GRINDING
FUTURE ALL STAR
MAIL DROP
THE TOP 501 REASONS
REASON No: 026
THRAMMA
SF CA
GERALD REESE AN
BAG IT
Spit all tits, grits and moldy
catcher's mitts to Mail Drop,
c/o Thrasher, PO Box 884570,
San Francisco, CA 94188-4750.
This is a stickup. Put all your
money in a brown paper bag and
leave it on your doorstep. I'll be by
to pick it up tomorrow morning.
The Copulated Bandit
Your Town, USA
HARD DRUGS
The aliens of this overtaken
world are underemphasizing the
truth. The magical feeling of card-
board is cutting through itself. It
is using electrified saliva. The
aliens are eating paper. Poking the
television with a digitally remas-
tered toothpick is the alien's war
game. Work well for the aliens,
for they will eat you like paper.
They have taken over the world,
and you are a slave. Build them a
workshop using Cheeze Whiz.
They belong to your brain, it is
feeding their workshop. They
belong to the workshop, and you
belong to their fish. They can see
through you like a banana in an
eggplant. They can listen with
their eyes closed. They are smart
with stupidity. Who are they? I
don't care. I should care; they will
eat me. They are strange, but I
shouldn't say that. They are paper
eating aliens in a zone of indefin-
able war. They are attacking me!
Help! I am dead. I am an alien.
working for the others who will not
feed me. I eat paper. Invisible.
fourth fret on the banjo, taking
other people's time.
Get some sleep. Ted
RATED Q
Elvis
Florence, SC
This is for Evard H Gibby from
Kimberly, ID, who wrote a dis-
gusting letter in the April issue. My
51-year-old father ordered a sub-
scription to Thrasher several years
ago without my permission just
like your son, and I have just dis
covered them today. The content
of this magazine is fair, admirable,
refined, pleasant, honorable and
downright interesting. This materi
al is not suitable for adults and
under no circumstances should it
be shown to them. The magazine
has more pornography than both
Penthouse and Hustler, more pro-
fanity than HBO Def Comedy Jam,
every page number is 69, and
every page shows at least one
police officer getting his face
slammed into the ground by a
MOMS NEVER LOOK IN THAT LITTLE POCKET.
501
GRIND
send one dollar for catalog and stickers to
5445 oceanus #107 huntington beach ca. 92649.
69 THRASHER
PO BOX 33510
SAN FRANCISCO.c
94133-1570
ORIGINAL 501 BLUE JEANS O LEVI STRAUSS & CO