ON BOARD
COMING EVENTS
NATIONAL SKATEBOARD ASS.
1985 CALENDAR
June 9, 1985
VIRGINIA BEACH THRASH JAM
"Thrashmore at Trashmore," as we bring
the Pros out to that East Coast skatopia,
Virginia Beach, Virginia.
June 29
Mile High, Lake Tahoe ...
July 20-21
Vancouver, Canada
Ramp
Ramp
Freestyle
All contests are Pro/Am events, however.
the number of Amateur contestants will be
limited in order to keep a reasonable con-
test level. All ages compete as one group.
For more details and entry forms contact:
NSA P.O. Box 1325, Upland, CA 91786
(714) 981-6014
June 15
SWAMP RAMP JAM II
Unsponsored AM, Sponsored AM, Pro?
Info: S.S. 136 Watersedge Dr., Ocean
Springs, MS. 39564
Lindsey: (601)875-9512
Buckit (601)497-4378
August 31, 1985
CAPITOLA CLASSIC STREETSTYLE
Don't miss this years' Capitola Streetstyle
extravaganza. For more info on this years
event write to: N.H.S., 825 41st Ave.,
Santa Cruz, CA 95062
PLUG IN AND SKATE
Stay tuned during June and July for The
Faction in your neighborhood. This years
"Dark Room' skate tour will stop for a lot
more dates in more towns so keep an eye
out and bring your skate! Here's the
schedule of events!: JUNE-15-Santa Cruz.
15-Phoenix, 19-Santa Fe, 20-Dallas, 21-Hous
ton, 22-Memphis, 24-Atlanta, 25-30-Florida
JULY-1-Greensborough, 2-VA Boach, 3-Balti-
more, 4-Atlantic City. 5-New Jersey, 7-NYC,
8-Allentown, 10-Cleveland, 11-Grand Rapids,
12-Chicago, 13-Milwaukee, 14-Des Moines,
15-Lincoln Neb, 16-Kansas City. More dates
are pending. Contact the boys for skating and
bookings at 1-M records, Suite 109-222, 15466
Los Gatos Blvd, Los Gatos, CA 95030 Call:
408-356-1939,
THRASHER HAS A NEW BOARD...
The Thrasher Electronic Bulletin Board.
(TEBBS)
For up to the minute information on
events, music skate scene, and other hap-
penings use your computer to call (415)
822-5630 4:30 PM to 8:30 AM PST.
Thrasher Board supports 300 and 1200
Baud Modems
GUTTER LANGUAGE
The multitudes assembled once more
for another epic street event. The site was
Sacramento, the event was co-sponsored
by Go Skate and Tower Books, the skating
was hot, the weather was warm, et al.
Interesting enough this skate centered
promotion succeeded admirably without
the pompous expertise of certain self
important organizations. Doug Biggert of
Tower managed to cool out the crowds of
radical action types, as well as irate store
owners and local law enforcement, Typi
cally, the toilets of a nearby bowling alley
overflowed, causing aggression prone
pin-spotters to blame the deluge on mis-
creant skaters. More typical, perhaps was
the presence of that American Standard
high water man Fats Macintyre in the
adjacent liquid concession stand. The Fat
one, earlier in the day, had his tasteful
imported car permanently damaged by
some errant lowriders who assaulted him
Macintyre and rented ride after mishap with
in a 1985 Lincoln Continental Mark V. Also
present at this urban convocation was the
slightly undercovar Bones Brigade Video
crew who were earlier seen in the San
Jose area in the company of the Big E,
Billy Ruff, Doctor Rick, Scott Foss, Cab.
Mr. Zoot, MoFo, Lance Mountain, Skip
Engblom, Tony Hawk, Mr. Jesse de
Venice, Jeff Grosso, Kevin the K, Terry
Nails, Natas Kaupas and several others
way too dangerous to mention. Coinciden-
tally S.J. Police received several reports of
mass pool sessioning and group art as-
saults. In another apparently unrelated
incident Stacy Peralta, D. David Morin,
Tony Hawk and John Smythe were hitt
and run crash tested by a drunken Bozo at
forty plus. The lads escaped with their lives
and an assortment of text book medical
ailments while their brand new Chevrolet
station wagon was reduced to a pile of
twisted meaningless rubble. The local
police credited noted skate types Cabal-
lero, Grosso and Mountain with chasing
down the hit and run driver, Meanwhile
back at the Sacto asphalt patch big ques-
tions were being asked. For instance the
infamous Denise from San Jo wanted to
know, why don't other skaters smell good
Bike Spidey? (The answer is that "other
skaters" don't pour gallons of cologne all
over themselves). Many other inquiries
were made regarding the authorship of the
ultra cryptic "Book of Spide." Apparently
this mysterious document, which details
the alleged life and times of one of the
skate scenes most blatant characters,
contains accurate blueprints for the com-
mercial take over of skateboarding. The
only clue to the authorship of this sure to be
cult classic was the diabolically scrawled
signature of "Huggey Bear Hodgee" across
the title page. Another large question
concerned the rather sparse prizes
awarded. Mr. Skip, (sponsor of am-winner
Natas), was so thrilled with the first place
prize ceremonial goggles that he throw a
SMA skate through the window of a nearby
Lincoln Limousine in celebration. Other
questionable activities involved 1) a mys
terious car parkod in the middle of the
contest area filled with urban critics, 2)
Blender's attempt to subvert yet another
event 3) Christ's promotional genius, 4)
Eddie R. and Mike Smith's non stop
beautiful betty auditions, 5) the edgy Ice
cream witch's continually disappearing
plants 6) the Thunder crew's unbridled
assault, 7) the source of Kevin the K's
continuous contest spiel, 8) the Jaks
team's training tactics, 9) Roskopp's farm
implement inspired street moves, 10)
Malvino's seemingly never completed "in
progress cinematic product, 11) Joe
Lopes' perpetual motion street sweepers,
12) the much rumored marital plans of
Street Scott and the mail order bride, 13)
the somewhat curious judging scenario,
14) Chantry's bizarre video set-up, 15) the
accurate number of Katen's ex-girlfriends
present, (some placed the total near twenty
three, but that possibly might be their
cummulative age), 16) the nature of Guer-
rero's never revealed ultimate street trick,
17) Lucero's two tone hair and 18) the
presence of Mr. Bennett in a tan Cadillac
stretch limo sequestered on the edge of
the event. All in all, it was splendid but
strange. Watch for more later.
Jeane Martinez of Venice powers backside through
degree transfo
MOTOR CRAFT DEPT.
Caught going 105 in a Dodge Colt on the
Grapevine Billy Ruff. The question as to
why was delicately administered by four
carloads of gun toting cops. The charge
was excessive speed. Ruff's answer was
brief and to the point, "I was only going 63"
Closed case.
MORE PRANKS DEPT.
Thousands of adhesive backed
skateboarding stickers mysteriously ap-
peared around Cannes France at the
recent film festival. Reportedly the interna-
tional film moguls were completely baffled
by such odd insignias as Indy crosses,
Tracker stars, Rat Bones, Cheese Balls,
G/S 50'50's, Lester splatts, Hosoi explo-
sions, Blender horses, S.M. Airplanes,
Galloping Pigs, Wiggley argyles and
Johnny Boy jastors. The strategic place-
ment of these stickers is thought to be in
some way connected to several of the films
being talked about at the festival which
somehow deal with skateboarding such as
"Skate or Die," "Le Hot Surf and "Once
upon a time back in the Future." If the films
could only be as authentic as the stic
kers, well then maybe.
CORPORATE CONSPIRACY DEPT.
At an undisclosed site close to Los
ON BOARD
types who give the sport/art a bad name.
right? Well here's the grimy tale of just how
the other half lives. At a posh party, re-
cently given by multiple world-title surfing
champion Shaun Tompson with most of
the top American surf types present, some
derelict decided to clean out all of the
women's purses. The perpetrator of this
lovely deed has not been apprehended yet
although insiders suspect it was the work
of a background model from a Calvin
Klein ad. It just goes to show that you must
choose your guests carefully, or at least
have actual skate security. Fortunately
one of the guests at the party gave the
surfing hero a top of the line street skate as
a present. Perhaps this will enable Shaun
to associate with a better class of people in
the future. Only kidding? Label this CRIME
IN SURF CITY Does anyone know the
whereabouts of the fast fingered DickVack
at the time of the crime?
Talking more mischief. Could that actu-
ally have been Brad 'don't call me disco"
Dorfman and Tracker Larry seen loading
bootleg blinking street barricadas into the
back of a Mercedes outside of a downtown
LOS art opening? The art affair featured
the works of several skate men including
such first generation types as Michael C.
McMillen, Jeffrey Vallance and Talldog
(The lad showed a bomb shelter complete
with machine gun, an office complete with
a water cooler and a run over dog complete
with the smell respectively.)
SHORT JABS
Off to Italy to fim the No. 1 show are
Tony Hawk and Lance Mountain Word
has it that the T.V. Italians will create a
ramp to the boy's specs in a studio for the
filming
Fashion arbiters relate that Jay Adam's
recent Quicksilver ad sets up the skate
legend as, "the new Bogart
Rouse Welinder are both up for a Euro-
pean film promo jaunt. More to come.
Official notice: Corey O'Brien's "new"
news. Mr. O' was recently denied posses
sion of the last original Duane model by
the Martian.
Angeles International Airport virtually all of job at Dor Weinerschnitzel is now old
the skate industries biggest powers
gathered, the reason?-to chart the course
of future skateboard competitions, as well
as promotion of the sport in general-the
outcome? Watch for a restructuring of pro
and amateur formats, new contest sites,
new judging procedures, increased media
participation, and a general promotional
regrouping
NEW POSITIONS DEPT.
Jim Goodrich is said to be leaving the
prestigious Gullwing organization to head
the staff of a certain slick mag. For those of
us with a short memory, Mr. Jim was in a
past life associated with the now defunct
Skateboarder and Action Now mags. Can
a Southern editorial change be in the
offing?
CHEAP SHOT DEPT.
We've all heard of those lawless skate
Supposedly a 100% done Mount
Trashmore-like ramp has been erected in
Des Moines, Iowa. No photo hence no
proof
Is Billy Beaureguard the latent disciple
of concrete zen aesthetics?
The much noted San Jose, California
ramp of Johnny FAB is rumored to be
reincarnated in a slightly different location
with new contours
Which top am was the first to romance
lovely Miss A. in the Upland Shadows?
Are the infamous Bosch Brothers
actually joining the U.S. Navy?
Steve Keenans' looking for a room-
mate. Any persons with the guts for this job
please contact this column.
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