RASH
To reinforce those persistent rumors
regarding our absolute lack of taste and
decency, we will now briefly allude to the
recent Action Sports Retailer trade show. In-
side, just past those menacing "No Skate-
boarding Allowed" signs, two guys claim-
ing to be T-Bo and Guerrero hammered
insults with the security hog. Meanwhile,
Tall-Dog had to sneak Spidey in with Jay
Shuirman's badge. Dickvack pounded
gold polyethelene pyramids in the Powell-
Peralta booth while Titus searched for
product. Stacy P. and BeVad denied any
involvement in the garment biz, yet wore
odd looking P/P dress shirts. The effect was
sort of Jerry Mahoney meets Queen
Liliokalani and they both go to downtown
Hacienda Heights. Chip Morton shame-
lessly promoted the Limpies Bikini (A Bic
razor and a string of dental floss) while he
torqued down his nipple ring. Tracker Larry
displayed cool, clinical detachment, though
he refused to deny his entry into the world
of bicycles. Monster Island erupted with a
live band that for brief seconds featured
Steve Steadham on drums. The original
Johnny Monster aka Kona bowlster
Johnathan Paskowitz lurked in the shadows
with Herbie Fletcher, who was handing out
comics. Founder of the industry and the
someplaces/sometimes acknowledged in-
ventor of the kicktail, Larry Stevenson
worked the Poweredge booth, which was
packed next to a for-sale VW. Fat Mac look-
ed what else? Lucero appeared ready to
strangle Rocco, who apparently was out
dredging up dirt for his gossip column in
some other zine. Grigley handed out limited
edition shirts of his own design. Bill Tocco
was lean and clean and looks very much
to be a big part of G&S future. Rusty
Preisendorfer, Henry Hester and Bob
Skoldberg gave Little Buddy scholarly,
fatherly advice. Todd Hastings swam the
length of the Queen Mary beverage facility.
Natas walked the show five times in an ap-
parent effort to shave I.Q. points so that he
could better relate to the unwashed masses
of surfing. Shawn Stussy was viewed in a
rather heated discussion of Hip Hop culture
with a former New York State Hospital art
consultant (and Avenue B resident) and
once prominent artist who now owes
everybody money. Ganzer and Sep had a
film crew, led by the infamous Darrin, docu-
ment local ramps as well as the Vince
Klyne, Tammy, Hackett, Tate, Eveready
Eddie and Jimmy Z fashion show. Ivan
Hosoi dispensed economic aesthetics.
while Christ rode off into the night with a
way too beautiful model. Matt Etheridge
appeared to be in a new band, while
BILLBORED OF THE MONTH
By now the eyes of every skate rat in L.A. county have bugged after seeing this
Nike billboard featuring JT (John Thomas) flying a pop tart on Sunset strip in H-wood.
Can big bucks shoe money put skating over the top?
Beware record exec B. Ware appeared to
be on his way to a record pressing. Eric
Swenson was mistakenly identified as
Magnum. He blamed his rayon aloha shirt.
Thatcher displayed his prodigious intellect
while Squire Sin outclassed the field. Billy
Ruff masqueraded as a shoe salesman
while Neil Blender remained so low key as
to be virtually invisible. Larry Bertelman,
Bronze Age's Mr. Mike, Jay Adams, Paul
Constantineau and Rob Roscophf were
conspicuously brave in the slider/grind ses-
sion at the Hyatt. Other bandit skaters such
as Dressen, Schmelzer, Meek, Bowers
and Fitzpatrick rode their eight wheels
hard. Jim Muir, the Dogtown industrialist,
was again banned, or so the rumors go. Is
it now a crime to be a threat to the status
quo? The Fabulous Skipper Boy confound-
ed all with his astute disertations on supply-
side economics. Apart from all of this, how
was the show? Well, legions of surf ragmen
and garment district types perpetually knelt
in homage to Louis B. Dorfman. Other
money men marvelled at the resiliency of
the skate industry. Translation: Look out for
more wannabe skate clothing companies
and another invasion of toy men from
Taiwan or someplace the same. Extraor
dinary courage amidst the shoals of com-
merce was displayed by Metiver as he troll-
ed for riders using the big dollar live jig as
SKATER PROFILES
The most recognizable profile in
skateboarding, Rob Roskopp's, goes
under the charcoal treatment in Athens,
Greece during the Thrasher Eurotour last
summer. If you guessed the other gag
toons as Cab and Lance, you're...well,
you figure it.
bait. SK8 Hard-ware magnate Welinder
shared individually wrapped Reese's Peanut
Butter Cups with several thousand of his
closest friends. Rumor tells of yet another.
trade show next week in Atlantic City, or was
it last week? Can sane skaters survive the
onslaught?
RUMORS
Kevin Staab is rumored to be sporting a
new convertible BMW.
Knee gasket exec Ray Underhill is
rumored to be forming a bluegrass combo
(not a lip trick).
Allan Seymour, organizer of the legend-
ary Catalina Classic downhill race, is rumored
to be creating a vintage equipment contest
(i.e. boards, trucks, correct shoes, correct
wheels, correct clothes, etc.)..
The infamous Zephyr organization, led by
cryptic designer Jeff Ho, is rumored to be
active.
Father of the year-Mr. Borst, the man
who fought City Hall tirelessly to defend his
ramp and his son's right to skate, is rumored
to be sporting a new heart, after a massive
operation. Word is he's doing well!
Rex Kay is rumored to be featured in the
upcoming Michael Jackson video.
David Lee Roth and crew are rumored to
be sporting fresh Skate Rags in an upcom-
ing vid. So what is this, Sub-Def Power Metal
Meets The Concrete Crusader?
Is there life after Chin? Ted "Shred" Levy,
editor of a prominent skate video, is now
rumored to be the man in editland. Just off
the new Sting project, Ted is rumored to be
cutting the aforementioned Michael
Jackson video. Will Levy construct another
of his studio ramps and session with Quin-
cy Jones, M.J., Herbie Hancock and The
Drunk Injuns?
Also rumored to skate, Danny Pintauro of
some TV. show called Who's the Boss?.
Frank Hawk, the N.S.A., the Boy Scouts
of America and Does 1-10 Inclusive are
rumored to be creating a civic-minded skate
park in Linda Vista, California.
Tracker Larry, in an unrelated develop-
ment, is rumored to have flown architect
Louise Ravera to San Francisco, rented her
a limo and given her a chop top Mazda con-
vert for Valentine's Day. The Love Machine
then drove down to a certain mid-Calif. ramp
which rumor relates Mr. Balma may buy as
a present for the Oceanside Boys Club.
Chris Miller is more than rumored to be
a Schmitt-ophile. Hester is rumored to be
selling Paul a G&S advertising spot already
featuring Miller.
And in a legal precedent setting maneuver,
the ramp located at "The Ten Shitty Guys'
House' in Urbana, Illinois, has been sold by
ON BOARD
the owner of the ramp, Randy Gawlik.
Rumor has it that the sale will effectively foul
up any and all legal actions being perpe-
trated/contemplated by the Urbana Building
Safety Division. The ramp is now rumored
to be set up in a semi-secret barn. Street
rumor hints of skate harassment being the
cause of the problems.
Ace Limpster Chip Morton is rumored to
be falling out with a lingere line. Rumor states
that several of the skate sport's most promi-
nent and daring Romeos have test driven
models who were wearing...err, maybe we
should just drop this one. What's next,
watches that tell time in dog years? Fake ID's
that say you're twelve so you can get into
movies for half price? Rumor has Morton
cutting sides with Borracho-y-Loco and the
Bonedaddies.
Rodney is rumored booted out of the
house while Mrs. Sophie is alleged to be
working for the S.M.A. Rocco Division.
Larry Gordon is rumored to be doing his
own sore-back therapy by rolling on 62mm
Bam Bams (95A).
Is the ever-mobile manager of Chris Miller
rumored to be pitching Mister Miller for a
pro surfing career?
Shane Rouse, Denny Riordan and Tim
Morris are names that rumor relates are on
the cutting edge of new wave freestyle.
QUESTIONS
Are more than one truck manufacturer not-
so-secretly developing wheel lines?
Will Peanut Brown sign with NY-based
Def Jam records? Is Glen Friedman
involved?
Is Dead Dog Tour Two a reality? Will
Anarchy Jammer, Pat Clark and King Penn
all conspire?
Is Paul Wisnouski building a beyond Hell
Ramp someplace in his grandfather's forest
in Minnesota? Does he send the plan via
computer over thousands of miles?
Is Groholski doing what everybody thinks
he's doing?
Does Joe Bowers have graphics and
shapes in production by 3 different manus?
Is Joe a very rich man? Is the existence of
his 200 mph go-kart an exaggeration?
Did Todd Hastings get run over by a
runaway truck going backwards?
Did G.S.D. total two cars on the way to a
shoe sale at a shopping mall?
MORE VILE SLIME
Another ramp pro soon? Mike Crescini is
going to be negociating with big wigs at
Vision.
Jesse M. and Eric Dressen haven't street
skated for three and a half weeks. They've
been terrorizing vert, so all vert guys watch
Here is a boyhood photograph of one
of today's top professional vertical
skaters. Can you guess who he is?
Hint: Think Burt Reynolds' movie..
out because they mean business. Street
guys, here's your chance to catch up.
Join the hayride...Reebok has "re-
designed"-I stress the word-a skateshoe.
Their last one was a flop, even though it sup-
posedly took three million in research to
make it.
Salba and Heavy Friends have been prac-
ticing a lot. Which will happen, a new sound-
track for a Santa Cruz video or a contract with
Beware Records?
Duane Peters started a new punk band
with "O" on guitar, D.P. on vocals, Mark
(Vision) on drums and Ricky Barnes on bass.
It's called Nude Reality.
Sessions have been goin' down in Rag-
ing Waters' empty pools. Get the idea?
Lance's ramp is metal, the only one in
CA. It's purple! Lance has also hurt his knee
and is re-habing as I write this. Lance has
also, at last, done his own graphics to break
the Powell chain.
Salba is NHS's new team motivater-to-
motivate the riders to shred or to watch over
Grosso?
John Lucero, rich to richer, now owns a
clothing company called Luc (pronounced
"loose") Overactive Wear.
QUOTES
"If I wasn't here, I'd be somewhere else."
Rob Roskopp
"Sometimes I get so confused, I feel like I'm
blowing up an inflatable animal over and over
and over...
Chip Morton
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