clockwise from
bottom
MIKE VALLELY
ADRIAN DEMAIN
JIM THIEBO
DOUG SMITH
STEVE SAIZ
a road, a town, anyplade
anytime for any reason.
action is conceptualized
while skate terrain is
actualized, the names
of the future are engraved
on the past streets
exist for all to shred,
dread only what you
refuse to comprehend.
RAT-BONES
BONES BEARINGS
POWELL
PERALTA
m®
KANTI
RANT&REEL
REEL
By Mike Matlock
They Came From Within
"Everything is sexual. Even old
flesh is erotic flesh...Disease is the
love that two alien creatures have for
each other. Even dying is a form of
eroticism." There were some very
sick minds behind this one, boy.
David Cronenberg (Dead Zone,
Scanners) directed and Ivan Reit-
man (Ghostbusters, Legal Eagles)
produced this zombie parasite fest.
quite a few years back. It's the story
of a happy holiday hotel besieged by
red slimy sausage creatures that
drive their victims into a sexual fren-
zy of the living dead. The plot is sim-
ple: mad doctor places bug in girl,
girls sleeps with every man in hotel
on the sly, every man sleeps with
every wife. Net result: kids barking
like dogs, women's orgy social,
breasts out for blood, and a "hero"
with serious problems. This movie is
big-time loony tunes and big-time
blood, and I guarantee at least a lit-
tle repulsion. As with Dawn of the
Dead, I'd suggest seeing it in a
group.
Terror On Tape
In a never-ending quest to
discover theultimate horror film (as
opposed to just a gross-out) I've dug
up a lot of corpses, so to speak.
There have been quite a few moans
and a couple of sighs, but not yet any
real screams. To aid myself I rented
this monster of a tape, a compilation
spitting up all the meaty chunks from
about twenty different "terrifying"
films to see if I might find something
worthy of notice. The choicest cuts
were from the cult favorites Vampire
Hookers, Slayer, Deadly Spawn,
and, of course, H.G. Lewis' Blood
Feast and 2000 Maniacs. None were
particularly frightening, but there
was a lot of definite cringe material.
The tape is divided into separate
sections for your own viewing
pleasure: there's disembowelment.
decapitation, sharp objects, sex.
killers, aliens and an ending which
tries to make you gross-out all over
yourself. I recommend this to those
who can't stand to sit through two
hours of a putrid plot just to catch the
five gory minutes of a show. Bring it
to a party and no one will forgive you.
Tales From The Crypt
Here's an anthology which takes
five grisly stories straight out of the
old EC comic books and hooks them
all together under a master plot (the
original Creepshow, you could say,
without the major special effects).
Each story is entertaining (the fourth,
in which a man is doomed to spend
eternity in painful pieces, being the
best), but it is a little old. If you want
more of a traditional horror film and
not the super-gore, you might look
into this.
The Monster Club
Yet again, another anthology.
Here, Vincent Price, party vampire,
befriends John Carradine and in-
vites him into the Monster Club,
wherein he tells three ghastly
monster tales. Included are a whis-
tle that charbroils, a comic group of
priests who end up staking one of
their own, and a genuine goulish,
goulie goulash. It's a very fun film,
although it could definitely have
done without the musical numbers
in-between the stories. Like Tales
from the Crypt, it's more scare lac-
tics (or dark humor) than gore.
Last House On The Left
Billed as a true story and directed
by Wes Craven (A Nightmare On
Elm Street), this film has got to be the
most uncomfortable film to watch
ever made. It's neither scary nor
gory, it's just plain sick. Escaped
convicts capture, rape, humiliate,
torture, and then kill two girls in the
woods, and then coincidentally end
up staying over at one of the girls'
parent's house. The parents
discover their dead daughter and
this time it's torture, humiliation and
death for the killers. I recommend
this film only to those who get ex-
cited by watching someone with the
dry heaves. This is not a fun movie.
The House Of Seven Corpses
The first few minutes set me up
with high hopes for this film, but just
as quickly, they were shot down in
flames by a terrible plot turn. Like a
lot of "horror" movies, three-fourths
of the flick is spent in a "plot" that
just wastes time and is irrelevant to
the ending, which is suposed to
scare us horribly. By that time we're
either asleep or dead and could real-
ly care less. It's too bad the horror
genre is littered with so many films
like this.
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