ON BOARD
80
COMING EVENTS
C.A.S.L. 1986 SCHEDULE
California Amateur Skateboard League
March 15
April 12
San Bernardino
Streetstyle/Tight Slalom
Del Mar Skateranch
Keyhole pool/Tight Slalom
For more information on C.A.SL. events call:
(714) 882-3604 or write: c/o Mrs. Vickers, 13007
Falcon Pl., China, CA 91710.
N.S.A.-1986
National Skateboard Association
March 28-29
May 3-4
June 21-22
July 19-20.
Houston, TX
Pro Am Ramp
Del Mar Skateranch
Pro Am Pool Freestyle
VA Beach
Pro Am Ramp
Oceanside, CA
Pro Am Freestyle/Streetstyle
August 18-26 Vancouver, B.C. Canada
Ramp/Freestyle/Special Events
September 27-28
Chicago, IL
Pro/Am Ramp-Pro Freestyle demo
November
TBA
Pro Am Ramp, Am Nat. Champ., Freestyle Demo
Amateur vertical riders enter only their own re-
RASH
QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH
Q-1 Which prominent member of the
skate press actually sleeps with live
snakes on the premises?
0-2 Which major manu knocked off a
Skipperboy proto deck shape, forgetting
to omit a tell-tale bump on the outline?
Q-3 Which skaters from what other com-
panies are concocting an elaborate plot to
appear uninvited in a future Santa Cruz
Pro Motion catalogue?
Q-4 At a recent trade show, which pro
skaters decks were sold by two separate
companies simultaneously, with each com-
pany calling the other bogus?
Q-5 Are certain professional skate men
more than a little upset over alleged short-
changing on royalties on a certain captain
of the industry's assembled boards?
Q-6 Which Hollywood slimy skate exploi
tation type film was so bad that its pro-
ducers decided to re-shoot the skate ac-
tion using the same brilliant genius who
captured the original sub-epic footage?
Q-7 Why does the Gonz call up people in
the middle of the night asking, "What good
is an angel with a broken halo?"?
Q-8 Why were major movers of a mega-
gional contests-results wil determine qualifica-bucks film corporation seen going through
tons for national finals.
N.S.A. 24 hour hotline
1-714-882-3406.
Or write to: N.S.A., RO. Box 3645, San Ber
nadino, CA 92404.
"This content is invitation only and in conjunction with C.S.A
(Canadian Skate Association.
W.A.S.A.
Washington Amateur Skateboard As-
sociation
March 31
Federal Way, WA
Cookie Jam-open skating/membership drive
Normandy Park, WA
Mar Vista Streetstyle
April 14
March 8
YVONNES' STREETSTYLE
Huntsville, AL Tattoed Lady's parking lot. For
more info: Eric Felts -(205) 539-7354,
March 15-18
HOT TROPICS PRO/AM
the trash of a prominent skate rag?
Q-9 Are the skaters of one prominent
manu deliberately trying to undermine the
credibility of their employer by using
cheap character assassination tactics, or
is it all true?
Q-10 At a recent trade show, which ultra-
cheapo exploiter refused to give several
major skaters a copy of a video this
definite non-sponsor had made? Did this
lowly commercial dog fear legal action
since he had not paid these top talents for
appearing?
Q-11 Are Dogtown's James Muir and
S.M.A. s Skip Engblom actually running a
state of the art manufacturing complex
together?
Q-12 is a major industry trend afoot
Mobile, AL Brookley Field, $3,100 in prizes. For towards ultra-light high-tech composite
more info: Bill Grimes -(205) 343-9007.
April 6th
NO SWEAT SKATE CONTEST
Newport Beach, CA CDM High School $6.00
entry fee, streetstyle and freestyle. Info: Sean
Sullivan (714) 760-6537
March 15th
LINDEAU
STYLE
SCHOOL STREET/FREE-
decks?
Q-13 Which skater turned New York art
dealer was recently observed hiding from
a now-legendary fashion model and her
Irate mother? Was an alleged mention of
marriage the cause for his panic, or was it
merely "a polite misunderstanding?"
Q-14 Does the mysterious Mr. Bennett
pound his fist only in nervous habit, (like
Edison, NJ Lindeau School. Info: Mike -(201) he recently claimed), or is he, in fact, a
985-6884
March 28-30
WORLD SNOWBOARD CLASSIC
Brokenridge, CO Brekenridge Ski Resort. Info:
Fran Richarda (303) 938-8793.
March 22
THE WALL
Modesto, CA Stanislaus County Fairgrounds
(Turlock). Pro appearances by Cab, Guerrero,
Roskopp. Meekster Gates open at 10:00 a.m..
admission $3.00 For info: (209) 538-8338
world-renowned martial arts instructor as
the rumors have it?
The new N.S.A. budget of 100 grand
sounds plush enough, eh. Oceanside, Del
Mar, VA Beach, Houston, Chicago and
Anaheim are mentioned as potential sites
for the N.S.A. series. Can the legendary
promotional abilities of the N.S.A. fill up
major venues such as Chitown's Odeum
and the Anaheim Convention Center? We
eagerly await the outcome of the series.
In Memorium-Skate journalist and
screenwriter Mister Margulies dead at
27. Adios.
Just days after being spotted on the
East coast along with Lance Carson,
Corky Carroll, Larry Balma, Con
Dolburn and Dog Dewey Weber, Jimmy
Ganzer managed to show up onstage,
modeling in a fashion show of all things.
The scene was the Los Angeles Institute
of Contemporary Art and Jimmy G. was
almost able to make it down the catwalk,
unaided, by the swanky model at his side.
Backstage, Beau James Ganzer skate
sessioned while Dave Hackett and Street
Scott made indecent proposals to Julie
Newmar. No confirmation as of yet to the
tale of Kevin Ancell leaving the big bucks
charity event in the company of Cat
Woman.
Certain manus are complaining that
Rob is just a spoiler plot designed to
destabilize the industry by driving up
skater salaries. Cry hard boys...
Was not Brand X Bernie accosted by
some slob offering to sell junk Taiwan rip
off look alikes for 15 bucks apiece "fully"
assembled? Bernie was so appalled at
this classless act that he went back to
Silvercreek looking for dirt. By the way, at
the Long Beach Action Sports Show the
slimy slob was seen hustling his TaiTrash
in the men's room. His line: "Hey bro, I've
got my own village in Taiwan and I can
make a copy of any skate you name...
Let the buyer beware.
Is it true at least seven different artists.
collaborated on the artwork for Tommy
Guerrero's new model? Are Mofo,
Ancell, CVJ, the Fen, Lowman and Little
Ricky the names most mentioned?
At the Long Beach industry trade show
an impromptu skate session involving
hundreds shut down the show while basic
street-types issued the challenge. Million
dollar makers of non- essential products
lined the windows of the air conditioned
arena to watch real ife. Now if they could
only figure out how to use those wind-
surfers, Iritins and suntan creams on
concrete... By the way, Sonia Skates was
the consensus hip hit of the show. Also
watch for Brian Gillogly, former ed of
Skateboarder, to be gigging with UnReel
Productions
Powell booth, video for the masses
Vision booth
featuring Mark Rogowski on advice.
And to further confuse us, MTV's The
Cutting Edge is attempting to gain a copy
of Future/Primitive to air on their program.
But our Madison Avenue spies tell us
that skateboarding is now considered
"dead" as a "hot" topic for TV. commer-
cials-Good news for one and all.
Are BMX rags turning to skateboarding
in record numbers in a thinly veiled des-
perate attempt to prop up their sagging
business?
Are certain BMX agents making big
moves trying to buy up the talents of some
of our sport/art's greatest talents? Who
were those strange men in Florida
wearing Polyester BMX outfits talking to a
major skater's dad anyhow?
REVENGE DEPT
Someplace on a damp, moist, semi-
tropical night near the Florida Everglades,
the scene of the crime was a go-kart track.
A large, overgrown man-child was intent
on abusing all those mere mortals who
dared venture out onto the racing con-
course. His name was Macintyre. They
say he came from Santa Cruz via La Jolla
Shores. He used to sell Datsuns, so you
know "he knows cars." (Just ask him.)
With ferocious regularity Fat Mac retired
all comers and cried out for more. The
track was wet and slick. Following the
particularly brutal go-kart execution of a
large United States Marine Corps member
the officials at the track became con-
cerned. Was not this rogue male on a
rampage the same rotund fellow who had
himself been previously abused by an
even more menacing pair? (At this highly
convoluted point, insiders might recall that
in the not-so-distant past two thugs.
allegedly named George Powell and Art
Harris, had ritualistically thrashed one Fat
Mac on this very same track, sending him
through a chain link fence.) The crux of the
matter was that Santa Fats was bent on
revenge. So out of the crowd who should
show up to race but that heroic leader of
the G&S clan Larry Gordon. People lined
the track screaming as Gordon and
Macintyre locked racing iron through the
corners, running over tires, cones and
whatever else was in the way on the
straightaways. Suddenly the track security
force halted all racing, citing obscure laws
relating to murder and mayhem. Someone.
in the crowd muttered something about a
track official being allegedly run over.
Santa Fats thought this was a stupid
reason to halt a world-class sporting
event. Bygones being bygones, sometime
later an unidentified large, boisterous type
was ejected from the nearby amusement
park bumper car ride for megga thrashing.
Tom Sims has been seen conferring
with Bradley Dorkman lately. Is it possible
that Sims Snowboards is planning a major
move/campaign?
El Skipperboy, after playing quarters
with Mo for 72 hours, finally conceded to
appear on the upcoming Skate Rock 4
album...reading poetry?
K.T., lord and master of our domain, is
on his way to the Sandwich Isles, along
with Christ, Cab, Roskopp, Gonzo, el.
al. Watch for more Hawaiian style action.
Heavyweight media-man Rick Ducon-
mun ruined several evenings recently
when he popped up on the old 19 inch
tube on some weird Showtime sitcom
called Brothers. Rick's only comment was
something pertaining to, "It's just Valterra
for rich kids."
Gonzales, Neil and Rocco are report-
edly being sought for questioning following
the appearance of a cryptic add-on
drawing upon the walls of the Ohio
Hollodome. We wonder aloud... Why
were there more pros at the no-money
Surf Ohio Contest than for the well-
financed, well-publicized Bike Mag
Contest? Is it lack of interest or are certain
commercial factions really the cause?
SHORT PANICS
Pennsylvanian Doug Pensinger, for
some unrevealed, obscure reason, is now
a notorious backcountry Santa Barbara
skate guide. Doug has also been known
to document indecent skate action by
such dangerous types as Rob Washburn,
Chris Iverson, Allen Chaney, Larry
Santa Rosa and Caleb.
As almost every man, woman and
moped of the skate persuasion already
knows, Ken Park's been busy building a
secret ramp. (In the interest of preserving
Park's elaborate veil of secrecy, please
don't tell Ken that everyone is aware of
what he's up to.)
Rumor has it that following a roller-
skating industry exec's rather bizarre dis-
closures regarding insurance procedures
in INC magazine that the Boy Scouts of
America are considering withdrawing their
progressive support of skateboarding. The
loss of the B.S.A, backing could seriously
jeopardize both formal organizational skat-
ing as well as the existence of skateparks
themselves. Our informants ask us: "What
price is put upon blatant self-promotion?"
And from our global village file: In the
sick/sane world of terrorism, assassina-
tions, kidnappings and other random acts
of anti-U.S. aggression abroad, how can
the aspiring global trotter assure himself
of absolute safety? Well, here, skatefans,
is the answer... Yes, that veritable
vagabond of the vertical, that wandering
nomad of commerce, that living treasure
of surf/skate history, that pririce among
paupers, that pillar of soul in a vineyard of
ON BOARD
rootless grapes of wrath... the one and
only Richard Novak never worries when
he takes to the friendly skies, because he
alone holds the answer. Literally, in his
hands; Dickvak clutches a copy of the
Koran, the sacred book of certain persons
of the Middle Eastern persuasion. It is
only by employing this clever ruse, a
certain unnamed son of the desert
alleges; that Mr. Novak is able to so
closely monitor his extensive Persian oil
holdings. We are sure, of course, that the
much rumored up-coming Khadafi model
on the Santa Cruz drawing board can only
help assure improved American/Middle
Eastern connections. (For the record,
Dickvak was last said to be observed on
the streets of Berlin disguised as a
nineteen-forties baker.)
Can it be possible that Mr. Madrid is
seriously considering bringing out the
aborted, intended signature model of a
particular recently departed rider and
calling it the Ex-Team Rider? Presumably
this accolade is recognition for the rider's
past membership on so many different
teams.
Why was Nell Blender making numer-
ous collect phone calls from Ohio? Can it
be that Nell is art directing over the
phone?
And from our he's-not-just-an-actor-any-
more file, consider this: Just what are Don
Johnson, Michael J. Fox. Billy Crystal
and Furry Lewis doing on our sacred
pages? Our ace underground pictress
Gwynned Rose V. infiltrated last month's
Pepsi convention to cover the allegedly re-
grouped Pepsico skate demo squad...
And standing by the ramp was who else
but?.
Crystal, Johnson, Fox and Frey
getting cut-off at Pepsi Con. Photo: Gwyn V
QUOTE OF MONTH.
"It doesn't matter if you are a dork when
you have money"
Atributed to Brad Dorfman by S. Rocco
"Anyone can tell this isn't a skateboarding
movie."
Tony Alva
"Giraffes were my favorite animal when I
was about ten."
Tony Hawk
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