you'd ever want in leather including studs, Doc
Marten smash èm'up thrash 'em down gnarl
boots of several discriptions, cool bondage
things, inexpensive,black leather whips,
"punk hair cutting salons, fake punk-rockers
on Kings Rd., (who were only there for the
purpose of being photographed with tourists
and then charging them for the priviledge).
Leroy obliges himself to slander these
carbon-copies with an'acute voice-throwing
capacity. Leroy purchases a pair of slick
knee-high black leather,goose-steppers with
plenty of buckles and Dr Marten soles for the
ride that glides.
TRAINS-TUBE, THREE FOUR
Somehow, Leroy awakebs from a golden
slumber on the lawn next to the Crystal Palace
ramp. There's the distinct impressions of grass
on the side of his face from his right ear, all the
way around to just past the center of his
forehead. He just grabbed a precious seventy-
three minute nap. It takes him a few moments
to realize he is in London, sleeping on the
grass next to a sports complex, where he next
decides to co-erce Douglas into directing him
to the shower facility. Refreshed, Leroy
approaches the Crystal Palace ramp with clear
eyes, clean hair and the beginning of some
acute athete's foot fungus on the little too of his
right foot.
"How do you feel now, better?", Steve
Douglas asks.
"I feel mostly better, thanks. Strained at
best.", replies Leroy, his eyes shifting behind
his nasty mirrored evil-looking wrap around
sunglasses as he surveys his surroundings,
looking at the grass, the street, the wood. All
on Englsih soil, but looking, he thought, just
like back home. Leroy had the dumb idea that
things must be so drastically different fo
countries on the other side of the world, that
even the gravity was dissimilar.
HUP TWO, THREE, FOUR
Skating along with Steve Douglas, on the
ramp, were some creatures of the skate at
Buz. Bod and a guy called Mad Mike.
Buz is a serious character who should be
regarded as so. Bod is a mythical whimsica
character who has no reasons not to smile,
Mad Mike, well, Mad Mike is mad. He goes for
what he knows and then decides to go for
more, making insiduous slams and living to tel
about it
After a purely recreational session which
has its bursts of inspirational vigor (tatec
incorporating the likes of visiting American Jeff
Crouteau and a small bandful of localish skate
types including Danny Adams and Phil
Burgoyne) the crew forcibly invites Leroy to a
pub that was located on the Crystal Palace
premesis, with promises that the tough beer
they have in England, is about enough to
thoroughly WAX Leroy's American ass. The
fraction of Argentinian blood within Leroy
smiles deeply. It takes three trains to get to a
place to sleep.
SLEEP-TWO, THREE, FOUR
Douglass terms alternately as "Victimizing
their Vicker," "Beatin' the Bishop" and "Jerkin
their Gerkin'.
BOAT-TWO, THREE, FOUR
Leroy packs up his bags at 7:30 one morning
and decides to head over towards Europe, via
a ferry across the channel, to do more of what
he was sent over to do, which is still a thing that
he doesn't totally quite grasp yet but thinks he's
getting warmer.
Armed with a Eurail pass, American Express
travelers checks, a forty-two year old black
leather motorcycle jacket and a sixth sense for
obtaining wrong directions (because he only
speaks English, too poorly and too fast at that)
he ventures onwards, attempting to reach a
destination in Germany where there's been
reports of some sort of skateboarding activity.
Crudely scrawled inside his weathered little
black leather notebook are a telephone
number, a name -Claus Grabke, and a town-
Gutesloh.
By the time he's boarded his third or fourth
train, he's figured out that the information
clerks positioned along the platform wearing
red officer-style hats, were not into speaking
English at all, especially Leroy's fast-paced
Mexican-American- Latino Vato-cholo-lingo
accentuation abbreviations and such.
Leroy learns to hate the guys with the rad
hats.
"What, train, do, I, board, to
les, and, what, track, is, it, did; what, time,
goes back to his cabin and toasts himself for
making it all the way to the other side of the
world and living, so far.
GUTERSLOH-SWIE, FRIE, DIE
Leroy awakes to the sound of Bruno
Peeters, Kevin Staab, Uli and Claus
Grabke throwing "Tootsie," Claus, girlfriend's
dog, onto his head, face and lower lip.
It's eleven a.m. and Leroy is in a bed in Uli's
house in Gutesloh. He arrived at a bit past
midnight and talked with Claus and Ui tir the
wee hours. During his sleep, he hada dream,
an omen to go to Sweden, that there's a
skateboard summer camp there, and it's
gonna be over in a few days.
"Are you ready to go and do the phofp
session at the rampen of Claus?", Uli asks.
"I will perhaps," Leroy responds, "But First!
must spray water on my body parts and apply
soap for some personal hygene activity."
Leroy examines the toilet, then pondered the
state of mind of the individuals, or group of
individuals who were involved in the research
and development of this peculiar, non-func-
tional looking contraption. When he unavoida
ble puts it to serious, sit-down use it appears,
that the putridly fragrant waste material merely,
plops onto a porcelain plateau, awaiting the
moment it is to be swept away by a rush of
water down a small hole located towards the
the unit.
Shtohe
SHOWERED TWO, THREE, FOUR
does, it, leave?" Leroy says to a "red-hat" while...After emerging from the shower, Leroy
gesturing with his hands; gliding tbem across
the sky in almost spiritual-ikd motions, trying
In a hopelessly van attempt to make his words
sound better and project more meaning.
The man in the "red-hat" stares at him
indifferently, not recognizing the type.
"Sprekenzie Amerikaner?" Leroy pleads.
"Nein!", and the Red Hat man spun around
and is off to answer someone else's question.
Leroy spots two more of the "red-hat" guys
and tries the same approach, only minus the
hand jimbo, when one of them barely recog-
iged the gist of what he is getting at and
directs hing on the correct course.
Once abgard His Traingbe learns that he
must change in Koln (Cologne) then again in
Dortmund and from thelp on to Gutesioh. This
car isntas crowded as the first train had been.
Leroy findan cabin all to himself and discovers
that this train has a restaurant car. After
settling all his luggage he makes his way down
and buys himself two taillager beers in white.
cans with pink elephants silkscreeened all
overom
On the way back to his cabin, he passes a
cabin packed to the gills with a chubby
travelling German family. One of them grabs
Lerdy by the arm, pulls him partway into the
cabin and they begin babbling at him in their
native tongue
Peering about him, Leroy envisions a
Deutsche-Mom, Deutsche- Dad, Deutsche-
Són, a fat Deutsche-Daughter, even Deutsche-
Grandpa and Grandma, and speaks to them in
perfect english. "The circle is complete."
1985
The next two days sees Leroy taking several
trains, eating lots of pizza, standing in the rain
in front of Buckingham Palace to watch some
guards wearing red jackets, black pants and
funny tall furry black hats) walk back and forth
and turn around funny, more trains and then
more trains. Steve Dougalas Tells the tale of
Gloppers on some trains: a style of dirty old
men who, while fooking at young boys, play
with and abuse themselves An dotion which
34
The Family Deutsche immediately falls
silent and look at each other in surprise.
"Das ist Amerikaner," the father figure
explains to the rest. Their reply is immediate
and swift. They drag Leroy all the way into the
cabin and say many of their native words
which mean the equivilant of, "Come in here
you bid, dark American in a black leather
jacket and drink many Pink Elephants with us,
Ja Being of diplomatic mind, he stays for two
SPORT BEA
implores as to the whereabouts of the rampen
Claus. It turns out that the ramp is close at
hand. Leroy is humored by the mere fact that
he is on the way to a ramp/photo session,
somewhere in Western Germany, in the middle
of a furious thunderstorm. The ramp is
constructed inside a barn, on the side of a
narrow, country road lined on both sides with
emerald foliage, healthy from previous
rainfalls.
Up against one end of the barn is the ramp..
Ull and Claus constructed it themselves. They
are the sole owners of the structure and, in
fact, the only two skateboarders in all of
Gutesloh. Right up along side there rests a
multi-bladed plow- thing and next to it a big
tractor with a fork-like death skewer dealie
STEVE DOUGLAS- No one knows why
sticking out its rear. Perfect scene for a
skateboard episode on the Twilight Zone.
Kevin Staab, Uli and Bruno begin sessioning
as Claus, Leroy, Donna and Tootsie look on.
Soon, Leroy and Claus begin taking photos
and the skating tempo increases, highlighted
by Bruno's high fakie ollies and frontside
booster airs, Ull's fully extended layback
rollouts and bold Andrechts and Staab's new
trick, "the Illusion."
FLASH AND CARRY-THREE, FOUR
Leroy is on top of the ramp, cranking and
exposing film through the lens of his camera,
utilizing a flash for illuminating assistance as
Claus returns from a quick dash to the train
depot, where he picks up a fellow German
vertical skater Florian Broehn and obtains
information on trains bound for Sweden.
Florian joins the fervid session, lending his
style and ability to the commotion. Styled
inverts, boosting airs, but not enough accent
on the lip moves.
"Any trains to Sweden today?", says Leroy to
Claus after about twenty minutes.
There's one this afternoon. It leaves at one
quarter of an hour past three o'clock."
"I'll leave then. Uh, what is the time of this
day at this moment, which is now?"
Nearly half past two o'clock."
"I leave now, my friend," and they all load up
in a car, race for Leroy's baggage and to the
train station, where they have a whole two and
a half minutes to spare. Leroy can't help
noticing how quickly Claus drives through the
rain-soaked streets. Leroy's knuckles are still
white.
"See you in a week or so, Claus," Leroy
beams out a train window, waving goodbye.
Sitting down in his second class cabin
compartment, he goes over his train schedule
to Stockholm: two trains then a big 2 hour stop
over in Hamburg, from there, a night train
straight to Stockholm.
PARTIAL LONDON CREW
LUCIAN HENDRICKS- One hot
prospect of London
BUZ- London, with
Snake Bite Drinks.