68
PRO-SHOWS
Limited
"PROMOS" "DEMOS" and "CAMEOS"
FOR PROMOS
UN-SPONSORED PRO
NEW EVERYTHING FOR 87
LYNWOOD, CA. 90262
805-541-5468
P.O. BOX 128
for MAGrag send dollar
Tom Burt slips past a gate with a helpful bump
of body English.
Snowboarding Classic. And descend they
did, in force.
Pros, amateurs, men, women and juniors
came by any means possible, from every
boarding hot spot in the world-from the
East, the West, Canada, Europe and even
Australia. Some came with their minds on
winning, some with their minds on the par-
ties, some with no minds at all. But all with
a will to board.
This is the second year that Swatch has
sponsored the World Classic at Brecken-
ridge, and this year things were better than
last. Most things anyway. Witness two
typical registration scenarios:
1-2:30 pm: In line for registration at 3:00.
3:30 pm: Stay in line for 3:00 registration.
3:35 pm: Move to waiting room to wait
and register.
3:45 pm: Wait to register.
3:46 pm: Get a glass of water.
Complimentary.
4:20 pm: Begin to register.
"Yes ma'am, I sent my money in by
mail...What do you mean a $60 bib
deposit? I came here with enough money
for a cheeseburger and a pint of Cuervo,
not even a liter...A credit card? Me have
a credit card? I can't get a line, let alone
a line of credit...Yes, I've got a driver's
license, but if I leave it here I won't be able
to buy my pint of Cuervo. Why the hell
didn't you tell us before that we needed
a $60 deposit for a cheezy bib just because
it says Swatch all over it! I'm sorry, ma'am,
I realize you're only doing your job. Will
anyone here spot me a deposit on their
credit card?! Hey, thanks, I really appreciate
it. Want to drink some tequila later?"
2-2:30-4:20 pm: (same as scenario #1).
"No, ma'am, I need to pay now...Hold
on, why do I get a paper bib? What quali-
fying race? You mean I've got to qualify to
race, because I didn't send in my money
ahead of time? Top twenty out of 150
amateur men? Oh, what the hell, for three
days of boarding and a t-shirt I guess it's
a good deal anyway...Only two days of lift
service? Oh well, that's still cool."
But one thing must be added here: the
hassle and time-consuming registration did
pay off because there were very few screw-
ups. Racers knew what was going on. And
instead of wasting more of everyone's time
with a racer's meeting, all the info was on
a simple, easy-to-read, inedible fact sheet.
The three days of competition began on
Friday with Giant Slalom. The race organ-
izers followed the FIS International Ski
Competition Rules, including that oh-so-
stiff rule on bibs. Shaun Palmer nearly got
disqualified for slipping the course with
the bib duct-taped around his leg instead.
of on his chest. No slacking on those rules.
Those who didn't pre-register ran a quali-
fying run on Country Boy in the morning.
Those who made the cut (top ten women
and pro men, top twenty juniors and
amateur men) advanced to the real race on
American, a much steeper and faster.
course. For those who didn't qualify there
was a consolation race. For most, however,
the consolation race was not as attractive
as walking the half-pipe, getting shready
for Sunday or freeboarding the 1,460 acres
of Breck's three connecting peaks.
Probably the most important change in
rules from last year's competition was the
instigation of combined-times scoring. This
put added pressure on each run because
riders couldn't use their first run to warm-
up, then go all out on their second. It was
all-out on both runs-with no blow-out on
either. This method of judging the com-
bined times was a great improvement over
the "best of two runs" method since it put
the fastest consistent riders where they
ought to have been: at the top.
Despite the FIS rules, this was no ski race.
Very few come to snowboard contests with
a "kill-the-competition" attitude. Every-
one's goal is to have fun, see the latest in-
novations, and meet friends, new and old..
For most, racing was second to boarding.
After the races, the Copper Top bar at the
base of Peak Nine was the meeting place.
Boarding was the topic of conversation.
"Have you seen the new Wintersticks?"
"Those dudes from Gnu are ripping!"
"There are two new boarding magazines
coming out next year?"
"Releasables will never take over
completely."
"Hey, dude, there's a party at the Village
Condos, number 404, Team Purgatory"
"You did what to her on the top of
Loveland Pass? With your boards on?"
"Hey, you guys want to go to dinner?
Business expense? Don't worry about it, we
can all fit in our Jeep Cherokee...Have any
of you ever seen a set of U-joints explode?"
The rpm's climb to redline and BLAM! into
gear. "Don't worry, it's a rental car. I'll just
bitch them out for giving me a shitty car
and get another one tomorrow. Let's go to
the party."
Village Condo number 404 was com
pletely packed with snowboarders and
skaters. Everyone was there, including the
cops, who must have been having a good
time since they kept coming back. Team
Cuervo was circulating, trying to recruit
new riders for their team. Cuervo riders
don't necessarily have to be good riders.
In fact, they don't even have to board at all,
as long as five consecutive shots from the
bottle don't phase them. At least not
immediately.
Those, or rather that one, who passed the
initiation with flying colors, passed-out
with flying colors. The many colors of Zinka
which were applied to his face while un-
conscious (thank you, Bob Klein) would
have given the captain of the Cuervo team
a distinct sun-block advantage for Sunday's
half-pipe-had he gotten up for it, that is.
"Hey, you guys-you'd better get up.
We've got to check in for the half-pipe in.
ten minutes."
"Shut up, dude, we've still got an hour
to sleep."
"Don't 'dude' me, dude-Daylight.
Savings Time."
"SHIIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!" The motivation for
a waking state of consciousness quad-
ruples involuntarily. Adrenalin becomes
the antidote for alcohol poisoning.
This was the day that the hot riders got
to show off all they had and get credit for
it. As with all judged snowboard events,
there were many complaints. "Why did he
get in the finals and not me?" But with as
many competitors as there were, things
went smoothly, except for a huge snowball
fight that broke out between spectators on
opposite sides of the pipe. Out of those
who entered, 10 women, 15 pro men, 10.
juniors, and 15 amateur men were chosen
for the finals.
"But why didn't Terry Kidwell ride?"
"I heard he got too wasted last night and
was too hungover to compete."
"I heard his feet hurt him from riding too
much."
"I'll bet he just didn't want to get beaten.""
To set the record straight: he just didn't
want to ride.
After the half-pipe event there was a
huge dinner and awards banquet for all the
competitors. There was even a slide show
with pictures from the weekend. But no
one could stick around for the band that
was playing that "crazy rock and roll." No
one wanted to. Planes to catch and scams
to be scammed on one last time took
priority. Besides, it was time to get ready
for next year.