OFFSPRING
SMASH
TO HEAR OFFSPRING
DEAL THE 213. I OFFEND
THATS 213.463.3363... DUH.
EPITAPH
NEW RELEASE
CD
LP
cassettE
on
Canada. I drove down in a little
blue Sprint with some of my friends
for about two-and-a-half hours.
The whole way we listened to BR
and had a really good time. While
we were leaving the concert, we saw
two friends stuck for a ride, so we
offered. The four man car now had
seven people in it, and luckily I was
in the trunk. The whole way back we
listened to BR and everyone was
very tired. We were almost halfway
home when the driver of the car fell
asleep at the wheel. We ended up
implanted to the side of a cement
bridge and the car was on fire. It was
probably the worst thing that I
have ever been through. We've
done a lot of recovering since the
accident, but there is one thing
that has popped up in my mind at
least a million times since that night,
"I hate Bad Religion."
M Henderson
Penetanguishene, Ontario, Canada
STRIPPED GEARS
Okay, here's my dilemma. I'm a
fourteen year old skater who goes
to this pussy-ass preppy school of
fucking losers. I used to wear a
kick-ass double chain like Slash of
Guns N' Roses, and everybody
thought it was kick-ass except for
the elite few of the teachers and
faculty. Well one day I
was called to the office
where the new princi-
pal took it away. As it
turns out, my fat-ass
English teacher went
and told him it's disturb-
ing her class and she
thought it should be
confiscated. When I
learned of this, being the
kind of guy I am, I took my skate and
bashed the fuck out of her van. They
still suspect me of the crime, but
they don't have any evidence to
prove I did it. Anyway, back to the
point, should I wear my chain or not?
Really Fuckin' Pissed
Middle of Utah
Chains are for bicycles. T-ed
Morry 93
Ware
5 every
HARD
TIME
I am a
skater
chick from
Flagstaff,
Arizona,
and I'd like.
to say some-
thing to Sage
Humphries. In
the February '94
issue he said that Double duh!
he hated his feet
because they were a size ten-and-
a-half. Well don't shit in your pants
Sage. If you take a guys' shoe size
and cut it in half, you have the length
of the guy's pud in inches. That
means yours is five-and-a-quarter
inches. Give me a call sometime.
Sketcher
Flagstaff, AZ
I wear size 14EEE. T-ed
UGLY CHICKS
Hi, we are two fifteen year old.
Bettys from the Seattle area. If we're
lucky enough just maybe,
some
of you confused preps will be read-
ing this and learn something. We are
sick of seeing you in Pumas and Vans
acting like you were the very first
ones to step foot into a pair of Cons
We guess it wouldn't be so bad if
you stole "fashion trends" (is that
how Seventeen says it?) from skaters
and gangsters if you actually looked
good in our clothes, but then you
Pas put this part in a mag
the we wid share your log
Live fam
Sven Hjulen 2 Ave
have no idea how bad you look
because your friends that look
worse than you do are busy
applauding you. Why are you!
so confused? Is The Gap not
trendy enough for you any-
more? Is grunge not fashion-
able anymore? But truly, we
do feel sorry for all of you,
because if it weren't for skaters
and gangsters, you would
probably be naked. What are
you going to do when Vans and
chain wallets go out of style?
Please, for your own good, stay
in The Gap world, we are sick
of being mocked. And this is
especially to all you booty tight
jean wearin' skanky punanie
hoes, our makeup maybe dark
and maybe we don't wear tight
aypb ୦୧ nt gam୮୦୬
8TH
8188-002 (818) noitudintaib