non-
conformist which makes it wrong.
So wait a few years, then see what
happens when you and all your
speed skatin' friends get kicked
out on your asses. Think about the
impressions that you just put in
the minds of a million readers. If
I'd never met a rollerblader, I'd
think you guys were all dickheads
after reading that letter. And you
wonder why over half the skating
population hates rollerbladers so
much. I've read so many letters in
Thrasher from rollerbladers whin-
ing out their asses, complaining
about how skaters hate them so
much. Well, you're part of the rea-
son, assholes. If it makes you feel
hard because you spouted your
load in our mag, I'm happy for
you, but see how much "speed"
Foundation Super Co. 1996
The leading representation passionately inebriated with amplified.
Spontaneous trousportation embellished beyond known spectrums
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