TRASH
BIG DEAL
Amidst the many bizarre incongruities of ESPN's Extreme
Games, who could help but notice the inaneness of the
mainstream TV coverage? Portraying Tony Hawk as an
"acrobat wunderkind," or Mike Vallely as a "family man and
excellent spokesman for the sport" was all well and good.
G-DOG
& Z-DOG
The earth was permanently
thrown off its axis when Grant
Fukada met up with legendary
Dogtown warrior Shogo Kubo
on the big island of Hawaii.
Even passing Greg Carroll off
as a "trainer and logistical
coordinator could be per-
ceived as having some slight
basis in fact. But the idiot
video witch called Susie Colver took the prize
for overall moronic commentary. Her best sin-
gle statement from the Fort Adams games site
had to be the following commentary: "A lot of
the sports you see out here at the games come
from skateboarding... like baggy pants."
Eric Mathies was leading an entourage of
cops, musicians and skaters through downtown
LA. The stated occasion was the filming of a
Ben Harper vid. Seen on the same gig at vari-
ous locales around the basin including Chicken's
Pool were Koston, Dune, Daewon and Gentry.
The general trend towards the mainstreaming
of edge/culture (and skateboarding and
surfing, in particular) is reaching epidemic
proportions. Recently, the designer/multina
tional corporation Ralph Lauren arrived in Santa
Barbara with their checkbook in hand. They
managed to persuade Jim O'Mahoney, the
one-time head of Skateboard Magazine and the
NSA Organization, to rent them his entire surf/
skate museum. The garmentos then hermetical-
ly sealed up hundreds of artifacts and dutifully
transported the lot to New York where they dis-
played them all at Polo Sport HQ on Madison
Avenue. Worst yet, primordial photographic
documentarian Glen E Friedman is slated to
appear on the ever-so-happening television
HALL OF SHAME
INSTA-REBEL
When in doubt whip out a fag and puff. Not a social
commentary but a fact of life. And remember, in
twenty years these are the drunks you'll see in a
bar saying, "Skateboard? I used to skateboard."
show Politically Incorrect. Word is that acerbic
host Bill Maher wants to dissect Friedman's
alleged promotion of "sexism, guns and vio-
lence in his photos of the skate, rap and punk
scenes. Sicker yet is the Fire Chief of San Fran
cisco's anointing of JFA transmutation Brian
Brannon as a hero. Apparently, Brannon's res-
cue of a drowning nine-year-old a few months
back from a raging sea was enough to offset
the musician/skate collector/alleged big wave
rider's numerous human rights abuses on tour.
So, if you really want to discuss jumping on
the bandwagon, how about President Bill
Clinton's recent dinner date with Kevin "Tum-
bleweed" Ancell? The pair were reportedly
spotted amidst a throng of sixty secret service
agents glad-handing each other while other.
astonished gourmands shrunk back in disgust.
Ancell, who claims to be preparing an art exhi-
bition of abalone inlaid koa wood surfboards for
that delectable debutante Katy Clark, refuses
to discuss his interaction with the President of
these United States. Reliable observers, howev-
er, attribute the following verbal interchange to
Left to right: DUDE-Yuri Bordas, CRIME-Shomstand, SENTENCE-Nose
scabs. SUSPECT-Ronnie Choma, MOVE-Pose stall, PUNISHMENT-Slim
Fast. SUSPECT-Matt Glus, CRIME-Dump truck, VERDICT-Roto-Rooter.
the pair: Ancell, "Yo, Bubba, how
does it feel to be the most powerful
Religieuse fervente
du "skateboard"
NUNS HAVE
MORE FUN
Craving a little bit of excitement, a French nun jams
the streets of Paris taking a ride on the wild side.
BABY
CUJO
Under the watchful gaze of
Lauren, Mark Gonzales pre-
pares himself for yet another
amazing feat of skateboard
wizardry by jumping the
Hunters Point canyon on
inflatable tires, no less.
AXLE GREASE
Which major Hawaiian
surf pro recently left a very
evident surf/skate clothing
company's sponsorship in
favor of very static support from the
ancients over at Town & Country? Was it
about freedom, as alleged, or money?
The new two hundred dollar fine for
skateboarding in North Arlington, Now
Jersey, made the international news cir-
cuit. Is it true that eastern skate manus
and distributors are talking about filing a
class action suit on the behalf of the
skaters victimized by this ridiculous law?
How come the Santa Cruz phone
woman kept saying, "Russ Pope
is on vacation" whenever
people tried to call? Did
someone forget to clue
her in that he was so
long gone, that it has been
officially over for months?
David Hackett is now
seemingly doing a clothing
company called Sidewalk
Surfwear with people like
Pete Zender and Jeff and
Maria Michaels involved.
Meanwhile, Tony Alva and DH
have been surfing with pods of
who else? Paul Schmitt, Chris Miller, Chris
Carter, Bob Denike, Jim Gray, Rick Howard
and Reggie Barnes.
HARD SELL
I've always known that I was going to do some-
thing, but I was never sure what."
"Barn heckled."
Jean-Michelle
motherfucker in the universe?" Clinton (laugh- dolphins in overhead conditions at
ing), "It feels pretty good."
WORLD AFFAIRS
Has Steve Rocco become the latest born
again longboarder? A while back he was piloting
Billy Stewart Hydrohull. Now he's taken to
riding another manufacturer's lengthy skate-
boards. Recently, Steve's been visible at the
Zuma Beach lair of Stacy Peralta. Peralta, who
steadfastly denies interest in the business end
of the deal, has been spotted testing battery-
operated GM cars at Euro Disney in Paris.
The New York Times has waged a recent
smear campaign regarding the "incompatibility"
of snowboarders and skiers on the same slopes.
In concert with this, the American Trial Lawyers'
Association has issued a memo to the industry
targeting snowboarding as a hazardous activi-
ty. All of this hype and hysteria ignores the sta-
tistical evidence that the odds of sustaining an
injury serious enough to report while snow-
boarding is only 4 in 1000. Things have appar.
ently gotten so out-of-hand that Judge Alex
Kozinski harangued the anti-snowboard cam-
paign in the Wall Street Journal. The judge's eru-
dite tongue-in-cheek article was titled "Skiers
Beware the Apocalypse."
Pillboy. And just to demonstrate that
the crossover phenomenon is com-
plete, isn't Georges "Guess" Marciano
doing a line called GM Surf?
A Think beanie showed up on Bud Bundy
on TV's Married with Children. Is this yet anoth-
er instance of pseudo-skate clothing which has
been forged by dollar-chasing business types?
OLD TIMES
And just to prove your life is over
when you leave skating, John Van
Hammersveld, the designer of
the original Makaha Skate-
boards logo, is now doing
design work for both Fender
Guitars and In & Out Burger.
Chuck Hultz is back at
Brad Dorfman's doing the
woodshop deal. If memory
serves us well, didn't a gen-
tleman of Hultz' description
once sport a "Honk if Brad
Dorfman Owes You Money"
bumper sticker on his car?
The IASC recently elected.
their Board of Directors. It is,
-David Hackett
-Wheatberry
After putting in umpteen
hours of service at the Girl
factory, Rick Howard still
takes time out to share
his skateboard genius
with the masses.
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