SKATER
S
JAA
EDGE
THE NEW TRADITION
with Bob Denike
DWIDS!
Some people just don't have it. They
don't, for some unknown reason, jive with
what is going on around them. They do
things, say things and all together just get-
the point across that they don't have a clue.
I pity these poor, lost and hopeless fools
just as much as you do, but the bottom line
is that they create a problem: "we," the
people who skate, must live with "them,"
the people who don't. Learning to both
identify and deal with "them" isn't easy, but
it is something "we" all have to do.
Take, for example, the "sports jock" type.
He is fairly easy to identify. Look for clothing
with his favorite team's emblem posted on
every available space, mindless rambling
of scores and game statistics, and the
clincher, loud screaming and yelling of
"we're number one, we're number one every
Sunday afternoon and Monday evening.
The face to face confrontation will usually
arise when he asks, "Hey dude, what
sports are you into?" As if you like any at
all. Your answer: "None." This quickly puts
a cap on the whole deal and allows you to
go about your business. This type can't deal
with someone who is into no sports at all,
so this will get him off your back and out of
your face.
The next type of non-skater is the "Yea, I
used to skate" group, you know, the type.
that once did but now doesn't. They'll
usually identify themselves with key re-
marks like "Yeah man, I used to skate back
when it was big, when the skateparks were
happening," or "But, I kind of grew out of it."
They always seem to drop a few names like
"Tony Alva" or "Caballero" and then go on
to tell you how they hung out with these
guys. Who are they kidding? What do they
mean "when it was big"? It's big now and to
me has been for the last ten years. And
what did they grow into after skating?
Following the crowd? Or being a "young
adult"? No excuse, wrong answer. Deal
with them by suggesting they get that skate
out of the closet or get out of the way.
Then there are those who don't skate,
have never skated and, fortunately, never
will. But, for some reason, they have been
put in a position of authority and that
authority is usually over and above you.
Examples range from police, to parents, to
contest organizers. Quick identification can
be realized by looking for bulging veins in
the neck area as they tell you something
that doesn't usually jive with what you're
doing at the time. Dealing with this type is
simple, put yourself in their place. Most
authority figures are expecting you to put
up a fight and not cooperate, right? So
simply cooperate. This will blow them so far
off course that they will never recover,
getting you off the hook. Once this initial
cooperation is completed, the next confron-
tations will progressively get less and less
severe. Remember, only cooperate just
enough to get yourself off the hook.
Other interesting types of non-skaters
are those who you must share your skate
terrain with, like BMX riders or pesty little
kids. For the bike rider problem I divide
them into groups, those who rip and those
who suck. The ones that rip I don't worry
about, they're interesting to watch. The
ones that suck, on the other hand, just get
in the way. Conveniently, the ones that suck
remove themselves naturally from the ac-
tion, usually with a nice groin related injury.
I just let nature take its course.
The pesky kid problem is a different story.
Nowadays your average brat is a little more
sophisticated and the "Hey kid, your mom's
callin you for dinner" routine just doesn't cut
it. Violence is the key here, or should I say,
the threat of violence. Tell him you're going
to remove his head if he doesn't stop
throwing rocks in the bottom of the pool.
That should do the trick. Just make sure
you're not around when he comes back with
his convicted rapist big brother.
Finally, we have the "skate widow," the
loyal girlfriend of your modern skaterat.
They can usually be spotted sitting
rampside, swealtering in the sun and dirt or
sitting in the front seat of a car, arms
crossed with long, bummed looks on their
faces. They are not happy. They do not want
to be there. They aren't interested in watch-
ing dudes slam their bodies on a ramp. So
how do you deal with them? You don't deal
with them, they deal with you. They must.
understand that you have no control over
those once in a skate-lifetime chances that
pop up and cause you to bail on some
Insignificant date or evening out. If they
can't do it your way, show 'em the doorway."
So, finally, have we hit them all? No way.
Those who don't skate, sadly, outnumber
those who do. It's us against them, but just
between you and me, let's keep it that way.
Take care and skate safe.
KEN TAKEDA
Venture Truck Co. P.O. 883942 San Francisco, CA 94188-3942
VENTURE