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RASH
ON BOARD
DISGUSTING RUMORS DEPT.
In regard to his alleged upcoming mar-
riage, Rodney Mullen claims no know-
ledge. Yet the Trashmen have in their
possession a set of rather revealing mus-
cle development photographs of the much-
rumored new Mrs. Mullen. The pics feature
a muscle-bound lass clad in rubberized Ven-
ture Future Wear and are enscribed with
gushy, passionate prose. Casting further
doubt upon the authenticity of these
documents is the South Bay, So. Cal.
postmark. One can only wonder if this work
originated from the brilliant mind of one.
Steve Rocco.
Even more disturbing perhaps is the per-
sistant rumor that Steve Olson is conduc-
ting private late night screenings of the per-
sonal film archives of one Miklos Chapin
Dora. Allegedly, the reels feature vintage da
Cat skate footage at primordial spots like
Revere and Bellagio. Other scary stuff is
said to include the original Mr. Malibu's ap-
pearance in a vintage '60's Clairol "Is it true
blondes have more fun?" commercial. As
our more studious readers may recall, Mr.
Dora was recently portrayed by a Califor-
nia magazine as being some sort of alleg-
ed international criminal. Since no one with
any sense will even admit to having seen
Dora in years, one can only wonder where
and how Mr. Olson came by the aforemen-
tioned footage.
Then there is the old tale which tells of
Ivan Hosoi, Jimmy Z Ganzer, Pat Darrin
and the fabulous Skipperboy all having
worked on da Cat's legendary advertising
campaign in the mid-sixties.
Mr. V. Richter of Islip, New York, is
rumored to be creating astounding skate
poetry.
Jay Adams is rumored to have driven his
girlfriend's car off a Santa Cruz cliff for fun.
Adams and his much talked of zipper head
tattoo emerged unscathed.
Long time biokinetic skate theoretician
Curtis Hesselgrave is said to be initiating
a timed cross-country skate contest in the
Del Mar region of California. Rumored to be
early entrants in this "true test of manhood
and skating ability" are legends of yore Wal-
ly Inouye, Chris Strople. Mike Weed and
Bruce Logan.
From team tattoo come more rumors of
skin art. Roskopp's alleged Bullseye, Ken-
dall's alleged snake, Keenan's alleged anti-
social design, Macintyre's alleged ham-
burger and Grosso's alleged Cheese Roll.
Is there any alleged team with more alleg-
ed tattoos in the known universe? For real
tattoos consult team Popeye.
Caballero is rumored to be out of the pop-
sicle business and into publishing books on
California landmarks. Mr. Steve C. is also
rumored to be author of an upcoming
treatise on tax shelters for pro skaters.
The Haro gig may have changed owner-
ship by the time you scan these pages.
Jim Gray has allegedly sold over 60,000
high style watches in two weeks.
Somebody's wondering? Internationally
reputed San Francisco-based columnist
Herb Caen has written that the reason "no
girls skate" is "because they are too smart."
The Trashmen, in response, alleged that
perhaps Herb has lost his eyesight.
Don Hoffman has allegedly been sent
bills from the Anaheim Convention Center
for damage.
Prominent journalist Steve Hawk is alleg-
ed to have pulled off the ultimate scam by
selling both Surfer and Surfing mags similar
stories at the same time. Presumably
neither knows of the other. Imagine every-
one's surprise upon the newsstand release
date of the two rival rags. Perhaps Steve
Hawk could now sell both skate mags look-
alike journals documenting his alleged re-
cent journey to Nicaragua.
More media rumors: Tony Hawk and
Rodney Mullen are both said to be under
consideration for a slot on the Tonight Show.
Tony, by the way, is the subject of a recent
Time Mag photo and comment. In an
unrelated incident, Cab is rumored to be do-
ing a commercial for Atari's 720 skate video
game.
LEGAL ABUSE DEPT.
From our freedom in Amerika file: The
Borst family of Bakersfield, CA, continues
to fight for their rights and their backyard
ramp. At last word the legal machinery con-
tinued to grind with time running out for the
ramp. Despite several thousand signatures
and massive positive pro skate media com-
mentaries, one disgruntled, physically dis-
tant neighbor's $250,000 lawsuit continues.
The ramp issue has turned into a political
football game with Chris Borst and his fam-
ily stuck in the middle. Protesters from out-
side the neighborhood show up to contest
what they know nothing about. Let's recall
that city-initiated sound and safety checks
revealed no errors. On the other hand,
others have rushed in to help out. Some pro-
minent businessmen have stated they might
provide some other piece of private property
for the rats to skate on. Additionally, Bakers-
field local and Indy car champ Rick Mears
has offered the family help and support.
Perhaps not too long ago this international
sportsman had problems with the Bakers-
field powers over his recreational require-
ments. Congratulations to the Borst family
for continuing to resist skate harrassment.
MORE DISORDER
G.S.D., Spidey, two Brazil nuts and Mr.
Tim were all busted for sessioning the Devil
Worship pool. It took five patrol cars to cap-
ture these dangerous criminals. At last word
the judge imposed no fine-this time."
Lance Mountain has totally rebuilt his
ramp at the Mountain Manor in Alhambra,
CA. The Video Commander, Christian and
Cruzians sessioned for K-Mart's video
there. It was also the unofficial practice
ramp during the week before the Anaheim
vertical finale.
The Godoys have gone winging.
Salba's been observed taking Rolling
Stone's Trip Gabriel out to the line for
savage R & R.
The much fabled Ocean City Ramp is now
said to be in place, welded, drilled, painted
and skinned (in other words operable).That
makes a total of three metal-surfaced ramps
on the East Coast with Chesapeake and
Cedar Crest leading the way. Talk of a
springtime series for East Coasters is be-
ing heard quite often during these hard-
skating winter months. Meanwhile, the
"highest air in the world" event, which had
been loosely scheduled for January 1 at
C.C.C.C., is now loosely scheduled for
sometime after spring thaw. Ante up, boys.
Bomb King Marlowe, Bob Umble, Steve
Henson, Gregg Ashley, Robbie Mertz,
Morris Wainwright, Kenny Griffin, Pat
Clarke, Derek Krasaukas, Scott McLain,
Dan Brown, Rick Charnoski and Blaize
Blouin are all pushing their skating well
beyond the legal limits. The last few con-
tests/sessions at Cedar Crest are the proof.
CCCC. is getting a roof overhead real soon.
The ramp handyman has gone legit? Ten
years experience is claimed. Contact Mike
Mapp for advice, estimates, etc.
Lapper Mag-reputed to be Frank's fave
rag-has sent word to T-ed that the correct
zine cost is, in fact, $2.00 ($3.00 by mail).
Peanut Brown is reportedly training
Jason Jesse for Golden Glove competition.
CLOSING QUESTIONS
As we enter another year many questions
remain unanswered.
Was Dan Wilkes new '61 Caddy Hearse
actually financed by Tracker Larry?
Following the examples of Steve
Schneer, Jim Gray and Kevin Staab, will
blown spleens be the injury of '87?
Was Schmitt Curb Wax actually invented.
10 years ago by Lucero?
Is Joe Lopes always thirsty?
Is Mad Magazine actually suing the
Bones Boys over the Lance vs. Lance ad?
Did the "rock and roll atmosphere" really
bother those NSA types at Anaheim?
Will the NSA name Louis B. Dorfman
man of the year for spending over one-
hundred and twenty grand to save the
Anaheim finals?
Is the NSA actually contemplating ban-
ning manufacturers from upcoming
meetings (other than the board of
directors)?
Are bigtime, hard-corp outfits like Match
Box, Converse and Gotcha looking to drop
big bucks on skate promos?
Which top streetstyler was popped at a
mall in Colorado for skating and then paid
off locals with equipment so that "they
wouldn't tell the mags?"
Why won't the Gonz answer the previous
question? Did he really buy a motor home?
Will the slimy kooks who robbed Lance
Mountain's private board collection (over
40 antiques) return them voluntarily or will
they be beaten into submission?
Was not NSA TV commentator and
THE
former Kryptoman D. David Morin playing
a softwear Romeo on TV's Hotel?
Is a certain slick mag planning a major
Dogtown issue? Will they interview Alva?
Have they obtained the old Skateboarder
Magazine's photo archives?
Is Santa Monica Airlines now being
distributed by N.H.S.?
Which manu has complained to agents
of both mags about how recent competition
photographs of his riders haven't displayed
"enough readable logos"?
Why did Bulky make so many calls to
Vegas during the Anaheim contest? Was he
really placing bets? Did he make a lot of
money?
Is it true that Brad's lady has taken to put-
ting foam inserts into her Vision tennies?
Can People Magazine even begin to
understand a genius like Christian Hosoi?
Is Johnny Rad, the celebrated lounge
singer (Skate and Create), really releasing
a red vinyl Christmas record next July?
Has Dickvak recently doubled his daily
garlic intake? Is this why Kendall never
stands next to him?
KONGPONS
San Jose's very own rockabills. The
Kingpins, are rumored to have taken the
$100,000 grand prize final on TV's Star
Search. The 5-man unit's line-up includes
one Craig Ramsay on drums who has re-
mained way underground skatewise lately.
Sax player Mike Belardes relates, "I just
wanted to have a beer with Ed." Air dates
for the qualifying round appearances are
March 1, 8 and 15.
Is Gator the most spontaneous pro or is
Blender? Will future judges even catch on
to what they are doing?
QUOTES
"Psycho skates for free."
V-Team quote
"What about the TV. money?"
Mike Smith
"Every time my name has been mentioned
in Trash, it's been associated with blatant
inaccuracies."
S. Hawk
"They've got their priorities all wrong. The
ams who skated yesterday can't even get
in the arena, while other people who don't
even know who they are, walk around the
ramp"
John Hogan
NSA Finals at Anaheim
"They even put lineoleum tiles across the
lips for the old skaters from the seventies."
Gregg Aguilar
NSA Finals at Anaheim)
COMING EVENTS
April 18-19
WEST END SKATE JAM
Richmond, VA Street and ramp contest,
3 divisions & sponsored ams. Pros welcome
to demo. Contact Joe Pintazalle. 9343
Gildenfield Ct., Richmond, VA 23229 (804)
270-0968.
March 21
IDES OF MARCH OPEN
Del Mar Skate Ranch Ramp riders-
beware the Ides of March. New contest for-
mat incorporating streetstyle and racing.
Open to all levels. Entry fee-$5 plus park
fees. Contact Del Mar (619) 755-9161.
1987 SNOWBOARD CALENDAR
March 6-8
U.S. OPEN CHAMPIONSHIPS
Stratton Mtn., VT Slalom and downhill
events, pre-qualifying on 6th, qualifying and
finals 7th-8th. Contact Burton (800)
448-0100.
April 3-5
WORLD SNOWBOARD CLASSIC
Brekenridge, CO Slalom, giant slalom,
halfpipe events. World class event, 200
riders from over 7 countries last year, more
expected this year. For more info call (303)
453-2368.
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