MISTAKEN IDENTITIES
Seen on the front pages of the Leader-Post
in Lumsden, Saskatchewan: Steve Cabal-
lero and Danny Way. Unfortunately for the
mass media, the two pictured practical jokers
are rolling behind assumed names. Other
Lumsden locals definitely have the inside
scoop. For the record, it's not Chris Taylor.
Say it ain't so. "Two skate sessions with
World Skateboard Champion Per Welinder"
appearing for Swatch and Famous Bass at
the Crestwood Plaza and Northwest Plaza
shopping malls. "Autograph signing and
door prize registration in Swatch Dept. follow-
ing the demonstration. No skateboards in
malls, please." Did Welinder walk through the
demo or are these people a little confused?
So who was the tattooed American Indian
photographer who stunted all growth at the
recent opening of the "Best of the West"
show at the Zero One gallery in Hollywood?
Did the man answering only to Mo actually
Mascots of the Month. Below Left: Your worst night-
mare, Danny and Frenchy from NYC. Photo: B
Thomas. Above: San Diego lensman, pool shark, UPS
graveyard digger and wine connoisseur Joel Cherry
astride his Triumph Trident. Photo: M.Fo.
throw a three-thousand dollar motordrive unit
across the floor to test its impact resistance,
or was he merely clearing a path so that he
could get over to see Robert Williams? Mute
witnesses included Alexander, Anderson,
Ausgang, Semi-Christ, Benjamin, Bert,
Bojorquez, Bortman, Calderon, Clark, Del
Gado, Gadbois, Ganzer, Gash, Gordon,
Gutierrez, Heresy, Holman, Jezewski,
Kohlhofer, Mendes, Mothersbaugh, Pet-
tibon, Du Plenty, Rosenthal, Rude,
Sepulveda, Slocum, Taggart, Vallance,
Watton, Woronov, Zecher and Zenteno. Mo
claimed to be bunking at Hosoi House and
Eve Marlatt, Myrna Schofield and students seize con-
trol of the MHLT Elementary School in Minocqua,
Wisconsin. L to R: Eve, Nathan Baker, Pat Murphy, Jay
Croeplin, Myrna, Josh Leclair, Jeremia Strese, Val
Poling and Tammy Kettler. Photo: Chuck Schaffer
paradoxically denied destroying Hunter S.
Thompson's recent gig at the Belly Up in
Solano Beach. Dettman, who appeared to
be there, won't say anything else here (or
anywhere for that matter). Chip Morton,
Steve Sherman, Tom Cozens, The Fish,
Bostick, Hostetter, Zipperhead Jay, J.
Grant Brittain, Alva, Gunnar Haugo and
Jeff Newton were all alleged to be present
but all categorically deny any and all interest
in such Indian affairs.
Sadder yet-imagine the crime commit-
GSD caught in the act-looking high and low for the
meaning of skate. Photo: Chip Morton.
ted for money. Have Mark Hunt and Nathan
Pratt now moved full time into the fabled big
Pink Motel? Are they really producing a TV
show as alleged or is this the biggest pool
session of the year? People who are alleged
to know the deep end scoop include
Skatemaster Tate, Salba, Mountain Sr.,
Mountain Jr., Nash, Jerry Valdez, Mike
Walsh, Troy Miller, Curb Dog Binder, Monty
Thomulka, Paul Devaleria, Adams, Cab,
Mark Smith, Nick Corea Jr., Balma, Ridge,
Charnosky and Van Dusen. Ancell
pretends not to be involved while an ob-
viously not involved Steve Cathey wears
bladeshades 600 miles south? A customized
complex mini-ramp is fabled to be the latest
addition. Professor Schmitt was last seen
standing on the four-foot mark talking with
the Porta Belt-Phone Boy and Gotham roller
Herb Scannell.
And from our obviously-this-must-be-
funny-if-you're-an-anal-retentive-college-boy
file, consider a cartoon appearing in
Harper's magazine attributed to the
National Law Journal entitled "Life
Without Lawyers." It shows an ap-
parent skate spill complete with the
epic caption, "Hey, no problem." For
the record: the "skater" is wearing a
suit. Perhaps this is the demented
work of Childish, Jones, Coleman or
Spain. Perhaps not. Perhaps the real
joke is how much money some
lawyers make off BS suits or creating
anti-skate legislation for the purported
"public good."
Speaking of practical jokes:
Japanese skater Masanori "Nisi"
Nishioka asks that the jokers who
took two pages of his slides at the
Nude Bowl return them to him care
of this column. Nisi is still laughing?
The Ofallon, Illinois, crew wants to
know if the wipe-out fiends who won
the 10 grand on Totally Hidden Video
got paid, and if so, where are they put-
ting their new half?
The epic Mike Folmer-curated
history exhibition "Skateboard
Mania" continues to astound all
viewers in the Children's Gallery of
the Anaheim, CA museum. Info is
available at 714 778-3301.
QUESTIONS
Which "retired Californian professional
skateboard photographer" claims to have
evidence that Mr. Incredible Ty Page and the
ILD EXON
QUAKER
OATS
100% NATURAL
legendary Tony Jetton are sessioning in the
burbs of Beverly Hills?
Did Eve Marlatt, Myrna Schofield and
students seize control of MHLT Elementary
School in Monocqua, Wisconsin? Was this
a skate-politico act?
Does Santa Clara's Ron Reis, a highly
regarded 7'1" basketball center, actually
enjoy skating more than hoops? Does he roll
every day-the biggest man on campus? Will
he soon convert the NBA?
Are the skaters of Jamesburg, New Jersey,
enduring extreme skate harassment at the
hands of Police Chief Victor Knowles and
his crew? Have Jamesburg officers like
Kevin McCarthy proudly stood upon con-
fiscated skates in poseur-like "heroic"
newspaper photos? Will concerned skaters
like Tricia Miller, Kevin Swinesburg, Darren
Sloat, Jared Cerami and Pete Collura
eventually prevail?
Is Chuck Dinkins the escort of choice for
some particularly up-and-coming bi-coastal
model types?
Is Mike Pullman of Moscow, Idaho, pull-
ing off lipslides in a 4-ton Chevrolet truck?
Are a prestigious Big 5 manu and a prom-
inent European distributor/manu squaring
Above: Del Mar Dukes, left to right: Ivan T., Pineapple off? Was their ever-so-public dispute the talk
and Don Vitello. Above Right: Vallely on Oats. Sub-
mitted by Zak Best of Reno, NV
of the Munich show? Did one c
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