THRASH-A-THON
Cosse Greek
WAY ST. SIATION
At approximately the same time that after-
noon, several well-known doctorates in the
study of skateology showed up to throw
around the law of gravity: they were Neil
Blender, John Lucero, Paul Schmitt, Steve
Douglas, Bob Smeltzer, Steve Keenan, Fej.
Tony Magnusson and Steve Yearsly. The
whole intellectual crew took a couple of
preliminary readings and performed several
unusual gravity defying feats.
At precisely 6:30 pm over 1,000 people.
weren't eating dinner. Lab equipment was
beginning to droop from the intensity and the
crowd began to thrive on chaos. The chaos
peaked at 11:30 pm when the atmosphere of
the experiment was enhanced by the 2,000
people vacating a Berlin concert across the
street.
Day Three:
At 12:00 noon the skies were clear, but a
storm was brewing. Bryce Kanights took to
the decks with the camera, while Paul
Schmitt made sure everybody had a Schmitt
Stix sticker in a revealing place. Lester was
counting girls as Bob Smeltzer took advan-
tage of the fraternity's 'little sister' program.
A good sized study group had already con-
gregated. The session that erupted soon cap-
tivated the entire crowd.
The skating was standard, but it seemed
a bit out of the ordinary. Yes, calculators were
working overtime and test lab equipment was
being used, but there remained a question:
what was actually being recorded and
measured? What was going on here, anyway?
Steve Rocco was holding streetstyle clinics
at random sites. Neil was being Neil. Spidey
was experimenting with string cheese.
Smeltzer vibed the crowd with another
outstanding performance. Magnusson was
blasting his usual airs. Ffej was pulling
assorted mind blowing moves. Lester's airs
were grossly out of bounds. The Betties were
enjoying. Don Fisher was hungry. Mr. Yearsly
was just plain shredding. The Gonz, well, you
know. Steve Keenan was flowing t-shirts.
Note: After making the above observations,
I began to really think about what was
happening. This was not some regulated
contest. It wasn't an exhibition for per
sonal monetary gain nor a complicated
over-sponsored 'event.' It was a skate ses-
sion in the purest form. These guys came
here because they wanted to. They weren't
paid or patronized. It was obvious they
were having a blast without the pressures
and bullshit of a contest. They were
skating. It was unusually fun. They push-
ed each other, but it was because they
wanted to, not because they had to.
Therefore, objective #2 was achieved..
Conclusion: In conclusion, experiment #3
went very smoothly and all objectives were
met: the American Heart Association was
stoked, the skating was fun, the partying
was fun. All equipment was utilized with
the utmost precision during a 95% con-
fidence interval. The data was in-
congruous at times, due to a number of
outside variables, however one concept
became perfectly clear: skating is fun and
should be treated as such. Outside.
variables such as contests, judging.
regulations, money, ad infinitum, only
twist and contort the true meaning of
skating. The Thrash-A-Thon was suc-
cessful in proving this concept. Thrash-
A-Thon will be here every year regardless
of the popularity status of skating. The
broz of Lambda Chi Alpha would like to
sincerely thank all those skaters who
donated their time and talent for Thrash-
A-Thon. It was you guys who made the
event a complete success. Thanks again.
See you next year.
clean and fun. However, they observed distur
bances in the transition medium that were
affecting the ramp's overall performance.
This fact was quickly disregarded after con-
sideration of the decibel level of the crowd.
On Day One of Experiment #3, the bulk of
the skating was executed by the Lambda Chi
frat boyz, whose brotherly energy just can't
be measured. Their performance had its ups
and downs, but the crowd was always high.
Note: An interesting development was begin-
ning to sprout-the female population of the
crowd outnumbered the male population by
an average of 3 to 1.
Day Two:
Professor Chris Borst and Dr. Brando were
rushed in from Bakersfield to increase the
pulse of the crowd. Prof. Borst worked out
very well with the ramp apparatus. Chris'
MeTwists and grossly distorted backside air
variations were plotted on the abnormal
distribution curve and were found to inflate
crowd intensity. (See attached description of
a Powell-Peralta board.) Brando's quick, in-
novative moves tilted the portable shred
meter far beyond normal readings (The shred
meter was subsequently sent back to the
physics department for adjustments in order
to accurately measure the higher than usual
level of skating).
66
LAUR
THRASH
ATHOTHRASH CARD
अपकार
Slo town ramp rager, Eric Ulman pushes a
Gray slide amidst fellow university students.
THRASH-A-THON '86
"FOR THOSE ABOUT TO SKATE, WE SALUTE YOU
SKATER
TEAM/CLUB
AXA AUTHORIZATION
At 11:00 am, Thursday October 23, the
crowd population had reached an astonishing
2,563 people. A young blochemist, Mark Gon-
zales, was exhibiting his unique gyrations to
loft high above the crowd's expectations. Un-
fortunately, the Gonzoid experienced a
miscalculated landing and was forced (for the
time being) to remove himself from the
experiment.
An unexpected, unexplained and possibly
detrimental' appearance by the so-called
"skater from hell" put crowd control in
serious jeopardy. After decibel levels were
brought down to a tolerable level, Eric Ulman
began to neutralize the ramp aparatus with
his lap and slap tendencies. Mr. Brian Col-
lins sedated the ramp surface with smooth
style and inorganic moves. Don Fisher re-
defined the art of skating with every gesture.
Chris Borst continued with his work sans
pads-a lab assistant informed him that back
to back McTwists to lofty backside tweakers
were simply out of the realm of this experi
ment. These four skaters kept the atmosphere
flowing for an unrecorded amount of time.
SK 8 FO DA HEART! A
At exactly 4:32 pm one Lester Kasal and
one 'Pinky' reported to skate lab station #2.
As they approached the ramp, myriad micro-
shredders descended upon them and re-
quested the usual flowage. Lester quickly
pleased the masses before hastening back in-
to his lab coat. His eight-foot backside table-
toppers indicated that he was making the best
of this experimental exercise.
At approximately 8:00 pm I was making
my way over to the ramp to jot down some
notes when I was confronted by a barrage of
skaters. I recognized Dr. Steve Rocco, leading
the stampede, and couldn't help but notice
the look of mayhemic obsession on his face.
It seems that Dr. Roooo was taking random
samples of various terrains on the grounds
of Cal Poly. With the help of 33 fifth graders
he was successful in forcing college students
to shiver with fear and yelp for help. I thought
this was quite significant, since skateboards
are illegal on the Cal Poly campus.
Natas, Markus and Karl passed an
impromptu breathalizer test with
flying colors. Below: Paul Schmitt
mugs it up with friends and a
few seals of approval at the
post Thrash-A-Thon party.