Skarfing
Material
with Chef-Boy-Am-I-Hungry
Welcome to the new decade, dinner-eaters
As I mentioned at the beginning of the Festival
of Muck, prosaic accompaniments are always
welcome with your recipes. Well, a young
skarfer from Berserkeley, California, took that
suggestion to heart, and here's the result...
OBSERVATION
After watching numerous ants and smaller
organisms galavanting on grass and other
ground plant growth, I've noticed that from
their perspective, one particular clump of
grass is the world and the yard around it the
known universe. That's true for them, but
what about us? Our world may be only a part
of the real "world," and what we think of as
the known universe only another part of said
world.
So what is the real world and universe?
Does the perspective just keep getting larger
and larger, or does it end eventually? The
ants I have spoken of may have a society as
complicated as ours and many of our prob.
lems, too: the homeless, pollution, political
corruption, etc. But that whole world could
be wiped out with one well-aimed weed-eater.
In parallel, we may be only ant-sized to
some larger group of organisms, and our little
world could be wiped out by one well-aimed
weed-eater of gigantic proportions.
We know how many clumps of grass con-
taining ant societies there are, but how many
societies exist that are identical to ours?
Societies built on dreams, leadership, low
income housing and more; societies with
salesmen, telephones, used cars and
magazines? Perhaps we're all just another
grass clump in the back yard of the
universe...
OBSERVATIONAL RISSOTO
.1 onion
• 1 cup rice
⚫butter or margarine
2 cups beef or chicken broth
⚫diced tomato (as much as desired)
chopped lettuce (as much as desired)
⚫1 dill pickle, sliced lengthwise into strips
salsa
Put the tort on a plate, lay the dog directly
in the middle, then slap as many pickle slices
as you want on either side. Coat it all with
salsa and nuke it for about a minute. When
the beeper beeps, pull the steamin' weenie
out of the hot-box, add the rabbit food, rolli
it all up and suck it on down. Recipe submit-
ted by Nick Peters of Highland, Indiana.
(optional) tomato paste or whole tomatoes
(optional) thyme, oregano, basil, garlic to taste
Chop the onion vigorously, as our world will
be chopped by the great weed-eater. Melt the
butter in a pan and saute the unfortunate
onion till its remains are a light gold shade.
Mix in the rice, broth and any of the optional
ingredients. The pan should be good and hot
so the broth steams in agony as it is poured
to its doom. Cover the pan and let the
concoction simmer till about ninety percent
of the broth has escaped to the giant soup
bowl in the sky (about fifteen minutes). Keep
the extra five to ten percent here on earth
so the rice won't dry out. However, you can
revive dry rice with a little water. Serve and
munch. If you're feeling creative, put it in a
large cake pan (the round kind with an
elevated tube in the middle), let it mold for
five minutes and turn it over onto a plate of
appropriate size. Recipe and story by Monica
White of Berkeley, California.
GRINGO WEED-EATERITTO
.1 hot dog
• 1 corn tortilla
diced onion (as much as desired)
FUNKY HOT MEDINA
2 shot glasses soy sauce
2% shot glasses vinegar
3 red hot chili peppers
⚫5 dashes Tabasco sauce
sugar (optional)
• 1 apple (sliced)
Mix the first four ingredients in
a bowl (make sure you break open
those chili peppers to let the seeds
mix in). Add some sugar if it's too hot.
Now throw the apple chunks into the i
vicious liquid, slam it all into the fridge.
take five, pull it out and grub. Recipe sub-
mitted by Philip Ines, Kamuela, Hawaii,
BIG BANG PUMPKIN THANG
3 eggs
1 cup sugar
• 1 can pumpkin
•
1 tsp lemon juice
■¼ cup flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
2
tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger
½ tsp salt
½ tsp nutmeg
Preheat your oven to 375° Beat the eggs at
high speed for five minutes while gradually.
adding the sugar. Now whip in the flour and
lemon juice. Sift all the dry stuff together, then
fold that into the wet stuff. Sluff all the stuff
out onto a greased, floured 10" x 15" pan and
lock it in the oven for fifteen minutes. Go slap
the nearest skateable curb. When the time
comes, turn that mother out onto a towel
sprinkled with powdered sugar and roll the
towel and cake up together. After the log
cools for a while, unroll it, add any filling you
desire (powdered sugar, jam, whatever) and
roll only the cake back up. Grab a sharp knife,
slice off some killer spiral discs and stuff your
mug. Recipe submitted by Lynn Burrows of
Dickinson, Texas.
SLOBSERVATIONAL HUMOR
So you've realized the relative insignifi-
cance of your own existence, and you've lost
the will to eat, drink and do laundry. Well, quit
walking around like a total slob in your bat-
ter splattered old rags. Make a suave, stylish
addition to your wardrobe for just a few
bucks-buy a new Skarfing Material T-shirt.
Send $13.45 to: Thrasher Muck-T, PO. Box
884570, San Francisco, CA 94188-4570.
O
WITH
SKIN DEEP
FRED SMITH
Thunder
P.O. BOX B84413 5.F., CA 94188.
SEND $1.00 FOR STICKER AND INFO