DO
10.
Skarfing
Material
with Chef-Boy-Am-I-Hungry
Reese Simpson
Eventually our hero pulled up in front of
the house, a house as dark as the starless
August night sky.
He had a gun. Of course he had a gun,
these days every finger is a weapon. Even
the simple kiss.
Quieting his engine, he put out his
cigarette and glanced with his good eye. No
visible movement. Welcoming it, he
detested it. Thoughts of a volunteer with a
thirst for danger. After seven holy wars, why
shouldn't he think that way? His kind didn't
survive very long by luck alone. No, his type
forced survival.
Taking half a breath, he loaded his
weapon. This time he was gonna try to get
the job done with only two rounds and one
for "just in case." He wanted another
cigarette but knew the match and fresh
cherry would blow his sacred scene. He
rammed the third round home, breathed
hard through his nose like a valve passing
a fuel mixture, and thought of one of the
many loves of his past. She was the only
one he cared to remember..
It was during the Second Alliance Con-
flict, the one remembered as the Fourth
Holy War. He met her as he conquered her
land. She just didn't care anymore, and
neither did he. The foundation for six dozen
nights of lust and sweat. In his heart the pic-
ture unfolds. Its worn creases, rolling
through the memories so old, made him feel
like he never felt before. Never thought he'd
find love in the middle of a war.
Silent steps crept up behind him, on the
side of his bad eye. He never had the
surgery to make that bad eye see. Instead,
he wanted to sharpen his senses. Now his
senses kicked in just before the flash and
then glass breaking in slow motion. An im-
pact cracked just behind his ear, sending
his mind far away. A childhood memory on
the rearview mirror. Death and plunder on
the steering wheel. His last thoughts drip-
ped off the kriobs of the radio, while through
the speakers his last love song played.
DEAD SKULL SURPRISE
1 onion (med. size)
1 bouillon cube (beef or chicken)
1 lump of butter
1 handful of peppers, spices or other con-
coction of fire.
Take the onion (skull), peel it, then dig a
big hole in the top. Not too big. Stuff the but-
ter in along with the bouillon and the remain-
ing ingredients, then cap with the innards
of the onion. Wrap the skull in foil. Preheat
oven, maybe 350°, for about five minutes.
Put in skull, wait until it's extremely tender,
then take it out of the oven. Eat it layer by
layer, but take off the foil first. Maybe.
(Recipe submitted by Andre Torrez of
Delano, CA.)
OREOS ALAMODE
Whatcha need is...
• Oreo cookies
● maraschino cherries
shredded coconut
⚫ peanut butter
⚫ donut sprinkles
Whatcha do is...
Take an Oreo. Separate it. Take the side
with the filling and sprinkle the coconut on
it, then top it with a cherry. Shove the whole
thing into your mouth to get the combined
taste. Now take the other half and spread
peanut butter on it and put sprinkles on the
p.b. Eat. (Recipe submitted by Ryan
Romano of Bourbonnais, IL.)
THINK RIGHT
That's correct. Look to your left and think
to your right, flex your brain with all your
might. It's your soul that you will save,
pietism won't keep those bombs away. Keep
your back safe from dirt, buy a new Shark
Taco T-shirt. Send $10.25 (postage and
handling included) to THRASHER
Magazine, PO Box 884570, San Francisco,
CA 94188-4570.
JIMMY Z