Skarfing
Material
Lance Mountain dorking an alrwalk just because
someone told him to jump off a cliff.
LEVON TROHS
His eyes flitted across the printed page
and words lept up into his vision, stabbing
deep through his mind, making a mockery
of his heart.
I shall breathe no more upon
this savage Earth, the sun's
rays now burn cold. Love on
the far horizon is fading. The
child no longer exists. Now the
sirens are gone, society's
done, I exist no more, forever
THE END
He closed the book and stared at it. Not
through it, at it. He turned it over, then back
again, still looking. I'm hungry, he thought.
His body moved forward, his legs lifted him
and delivered him to the food preparation
area in his assigned habitat. Two hands
guided by a memory grasped two slices of
raisin/wheat bread and plopped them into
a bread toasting appliance. While the bread
toasted, the same two hands got a slab of
butter and began melting it in a Teflon frying
pan that was being warmed over a fire. The
hands cooked the egg, being sure to flip it
from time to time, then stopping when it
was throughly cooked, yolk included. The
mind wasn't involved in any of this. All the
mind was up to at this point was knowing
that the stomach was hungry,and, that the
stomach was hungry because the eyes just
read an intense novel about a part of an-
cient history, before the dawning of the new
age of the present. When the raisin bread
officially became toast, the toasting
appliance signaled, O.K., now you're toast,
leave this place.
The hands placed the egg onto a slice,
shook a bit of cinnamon onto the thoroughly
cooked embryo of what was gonna be a
non-flying winged and feathered two-legged
thing with a beak. It got covered with the
other slice then put up to the mouth by the
hands. The teeth took over from here, rip-
ping it apart and squashing it to mere pulp
before the tongue makes its move and for-
wards it to the stomach, who is totally stoked
on the successful operation. Meanwhile, the
mind clears the conscience of the whole
matter.
PINHEAD ABSTRUSE CASSEROLE
This tasty little recipe for four is dedicated
to my old school buddy, Vinny Gordenzola,
who, only months after successful electro-
shock therapy, is now managing a bank in
Bonsall, Ca. and has plans to win the State
Lottery.
2 cloves fresh, pressed garlic
2
cups zucchini (diced)
1 yellow bell pepper (diced)
1 small onion (chopped)
1 teaspoon parsley (minced)
3/4 cup fast-cooking brown rice
3/4 cup water
2 eggs
1 cup non-fat milk
2 handfuls shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 piece of mind
#
Now, whatcha gotta do here is throw the
rice, the water, the veggies, the parsley and
the garlic into a pretty big saucepan and
bring it to a boil. Once it's boiling, turn down
the flame and simmer about 15 minutes,
stirring occasionally. While all of that's going
on, in a mixing bowl, mush the milk, eggs
and cheese together so it looks consistent.
When you've reached this point pour the
milky gunk into the ricy gunk and stir. When
that's all mixed, pour the blob into a 9"
square Teflon bake pan. Pre-set the oven
at 350° before baking for 30 minutes. Don't
cover it. After it's done baking, you might
want to use the piece of mind and let it
stand for awhile before serving and eating,
or else you're gonna burn your little lips
right off your face.
BETTER LATE THAN DEAD
It's harder and harder to be hip these
days, you know that, don't you? Well, one
sure fire quick way is to order your very
own SKARFING MATERIAL T-shirt, com-
plete with the A-Ward winning recipe for
SHARK TACOS emblazoned right below
your breasts. Send $9.65 (shipping and
handling included), c/o THRASHER
MAGAZINE, (Skarfing Material T-shirt),
P.O. Box 884570, San Francisco, CA
94188-4570. Don't forget to read last
month's Skarfing Material all over again for
the secret hidden message. First correct
solution to message winds the lucky prize.
Mark Lake
NIGHTMARE
WALKER
-
BLUNT SQUARE NOSE
improved impact resistance.
EXTRA OVERALL NOSE AREA
increased leverage during nose grabs.
combined with concave nose lift acts as double
kicktail for reverse maneuvers.
comfortable and consistent hand positioning during
rail grabs.
HAND HOOKS
WIDEPOINT -10.25"
RATED R RADICAL
PREMIERING APRIL, 1986 AT A SKATE SHOP NEAR YOU
FOOT HOOKS
sensitive toe and heel control.
T-bolts installed at Foot Hooks for improved durability.
LENGTH -30.25"
WALKER
PO Box 1331
Cocoa Beach, FL 32931
(305) 799-2158
SKATERS: Send $1.00 for info and (2) stickers
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