WRASH
ON BOARD
ALL QUESTIONS, NO ANSWERS
Landmark moves-Can it be true that
veteran surrealist Reese Simpson is mov-
ing on following an all-expenses paid tour of
the Sandwich Isles?
Did Lance Mountain actually end up
owing the Internal Revenue Service the most
money in the world of pro skating? How can
millionaires pay less taxes than the ever
honest hard-working Lance?
Does Swedish skater turned entrepreneur
Per Holknekt now control approximately
80% of his native nation's skate market as
rumored? Does Holknekt still skate on luxury
turbo-charged car hoods?
After one of the most celebrated battles.
over ramp legality in history, the Bolinas, CA,
half-pipe of Ivory and
Shelter Serra was
bulldozed into scrap
by the city amid
cheers from the local
122
whiners who
opposed it and
cries of "foul" by the
twin's famous father, at-
torney Tony Serra. Al-
though the ramp is gone, we
have a feeling that this one is not
over yet.
Which high-powered manufacturer
recently told a top street skater that he
should switch over to his company's
wheels or else? Is it true that Mr. Manu also
told him there is no money to be made in
signature model board sales? Did another
manu actually sell 5,600 boards while the
same street boy only got paid for 3,200 or
so? Is the moral of this story "When I get
paid, you get paid?" Is the sub-plot here that
the street rider is just a pawn in the biggies'
game of industrial/political machinations?
Are certain factions intent on controlling all
the action?
Which manu (or manus) have
been quietly considering purchas-
ing Homegini rag? In the future will
all serious industrial contenders
buy their own media outlets?
Are Ivan Hosoi, Christ and
Block being invited back to Japan
to do more public art? Is this the
same art that is referred
to as graffiti back in
Venice, California?"
Is Dillo Skatepark in Austin
the newest center of the uni-
verse down in Texas? Are wooden bowls the
newest standard of economical park
construction?
Does Mr. Big actually drop over ten grand
a month on rent?
Has custom car king Chuckie Barfoot
been asked to design more one-off snow.
vehicles for next season's car show circuit?
Is Barfoot designing a skate car (complete)
with 14K gold-plated board racks) as widely
rumored in Ventura, CA?
Have certain esoteric West Coast skaters
set up a massive grand prix slot car con-
course in their pleasure palace? Is not an
unspoken of ramp also nearby? Are Sarge
Carter and Joe Bowers knowledgeable in
these matters?
Has Jeff Grosso been
knighted again with the
Counterclockwise from.
Top Left: Poul Schmitt
swan dives out of his new
remote control Lear Jet.
Ivory & Shelter Serra atop
the now defunct Bolinas
ramp Vince Kiyn shows
proper sushi chef form in
the new movie Cyborg.
Jim Murphy wonders. Big
boy Biscuit art. Stylin
beehive haircut in Hi
illustrious title, "Las
Vegas Limelight for
his ability to shine under any and all cir-
cumstances?
From Left: Joe Lopes
pinches Steve D.'s
head off at Streets on
Fire premiere. Mac,
Mojer, Novak, Kim &
Denike smugly mug.
Ray, Mike & Carla are
really famous now.
Carl West imposter who had his lip bitten and
Is Allen Losi being highly touted as a key blood drawn by an aggressive Polynesian
acquisitor and embryonic mogul?
Has Chip Morton begun radiation treat-
ment as several star-crossed teary-eyed
oceanfront-sub-terranean-ramp-thrash wen-
ches have claimed? Or is Mr. Mort-O actually
bald-headedly shave-ice-worshipping Kwai
Chang Cain?
Was not one Richard Novak actually seen
running full speed out of a restaurant in
Honolulu, Hawaii? Did his sudden departure
have something to do with
sticking Big Mac with the bill?
Is Dickvak considering relo-
cating to the sleepy island of
Molokai? Is this not where the
lepers go (went)? What was
Richard doing in notorious
dives such as Saigon Passion
and Butterfly Two? Was Mr.
Dick somehow involved in the
bizarre plot to apparently
discredit the editor of a promi-
nent slick zine? Who was the
Gulf
dancer? Who were the phony Steve Sher-
man, Cue Ball and Mark Hostetter imitators
who attempted to give first aid to the obvious
impostor? Was this all a pathetically trans-
parent dodge to attain free drink status using
stolen press-pass credentials?
Was David MacIntire toasted by an
assembly of blue-blooded Hawaiians recent-
ly in the Haiedulani Lounge? Is it possible that
Mac convinced the natives that Mofo was a
Polynesian prince from Nihau?
Was Mr. Mac at the H. Lounge
to jam on steel guitar with the
legendary Jerry Byrd? Did
Japanese women with beehive
hairdos offer big bucks for
photo opportunities with the
Hawaiian prince?
Was Mr. I playing dumb
when he walked off with Mr.
Z's rare 1927 National Steel
Spanish neck guitar for a mere
pittance? Were accompanist
players Steve Olson, Mr. Max,
Vincent Klyne, Lowboy and
Bolton Colburn all neutral in
the endeavor? Or has Ganzer
gone philanthropist?
Is skateboarding banned
forever in Sonoma, CA, or is a class action
pro skater's rights suit in the offing no mat-
ter what the city council does? Are Chris
Schnabel, Jeff Hadden, Corey Bender,
Rachel Marsden and Chris Bender turning
into skate/political activists?
Has Robert McGinley actually created a
video dealing with skateboarding and Greek
mythology? Are government grant czaritza
Judith Teitelman and mega-major film/Video
THRASHER
SWEEPSTAKES
IT'S OFFICIAL
Yes, it is The three lucky subscribers
mentioned in Trash last month as winners
of our sweepstakes have been confirmed.
John J. Mohr of Eigin, L won a 250
buckaroo Savings Bond. Jon Vasuari of
Easton, PA cleaned a 500 clam Bond.
Our grand prize winner Brian K. Baur of
Spokane, WA, scammed 2,500 frogskins
in the form of a U.S. Savings Bond, which
he can put in the bank and be for col
lege education someday (or a big ole
double-wide half-pipe in his backyard)
Congratulations, boysle
producer and popular periodical writer Aleric
"The Script is in the Mail Valentin
somehow involved?
You've seen him ripping Pearl City, Hl, poor
as a youngster and surfing the best waves
with the big boys. Now, Vincent Klyn is step-
ping up to the big screen as Fender Tremolo
in the feature film Cyborg.
Were any of the above personages actually
observed crawling from the Cactus Club
premiere of the latest Santa Cruz vid, Streets
on Fire? Was it actually closed down by
wannabe police when Fat Mac bared his
chest in public? Were Corey, his girlfriend.
and other highly notorious S.J. types in front
of Club Cactus when local lawmen started
a roundup? Did outstanding warrants yield
incarceration for many present? (Did Bod.
Boyle actually call in this month's Step-By-
Step column from a phone booth where he
was attempting to post $3,000 cash bail?)
Were Denike, Gavin, Piumarta, Natas,
Thiebaud, Lopes, Jesse, Fabriquer,
Douglas and Steve Thatcher also seen in
the vicinity?
Were NSA headmen Don Bostick and
Tom Cozens observed hanging in S.F. with
Mr. Mo, Old Grandad and Don Fausto?
Did the Ski Industries of America trade
show in Las Vegas, Nevada, feature the latest
in fashionable polyester après snowboard
attire? Isn't Las Vegas in the middle of a
desert where it never snows?
Have former Texas skate betties Susan
Ferris and Barbara Bausman turned into
fast rising record execs? Were not the two
seen moguling up with Herb Alpert, Mickey
"Starship" Thomas, Moon Unit Zappa,
Cory Haim, Cory Feldman, Alysa Milano,
123