ARASH
94
RUDIMENTARY ROMANCES
The Gonz, whom was last seen hanging
on the boardwalk at Atlantic New Jerssey
with Art Harris, George Powell, Frances
L. and Jeremy Henderson, has now disap-
peared again? According to Rocco (who ran
from his apartment building four times fear-
ing an earthquake) an alleged phone call
to "supermodel" Christy Turlington
regarding a picnic caused Gonzales to im-
mediately return to NYC with his basket in
hand. Is Gonz thinking of permanently
locating in New York City? In recent weeks
Mark has been feverishly sessioning such
esoteric Gotham skate spots as the Harlem
banks, the Brooklyn Bridge, the Grand Cen-
tral bank and the new multi-million dollar
Equitable center marble curbs. Brad Dorf-
man, also in the area, was rumored to have
just obtained a complete edition of serigraph
prints of Mick Jagger by Andy Warhol.
Henry Hester passed on the New York ses-
sions in favor of the Virginia Beach contest.
Jimmy'Z Ganzer was allegedly observed
doing rail transfers downtown with primor-
dal Kona Bowl local Johnathon Paskowitz.
It seems that one thing Steve Rocco is
not talking about these days is his strange
ritualized activities at SMA. Question One:
Is Natas an owner? Question Two: Which
Mr. Bigbucks Bigwig manu is quietly trying
to court SMA favor? Question Three: Is
Rocco paying for and producing his own
airline and going direct? Question Four:
Which NSA stalwart is heavily rumored to
be close to joining the Airline crew? Ques-
tion Five: Has Skipperboy retired to Baja
to skate/surf with Chuy Madrigal? Question
Six: Is Rocco in charge or merely insane?
Rocco's quote: "I had no idea how much
money they made 'til I did it myself."
Tennessee Robert Taylor's recent win at
Virginia Beach is turning him into one of the
more talked about men around town.
Although rumor has it that a lot of the East
Coast lokes don't like the ramp and some
didn't even skate because of harsh weather.
Of course, then there is the legendary
talent of Tony Chiala, whom Mysto O refers
to as "God."
Amidst the great California drought more
pools are opening daily. Much rumored
water rationing seems close at hand. Vir-
tually all pipes and ditches are on the dry
side. Stranger yet: Anheuser-Busch (large
scale brewers and billionaires) are rumored
to have purchased Cabin Bar Ranch,
allegedly to obtain water to make beer. With
NEW CEMENT BEING POURED EVERY DAY
Although it looks a bit rough around the edges, this open-pit/con-
struction site looks highly skateable, if not highly illegal. Hard hats required.
the CB lake
down, rolling
days seem as-
sured at the
beyond mortal
aquaduct. Word
has it that des-
ert cop harass-
ment around
the water ditch
may drop with
the receeding
water level.
Rumor: Allan
Ollie Gelfand,
pioneer of no-
handed aerials,
is rumored to be
looking for a
Formula One
sponsor. Appar
ently his much-
documented
National Go-
cart champion-
ship and recent
high Formula
Ford placing
have forced
the gear up.
Gelfand is
reportedly being
leaked skate
equipment via
Team Todd.
Word has it that Mr. Frank Hawk is plan-
ning on retiring from the helm of the NSA.
With Big Frank's departure who will reign
as king? Handicapper King Spide lists the
following hopefuls from the November
primaries: Ms. Catalano, Novak, Fausto,
Larry Balma, Barry Z., Peralta and Don
Hoffman. Who will it be?
Steve Douglas model said to be in the
works. Ditto for Demain. Eric Nash reported
to have a new model out. In celebration, we
hear Eric has bought a new ramp.
And if you needed any further proof what
firemen do on their day off? Vicious innu-
endo rumors indicate that a new mag known.
as Power Edge is coming out down Madrid
way. No word yet as to if/when the Gullwing
Truck Company will produce a skate mag.
Earthquake damaged Mountain Manor
continues to thrive. House beams are being
replaced and Mr. Dad's glass showcases
are being repaired. Fortunately Lance's
ramp fared better than either his or his dad's
house. Lance responded to the disaster by
going to Japan with Cab.
Is it true that Tracker Larry got so freaked
by recent quake aftershocks that he now.
lives in a tent on the deck of his cliff-side
house?
And from our "It's fun to be in com-
mericals" file: Which skater-run company
appeared to be flying his own booth at a
recent trade show? Curiously, a much larger
manufacturer simulatenously claimed to be
the man in charge.
And now for a public service announce-
ment, in reference to the Rocco-generated
(who else?) quote regarding Vallely's
alleged drinking of a bottle of window
washing fluid on the Hell Tour: Apparently
Mike's Mom read this in our less-than-
credible column and understandably
became quite upset. What can we say but,
"Mom, Mike loves you and would not ever
do such a illogical thing."? Further com-
mentary to mothers of all persuasions:
Never believe anything you read in this
column. It's called Trash for a reason.
Is the fabulous Glen E. Friedman now
doing advert work for Groholski?
Furthermore, is the Jersey Devil plan-
ning a big move? Much talk recently has
surrounded the Glen/Tom collaboration..
Will the Devil sign a rap pact with Def Jam
Records?
The Fallbrook ramp has been the scene
of feverish sessioneering. Hawk and McGill
cut quite the lines. J. Grant documented
what may be the highest inverted spin ever.
Other talk relates to Gotcha's purported
construction of a 72-foot wide half-pipe at
an undisclosed Costa Mesa location.
Question Again: Has Chip Morton
deserted the rag trade in favor of the life of
a photo documentarian? Weird tales from
Texas tell of Limpyman and Dan Wilkes
attacking a giant plaster reptile with animal
bones.
Phillips is rumored to be on tour and on
fire. Tommy Groholski said to be on same
flame.
Christ is rumored to be the desired boy
of a certain multi-million dollar clothing types.
Will Hosoi opt for his own clothing line with
Company Z or will he design for Company X?
Mr. Caballero has joined the cut-down
ramp ranks by chopping and channelling
his San Jose home ramp. Following Raging
Waters sessions it is said that backyard action
on Steve's ramp was exceedingly big time.
Other distressing info tells of the latest hard-
core Cab fan club. To join you need.
appropriate Caballero tattoos and a desire
to exceed all specifications.
Surf and Turf joins the ranks of re-opened
skate parks. Rumor tells of a wooden annex
in the works to augment the existing perfect
bowls.
Down Oz way, the concrete ramp in the
mountains builty by ex-patriate yank John
causes much commentary. Family types
Judy, Josh and John shred the concourse
in an extreme manner. In addition to the
aforementioned six-year-old Australian talent,
other rippers down under include Gary
Nolan, Darren Burford, 10-year-old Chad
Bartle and the highly regarded Jamie Bar-
tie. Also often observed hauling a ramp
around the Gold Coast regions is Dave
Bartie.
Is G&S founder considering a career in
radio journalism? On a recent Roger
Hedgecock radio show Mr. G. answered
such arcane beach trivia as "When do the
grunyon run?" Hedgecock, by the way, is
the former mayor of a prominent beachside
community. Are there also politics in Larry's
future? His recent pro skate activism in the
San Diego area have caused many to
speculate about such possibilities.
Joe Bowers, of Skate Rags, is reputed to
be in the process of organizing a go-cart club.
Word tells of 7 carts and 7 unnamed drivers
to all be club members.
Ed Reategui confounded all in Long Beach
with his ping pong diplomacy.
And from our bandwagon jumping cate-
gory: Who else but our latest prime-time big
media convert but old J.R. Larry Hagman?
According to co-star Patrick Duffy, "You
never know what to expect from Larry, but
this is one sport which keeps him in a good
mood!" Oddly enough, before Larry
became so famous he used to be seen with
hard-core skate bros such as Bobby Horner
and John Kie-
wit localizing.
such under-
ground spots as
Malibu's Colony
Market. How
typical of mass
media types to
assign credence
to an everyday
act like Larry's
rolling.
Pine Tree Cult-
ist Tanya In-
diana is sporting
heavy industry
promo for Pine
Tree air fresh-
eners. Will the
Repo man re-
turn to the
Brickyard?
Blender and
Chris Miller are
reported to be
to
venturing
California's Pat-
terson full pipe
(sixteen miles
and half-pipe
from Modesto).
The Cedar
Molten Metal
Crest Ramp, aka
Ramp, was
destroyed by a
gang of yo-yo
hippies with pro-
pane torches. A
newer metal
FROM THE ARCHIVES
ON BOARD
Now that Ms. Jody Foster has graduated from college and is mount-
ramp is being this photo of the shrine to Jody Foster that Brian Brannon, lead loud-
ing a fierce come-back to the silver screen, we felt it was time to release
created near
Reston, VA.
After a recent.
move north,
Jawhn Dett-
man is rumored to be working behind bars.
Now that Detters has been located on
Alcatraz as a tour guide, is an ex-penal col-
ony skate saga in the works?
man of JFA (Jodie Foster's Army) has erected in his bedroom. Brian's.
quote: "Jody, it's not too late, please don't get married." Well, Jody,
if you're reading this, how about a current glam photo of you skating.
Good Luck.
WORD GAMES
We received many entries for our October
1987 Puzzler, "How Many Words Can You
Make from the Letters in THRASHER?" The
top entries were verified with the 1982
edition of the American Heritage Dictionary.
Proper nouns, abbreviations and foreign
words didn't count. Winners are: Vincent
Chavez of Colorado Springs, CO, 106 words,
Rad Bones Warrington of Elkton, MD, 105
words, Rob Wolfe of Huachuca, AZ, 103
words, Karla Brouseau of Herndon, VA, 98
words. These astute lexicologists will each
receive a t-shirt for their fine work.
QUOTES
"We own the wheel market, and you can
quote me."
Santa Fats Macintyre
"They went to Magic Mountain to give head
to pigmies."
Jeff Grosso
"Man, it's a VW. It's old."
(After smashing guardrail at 15 mph)