GEORGE WASHINGTON'S OUTER EAR AT MOUNT
RUSHMORE NATIONAL MONUMENT
An aged political proverb tells that a truly great leader is also a great listener.
George Washington, father of America, axe murderer of an apple tree, was such a
man. Understandably, Georgie-boy's likeness at Mt. Rushmore features an
exquisitely detailed replica of his outer ear, a feature that is especially intriguing to
skaters due to its smooth cement circumference. Legend has it that our first
President's teeth were made out of wood, but thankfully his ears at Mt. Rushmore
were carved from granite.
THE HOOVER DAM
This marvelous achievement of Yankee engineering is a breathtaking spectacle of
sweet concrete. Standing hundreds of cubits tall, the dam's sheer sloping wall and
vertical extensions contain the blue waters of Lake Mead. Many a skater has stared
and slobbered in awe at the thought of sampling this impressive feat lying beneath
his feet. If only this mutha had a little more tranny, a sister dam sitting on the other
side and a nice stretch of flatbottom lying in between.
THE LEANING TOWER OF PISA
Once upon a time, the leaning tower stood straight and tall. She was the pride of
Pisa, an impressive testament to the town's sturdy and upright citizenry. But one
fateful day, some unpious paisano hammered the wheels off his sister's roller skates
and took to committing unsanctified wall rides. After only a few reckless runs, the
heretic succeeded in slamming the building into a listing latitude. The public was
furious with emotion when they saw the damage done. The people's outcries soon
demanded the death penalty for the pagan skater's felonious acts. But then, quite
unexpectedly, the tower's unique inclination brought a torrent of publicity, the likes of
which the tourist trade had never seen. As a result, the forefathers promptly forgave.
forgot and took all the credit, claiming the edifice was built to lean that way anyhow.
48 THRASHER MAGAZINE
DEEP SPACE RADIO TELESCOPE OF
PUERTO RICO
Perhaps the biggest known bowl in the
world, this ultra-tech tool of deep space
exploration holds transitions of mind-
boggling magnitude. Its parabolic shape.
designed to reflect all incoming radio
waves to a central point, is the incarnation
of many a skater's wildest desires. Its
mammoth cycloid dimensions could propel
board riders to test laws of physics that
scientists have yet to discover
GREAT PYRAMID BANKS OF GIZA
No skater could ever doubt that the
ancient Egyptians possessed a truly
advanced and wonderful culture.
Thousands upon thousands of years before
the invention of urethane, these hep cats
were building humongous, kinkless four-
walled banks of unprecedented technical
accuracy. Yeah, maybe the brick surface has
gotten a little worn down with time, but at
least these massive monuments will still
be standing when the termite-ridden
halfpipes of today have all disintegrated
into dust.
TAJ MAHAL BOWL
Talk about plush accommodations, the
Taj Mahal has it all. From diamond
chandeliers to ceilings made of silver to
marble tombs, this travel lodge gets a four-
star rating all the way. Of particular interest
to those with thane on the brain is the
Mahal's luxurious fountains, which are
emptied each April for spring cleaning. The
trannies are regal, the shining coping made
of gold. Just don't get cuffed by the badge-
bearing towel-heads, as the punishment for
trespassing here can be extremely severe.