-
our minds, please say it. But if your
episode is ineffectual, then by all
means, keep your silence.
Then shut up. T-ed
DONE GONE
NEW
Calgary, Canada
If I have to read another letter
about how Kurt Cobain was the
greatest, man, I'm going to puke!
I'm talking to you, K Dave Lutz,
and Pissed-Off! I'm reading about
how it takes a real man to blow his
brains out. Here's a news flash: sui-
cide is a pussy move! Real men
face their problems. Real men keep
on living. Pansies kill themselves.
What were Kurt Cobain's problems
anyway? Let's see, he was a rich
rock star with a wife and kid.
Whoa, man, such problems. I wish I
had that shitty life! If he didn't like
the spotlight, he could have lived
out in a cabin in the middle of
nowhere. But no, he had a needle
in his vein and a gun to his head.
Maybe Kurt No Brain should've
learned life is what you make it. So,
I hope all of you Nirvana dick-
weeds write plenty of letters say-
ing I'm an asshole. Hell, print my
whole address, and you can write
me personally if you've got
the balls. But I
really doubt
it since you
think having
balls is ending your
life. I'm sorry if I've hurt your little
feelings. Later, pussy boys.
Jeremy Alexander
Meridian, MS
BACK UP
A couple of weeks ago, one of
my good friends, Rylan, crashed at
my pad. We prank-called some
wannabe skater/snowboarder and
told him if he didn't bring us ten
bucks, we would kick his ass. He
found out about Rylan, but not me.
I talked to him a couple of days
after the phone call, and he said he
was going to kick Rylan's ass. A
couple of days later, Rylan went
up to him at school and started
talking shit to the wannabe named
George. George pushed Rylan, so
Rylan started kicking his ass. Rylan
and I consider ourselves
punk rockers, so we stick
together. After about two
minutes of getting his ass
kicked, George started
landing some hits. About
five fellow punk rockers,
skaters and I jumped in
and beat him down.
When it was all over,
George had a broken
nose, thumb, and head
injuries. I was charged
with battery on school
grounds. I have to go to
court and maybe the hall
or a foster home for being beyond
parental control. Now I wonder
whether we did the right thing by
jumping in. What do you think?
Prunedale, CA
Live by the sword, die by the
sword. Ted
WHEE! HAVE FUN!
CO
DICK CHENARY
As I cruised to the cryptic spot!
had discovered for a cursory ses
sion, I rolled down an insidious,
Brobdingnagian hill. It was so gar
gantuan, it was chimerical, but also
simon-pure. I was so myopic, I
couldn't see the tenebrous bottom
of the hill even though I had a
case of stygiophobia, since
I was profligate and
flagitious, and I
had thanato-
phobia. I felt
Herculean, nonpareil
and pre-eminent. So I went down
it. I began to expedite and aug-
ment to an apogee at speed. As I
approached the perigee of the
hill, I didn't feel like the juggernaut
I thought I was. I slammed so hard
that there wasn't
enough left of me
to make an effigy. I
looked like the
vile leftovers of a
bloody vivisection.
You forgot to annotate your
hyperbole. Ted
Josh
Hell
dorothys fortress
TM
fuct
telephone 213 627 7165 facsimile 213 627 7330
ר דרור
FROM STAUS.
10 THRASHER