SWIVELNECKING
Job of month: Tony Hawk
becomes Tony The Tiger for a
commercial. Meanwhile the Hawk-
man labors in obscurity, polishing
the burgeoning skills of his video
repertoire.
Question One: Will lovely Lois,
one-time Powell/Peralta premiere
bartender, open a club in S.F. as
rumored? Allegedly somehow "not
involved" is Dr. Blackhart, who
was last seen knocking over the
cake and deflecting the bouquet at
a certain skate wedding.
Cockroach J.J. reputed to be
fronting an Australian entry in the
upcoming Reno air races.
Mike Kepper and Keith Coch-
rane are said to be road tripping at
a naturally contoured, very skate-
able granite bowl in the Sierra
Nevadas. In a separate but equal
incident, Paul King, better known
south of the China Sea as "Ecca,"
has reportedly located a volcano-
made -mile-long skateable for
mation that is highly reminiscent of
Wallos in Hawaii. P.K. remains
closed-mouthed about the exact
location, but says it's "on an island
in outer Indo." Translation: Indone-
sia. Could it mean Lombok, Timor,
or Sumbawa? Just for drill, on a
recent photo sess expedition to
this skate paradise, C. King's
brother Tono nailed a world class
marlin. All in a day's work? Per-
haps the crew has more answers
than questions?
Scott Starr & Sierra Alvis (above) at the Carpin-
teria High Senior Prom, 1991. Just prove you're
under 21 and you can rob cradles like Scotty boy.
Shep "Hulk Hogan" Ramsey (right) grapples with
his brain trying to understand an explanation of
one of earth's primitive forms of transportation
by neighborhood skaters in the intergalactic
action adventure "Suburban Commando."
94 THRASHER MAGAZINE
Left to right: Sgt. Tony Bell (Oxnard, CA), PFC David O'Dell (Highland Park, CA), and PFC
Kevin Smith (Stone Mountain, GA), display their colors in front of a conquered Soviet
made Iraqi tank destroyed by A-10's near Al Salaman, Iraq, in mid-February, 1991.
Of course the week's funniest
diatribe was launched by some
very obvious types who cloaked
themselves in pseudo-anonymity.
The deal: a vicious screed reveal
ing the evil lord Fausto to be the
low-life scum that everyone knows
he is. Tsk, tsk, tsk, so what else is
new? The fact that you're reading
this only goes to prove the extent
of the dreaded Don's power? For
the record, the spurious document
was sent from Marina Del Rey,
California. Curiously, a major man-
ufacturer from the immediate area
reportedly called up Mr. V and
simultaneously denied any and all
involvement while whimpering for
forgiveness. With so many
friends, who needs enemies?
One man's joke is another
man's Bible.
LEGAL BRIEFS
Which major clothing compa-
ny owner (surf/skate/sail/volley
mass-market queebie crap) is
still allegedly suing the other
owner over purported "fraudu
lent, malicious, and oppres-
sive spite-oriented actions"?
Which surf/skate rag company-
fathered skate company is
rumored to be on the block?
Which skater/company owner
recently split and is rumored to be
suing his former partner over
"accounting inaccuracies"?
Which mega manu looked up
from his bed only to see some off-
duty security guard-type playing
handsies with his trouser snake?
Did Mr. Mega's girlfriend track
down the pervert and have him
arrested? Was the hapless peep-
ing Tom serious when he claimed
to have got his unit stuck in his
zipper "and was only trying to
straighten it out"?
SKATEABOUT
Bruno "Shut" Musso seen
awash in Gotham with Morto,
Chris Lopey, Joe Bowers and
with the ever-so-pumped chest
ultra-vixen Vampira Two, the girl
muscles. The crew allegedly shot
friendly stakes pool while the
assembled collage of cheerlead-
ers, ex-nuns and working women
bumped and ground their way up
on the stage. Did Morton really
pose as a Hollywood producer or
was he just cruising off all that
Rolling Stone ink? Meanwhile, all
quiet on the western front are
Sherman, Johnny C and Swank.
Curiously, an abundance of people
are now taking credit for hooking
up this deluge of limp publicity.
Were the art director and ad direc-
tor of a certain public beach rag
somehow the pimps responsible?
Morto meanwhile allegedly blew
town trans Baja on his bike to view
the eclipse. Bruno is still rolling in
N.Y. Bowers is quietly optimistic and
Vampira is considering a cup size
upgrade. Incidentally, the all-night
Harlem Curb Gang Bubble Banks and
Park Avenue sessions are still talked
about as far away as Roosevelt Island.
UPS & DOWNS
SMOKING
Buddy Carr bought Larry Balma's
crashed Harley. L.B. and Miss Louise
celebrated Mr. Raveras' miraculous
intensive care comeback after being run
over and mauled by a full-sized industri-
al tractor. The tractor
was so wound up, it
pushed a large truck
through a wall while it
dragged the unfortu
nate Mr. R. Best of
luck in your recovery.
The Masters of
Gravity appeared at
the Del Mar Fair-
grounds during the
Southern California
Exposition and rear-
ranged a few people's
thinking on gravity.
The 24' by 11' ramp
was terrorized by an
Question Eleven: Which manu's old
lady stepped down on the porch and fell
through the ceiling to the floor below? As
this is still unanswered, the first correct
response (by picture postcard prefer
ably) wins a plethora of Thrasher Mag
junk including a MoFo autographed
photo of J. Grant Brittain (the ultimate
unlikely skate collectable).
FURTHERMORE
Further rumors relate that the Bones-
men in S.B. are creating a museum in
the P/P complex.
Exhibition One is the
history of skate art or
some such erudite
endeavor.
Steve Keenan,
through a battlefield
promotion, was
brought in to the
SMA board of direc
tors by the Fabulous
Skipperboy Eng-
blom, meanwhile, is
reported in the vicini-
ty of a ramp project
behind a brand new
architectural marvel
in S. Pasadena. Also
on site at times are
the Spence Broth-
ers, Greg Escalante, Sandow Birk,
and Sausage Meyers.
Geometry Skate Zine moves into issue
#4. Is this Oceanside zine somehow
intellectually aligned with the Detters-
edited Zine Indy?
assortment of cultured Roll through San Jose Skatepark on any
oddities who might given day and you will probably find Corey
have included Hawk, O'Brien breaking the rules.
Hassan, Hosol, Way, Miller, Youssef-
pour, Johnson, Staab, et. al. Skate-
master Tate was MC of record. The
Ridge flew in from Europe for the Mas-
ters Expo via his Huntington, VA, high
school reunion where he gained such
accolades as "Best Dressed," "Most
Interesting Job," and "Most Changed."
Anyone who knows Ridgeway knows
he's never changed. Besides, he bor-
rowed the clothes from his brother.
Stranger yet was the alleged Gonz/
Klein/Chatman defection to Ridgeworld.
Perhaps they want to compete in the
"Most Interesting Job" category?
Is Rocco starting a Vietnamese pot-
bellied pig farm at Twin Harbors on
Catalina Island?
Paul Schmitt was caught in Chicago
doing research at a polymer convention.
MEDIA MAUL
Rumored History: Body Boarder Maga-
zine now out? Mignogna read a pre-
The Glug House crew now sports its own Glug tour bus. Watch out!
pared statement prior to the firing of a
half dozen or more unfortunates. Watch
for former pro P.T. Townend to emerge
as the TV commentator of choice in the
Cable Sports World. Will P.T. unify his
skate/surf/media knowledge and run a
series of combo contests as rumored?
The Fletchers (Herbie, Nathan and
Christian) were recently featured in the
New York Times Magazine, which is
about as mainstream as any surf/skate
types have ever gotten. Reportedly inti-
mates from Jonathan Paskowitz to
Phil Edwards to Sammy Hagar to
Bruce Penhald to Flippy Hoffman.
were somewhat mystified.
On the set. Take one, scene one....
Rapmaster Hans Soul drops soul sister
"D" into the deep end... Pool filled....
(On camera), thus ending the Pump It
Up show taping before it really began.
The regroup solution? Philly skate afi-
cionado D.J. Jazzy Jeff takes over with
an impromptu pool deck streetstyle.
skate demo. Also on hand were Ventura
Loco Da Hunster, Fresh Prince, and
Booya Tribe Bro.
Occasional Stacy Peralta skate video
score provider Danny Galton (widely
reputed to be as good as there is in the
world of guitar) showed up on the Letter-
man Late Night show. Some middle age
guy looked mystified/scared. Was he
David Letterman?
QUOTIOUS MAXIMUS
"Since it never happened, we'll just pre-
tend it didn't."
K.T.
"No matter what you call it, a guy in a
dress is still a guy in a dress."
Fausto Vitello
COMING EVENTS
NSA PRO SERIES 1991 (tentative)
Sept. 21-22 Vancouver, Canada Mini-ramp
Oct. 19-20 Houston, TX (Skatepark of Hous-
ton) Shut Up And Skate Vert Street
Nov. 27-31 Valencia, CA (Magic Mountain)
World Champs Vert/Street/Free/Air
Join the National Skateboard Association and
receive a one-year membership card, monthly
newsletter, stickers and discounts at events.
Send $10.00 (check or money order) to NSA,
7555 Red Bud Road, Granite Bay, CA
95661 Ph: 916 791-3720 Fax: 916 791-3722
HASL SERIES
September 28 TBS Street/Free
October 26 Wichita, KS Mini/Vert
Heart of America Skateboard League, 7120 W.
79th St, Overland Park, KS 66204 Ph: 913
341-5233 Fax: 913 642-9771.
FASL SERIES
Oct. 12-13 Ft. Meyers, FL Mini/Vert
Florida Amateur Skateboard League, Box 358,
Sanibel, FL 33967 Ph: 813 395-1165 Fax: 813
396-1177.
CASL SERIES
October 5 Anaheim, CA Free/High Jump
For more info write California Amateur Skate-
board League, P.O. Box 30004, San Bernar
dino, CA 92413 Ph: 714 883-6176.
GUTTER
TALK
The Action Sports
son is upon us and
Trade Show sea
time for The
Trashmen to set
the record straight
on action fashion
in general and
skate fashion in
particular. In the
consumer aware
ness department
we think it is about
time clothing man
facturers examine
the problem
known as the
Jimmy Z Rebate
or the "bagge
every time you sit
down, your change
rolls out the side
of your pockets
and disappears
into the couch or
wedges into the
designers of these
pants must have
thought long and
hard to come up
hap
would facilitate the
dumping of
change. It's not
just one company's
clothing that's at
fault it's everyone
who makes casual
beach wear. All
pants with pocket
openings that run
vertically down the
seam are guaran
teed to dump your
load Rubber band
waist shorts are
especially suspect
For the record
have never seen
this happen with a
pair of Levis or
other trousers with
horizontal pockets
Even the old hand-
me-down Bermuda
shorts with the
clasp closure and
balloon pockets for
storing tennis balls
never lost money
(car keys, combs,
pocket knives
wallets, add losses
here) these
new duds. The way
we figure, you pay
forty clams for a
pair of pants, and
that much again i
a year The Trash-
men feel a semina
regarding this sub-
ject should be held
major rag manus
are invited to
attend, and we get
to sweep the floor
after it's over
95