"All truths are half truths."
James Kelch (right)
takes time out from
custodial duties at
EMB to show the 9
to 5 crowd how ex-
cited he is about his
new underwear.
skate-
boarding
is such a
crime that
it must be
banned in
metropolitan
business areas,
why does it
CHAIRMEN OF
THE BOARDS
Most pros from 1988
have opted for a whole
company rather than a
single pro model, so you
can support your favorite
dinosaurs with our refer-
ence table below:
Acme.........
1 More Skate Co.
Chapter Seven.
Alien Work Shop
The Firm....
Real
101
Channel One.
Gray
Park
McGill
Blender
Mountain/Barbee
Guerrero/Thiebaud
Kaupas
Jimenez
Miller
Hawk/Welinder
Schmelzer
O'Brien
Planet Earth
Birdhouse Project.
Slander
Koklieb.
World
Rocco/Mullen
Black Label.
Underworld Element
Lucero
Howell
Public.
Reategui
Hosoi
Fun
Allent
STRANGE BEHAVIOR
Ned Hadden, former Assault Skates
guru and current czar of the World Trans-
port Foundation, was forcibly kicked out of
Webb Park along with Jeremy Allyn
Mariano, Henry, Rudy. Gavin and
Castillo were busted in the Pig Bait
Park for riding motorcy
cles amidet
LEMONADE
FLAVOR
Kool-Aid
UNSWEETENED SOFT DRINK MIX-ADD SUGAR
WITH VITAMIN C
keep showing
up in national
advertising? Next
time the cops try to
bust you at the local
plaza, just yell the
words. "Hey Kool-Aid."
74 THE MACAINE
the obstacles. Guy cleared the whole
box but hit the wall, almost bursting
into flames himself as the leaky gas
tank erupted.
John Dettman and Jim Knight
woke up in the dusty desert town of
Los Alamos and decided to try to
corner the market on western an-
tiques. Boots, saddles, and sheep
shears are the new frontiersmen
trading stock. Detters appears to
have seriously gone cowboy.
Ron Bertino was voted most
likely to overdose on Coca-
Cola by a jury of his peers.
Dickvak is back on point in
charge of the NHS empire.
Spies relate that the histori-
an is pointing to the 1983
business curve chart and
calling it relevant to our
modern life.
MAKES 2 QUARTS NET WT.0.310Z
skating, but when the
boys did ride. Danny
showed some master-
pieces to hang in the
hall of fame: 540's to
tail, body varial out,
varial in and pressure flip noseslap fakie
three feet out. Wade is so into two-wheel-
ing he may have a caroor waiting for him
after skating, à la Steve Salisian.
MASTERS OF DISASTER
Danny Way's big handrail slam was se-
vere enough that people were claiming
snapped leg. However, Way walked off
and the truth presumably appears on
video Questionable.
Provocateur/artist Sean Cliver totaled
his latest auto when a bee buzzed in the
window. After his high speed freeway mis
hap. Cliver procured the 1967 Mustang of
his dreams. Unfortunately, Sean was un-
able to sleep aftar making the vintage Ford
fastback purchase, so the next day he
took the pony car back and got yet anoth-
er, more sensible, Honda-esque product.
AROUND THE WORLD
Chip Morton was observed watching
vintage Hobie Super Surfer skateboard
team footage at Hamburger Hula in
Cardiff. Is former world-ranked champion
John Freis somehow involved in the own
ership of the Hula restaurant?
Oswaldo Caesar Acosta hosted Chris
Senn and Frankie Hill on a skate tour of
Venezuela. The terrain, food and culture
were all fine. Mr. Hill was so pumped on
his experience that he went back to Ams-
terdam with Team Todd immediately.
Art Brewer, Mike Lambrizi and Papa
B. Mistrell were seen surfing a secret is
land base break on the far side of Catalina
Island off the Cali coast.
FLASH POINT
Dae-won Song: 360° nolle fips and triple
olie flips over an eight foot fun box.
Henry Sanchez: Backside 50-50 to allie
nose slap fakie.
Guy Mariano Shove it nose side fake up
an extension.
Mike Carroll: Noseslide to tailslides.
switchstance tailalides to fakie 5-0 regular
off and pressure tip late backside 180
CONTEST ANTS
Chris Senn looked the man to beat at
the PSL transition shindig, but was side-
lined when he tweaked his ankle in prac
tice on a frontside noseslide. The show
was small considering it was a pro contest
in LA. The no-pads deal was a big suc-
cess and the crowd that did show were
rabid and frothy. Masters' results proved
"layback as are cool." Mike Folmer took
the top spot in the 28 and older division
but not without a hard-charging fight from
crowd favorite, Rodney Cassel. Spotted
in the throng were Hackett, Klindt,
Grosso and Lucero. MIAS included Peral-
Wade Speyer and
Dave Dunn recently
ta. Alva and Magnusson. Could this be a
visited Danny Way changing of the guard? Will the World
AIR DOGS
down south for a sit-
the motocross action
deep in the Mojave
Desert. Not much
stand back and watch the Birdcage swing?
AFTER HOURS
After the PSL Contest in LA, Big Brother
HQ was the scene for heated sessioning
the baddest in
the business. In the
house and rolling were Stranger.
Sanchez, Mariano, Rudy Johnson,
Shawn Martin, Blackhart. Thiebaud,
Swindell, Cardiel, Jason Adams, Mullen
and Dae-won. All rode
the night away with
out restrictions or
any scoring.
World
CEO
Rocco was reportedly up to his neck in
paint and squeegees and could not be
reached for comment.
QUESTION SESSION
Is Willie Santos number one in SD? Did
Birdhouse Projects sell a projected:
month's worth of product in a couple of
days? Did a certain FU.C.T. manufacturer
offer Eric Ricks $2000 a month to no
avail? Will news of this offer now cost the
baitman, as his other disgruntled riders de-
mand a cash upgrade? Is a manu current-
ly offering thinly disguised old Vision
Snowboards as freeh equipment under a
different label? Which unnamed teamrider
was filmed by a spy camera doing the
handshake romance with himself in a
small bathroom? Was this a legitimate cin-
ema verite experience or was it an inter-
team slam? Has Bucky Lasek formed at
lowrider truck club called the Paradise
Shakers? Is Death Box laboring on a plan
to attack the US market? Will Jeremy Fox
or lan Deacon suddenly reveal that they
are Yanks born in Cleveland, Ohio?
Which surf in-
dustry mogul is up on a
sexual harassment lawsuit
charge? Is it ironic that this legendary
guy's crime was merely speaking in a nor-
mal manner or is it that the purported
transgression was actually committed by
his look-alike/sound-alike partner/brother
as is widely rumored? Was it more than
curious that a certain glossy-colored skate
magazine refused to run an ad for the al-
ready censored Powell Peralta Hot Batch
video box?
Have the mind-control policies of a cer-
tain few now gotten so extreme that now
we can't even see what isn't there? Was
the publisher of another teen sport rag ob-
served trying to hook up with a major
snowboard manu? Will all these skilled in-
dividuals soon create havoc in the empires
of a few?
Which manufacturer is displaying photos.
of another manu's allegedly secret
room/manufacturing process? Is it true
that the photos are actually of a publicly
accessible tool showroom in downtown
os Angeles?
NO HELP SERVANTS
After averaging three broken boards a
day, Chet Thomas has finally left Public.
After careful consideration, he ended up
Under the Santa Cruz tent and got a board
within an hour and a slick in two weeks.
Birdo, Petersen, Karma, Jesse,
Chrysler and Keenan have all left NHS
and formed Consolidated. Some say
Steve Douglas i also somehow involved.
HOW MUCH ART?
Robert Williams, low-brow artist ex-
traordinaire, recently lectured at the Los
Angeles Museum of Contemporary Art. On
site were The Vandals, Sophia Coppola,
Suzanne Williams. Greg Escalante,
Francis Ford Coppola, The Spence
Twins, Alma Ruiz, Skip Engblom and
Kirk Putnam, Hundreds of others also
showed up. Oddly enough, the LAPD, who
called in the riot squad and helicopters for
the opening of the forementioned show
entitled Helter Skelter, managed to blend
in plain-clothes style. Members of the
Queer Nation and Dykes from
Hell picketed Williams'
exhibition, claiming it
was homophobic trash.
BAD BLOOD
The war between
Sonja Catalano's PSL and
the NSA has hit fever pitch.
A memo was sent by a
shocked and irate "parent"
who had to witness pro skate
boarders ride without helmets in
a contest situation. What's even
more interesting was that the fax
sent to the PSL offices and their
insurance company originated
from the NSA fax line.
SCAM OF THE MONTH
Is it possible that a certain un-
scrupulous individual knocked off the
Plan B Rodney Mullen (semi-nude
Yanna) slick bottom graphic and ap-
plied a crude silk-screened version of it
to some obsolete "Mutt" Freestyle
decks? Are these dubious decks un
marked manufacturer-wise? Are a couple
of dealers even more confused now than
they were over the Stroke-It board? Is
there an evil genius at work here?
THE WORD
Tech is on the decline. Speed and size
are on the rise. With guys like Stranger
Ferdinand and the incomparable Cardiel
the level of competitive skating should es-
calate beyond its current realities.
QUOTES
"I rotate my wheels just like a stock car."
Tony Alva
Does Thrasher ever have anything posi
te to say?"
NSA Newsletter (April-June 1992)
m staying after class at the school of
hard knocks."
Keith Cochrane
New wheels con
do wonders for
morale at a
contest. Don
Fisher (top left)
doing his part
for the war of
fort in a front-
line situation.
They are little
and white, but
this pusher-man
is on the right
side of the law.
After seeing a
documentary on
the Tasadai tribe
of New Guinea,
Andrew White
(below left) tried
to suck the brain
out of a friendly
chipmunk to
hold him over
until dinner.
Designer and
builder of the
Burnside project
Mark Scott (for
left), waves from
the saddle of his
trusty steed on
his quest for
poured cement,
Note: Fly-a-way
helmet).