with
Skarfing
Material
NOW SEA HERE!
I deliver you back to the ocean, the
sea, the vast body of water that covers
most of our planet. Like I've mentioned
in earlier passages of this column, sea
food is a very healthy source of food,
rich in vitamins, and very low in fat.
Here's a recipe that's an incarnation of
mine, but I'm sure it's been done before,
Are you ready for...
...SHARK TACOS?
Heh, me and a couple hosers" were out
chasing after some "New Wave" types in
this guy's four-wheel-drive last night, and
get this urge to make a meal right after we
comer a couple "day-glo's" on the library
steps. So's I go's to this all night grocery
store out by the Clift House, and picks me
up a few items,
Items That Got Picked Up
1 White onion
½ lb. squid
lb. shark steak
3 Brussel sprouts
1 Small zucchini
1 Dozen corn tortillas (torts)
1 Small red bell pepper
O.K. now, before you buy the onion, take
off all the real loose skin, 'cause you pay by
weight, and you're gonna throw the skin
away anyway, the same goes for when you
buy single vegetable items. Don't put 'em in
those plastic bags, you're only going to
throw it away too. Ya know, do you really
wanna know what I think? Well, I'm gonna
tell you anyway, me thinks, thats, those lit-
tle plastic bags, wit dem subliminal one-
color screens on dem, are brain condition-
ing tactics conducted by our beloved gov-
ernment. We's should thanks our precious
government for taking the kind considera-
tion of keeping our tender brains tamed, in
line and passive. Hey, ya know if the gov
emments wouldn't do that for us, who
would? Now let's change the topic, I'm get
ting emotionally excited, eh. We'll start all
over again...
SHARK TACOS (Take Two)
Hello,
I'm going to tell you how to make Shark
Tacos Take the above ingredients and
mimic as follows:
Clean the Squid-This is done by cut-
ting off, below the eye, the tentacles, then
removing all the guts, including the plastic-
like spinal jobber-deezer whatchamacallit-
thing, slice torso, lengthwise, in half. Rinse
off with water, voila!...
I
We've all heard of the four basic food
groups in grade school. Let's see, there's
Chef-Boy-Am-I-Hungry the breads and grain group, meats and fish,
milk and dairy products, and let's all re-
member the vegetable connection. O.K.
O.K.! So far, you may have figured out 1) I
like Dr. P. and 2) Real food is boring. Espe-
cially since this piece of paper among all
the other pieces of paper in Thrasher is
supposed to enlighten SKATERS, and
other fans, as to what is easy to eat, fix and
enjoy, oh, and nutritious too. Well I must
honestly say that what I'm going to touch
on isn't very nutritious, but I feel it can at
least boost your blood sugar to a level that
takes off where nutrition left off. Boy,
wouldn't the little kids today be cheated out
something special if they weren't allowed.
buy a pineapple Crush drink to comple-
ment their Chico-Stix. (If you've never seen
Chico-Stix go to any little league snack
shack and say make mine chico stix
please!)
Salba akarfing packaged pastries
Chop Veggies-This is done by getting
a knife, and chopping the veggies.
of
Heat up Torts-Take a tort or two, slap
it on to a hot stove, and flip it over with-to
now don't wimp out ya pussies-your fin-
gers. I've seen some guys do seven foot
airs, and not be able to flip a tortilla with
their fingers. Heh, ya don't rate till you can,
eh.
When I used to ride the County Transit
Dice the shark steak-This is done by buses, I would often take off for a day's
getting a knife, and dicing the shark steak skate-venture, only to find that I had $1.17
into one inch squares.
for food. This was a few years back (before
Answer the phone-This is done, most bottled cokes cost more than 50e) so I
properly, when it rings.
Construct tacos-Get your floppy, hot
tortilla, and slap a sliv of squid across the
center. Put a cube, or two, of shark steak in
there and fold in half, securing each end of
the tort with a toothpick, like a momma
does a diaper, ya know, eh? After you've
done this to all you can, and you've run out
of supplies, ya start stir-frying some of the
veggies namely brussels sprouts, zuc and
red bell pepper, in a lightly oiled skillet over
a medium flame. In a good sized, well oiled
frying pan, you plop about four taco-
dealies, and cook for about a good minute
and a half or two, eh.
After they're fried, ya take the stir fried
veggies and put a spoonful in each taco,
right after you take out the toothpicks, of
course. On top of that, place a healthy slice
of fresh tomato, a little fresh onion and
maybe a spoonful of ranch dressing. Mmm
hmm mehmmm.
Yah, eh. It wasn't no dream, ya know.
After my hoser friends dropped me off, I
made this cool meal, eh. And it was sooo
kill, eh. I rolled over and died. (This next
part is even weirder.)
Sure. Right. Here's this guy in a big
floppy hat with B. Am-I-Hungry embroi-
dered on, his cape, telling me not to eat
what I want. For myself, I've come to
realize the importance of self-decision
when choosing something to make the
hunger go away, and hey, if I decide I'm too
damn good for the traditional morning
orange juice, then I'll opt for a caramel col-
ored effervescent, by strict orders of my
physician-Dr. Pepper. Nothing unglues
those mucous sealed eyes in the morning
quite like a blast of caffeine from my Dr. I'm
sure that folks around the turn of the cen-
tury must have been flying off of the Coca
Cola with the extra special ingredient that
the movie "Scarface" is based on. But read-
ers, there's a vast horizon beyond sugar
water that fills the gap good eating just
won't match.
could rely on a Dr. Pepper and possibly an
ice cream sandwich to hold things over.
Now of course, when consuming these
foods, it's easy to over-do-it with a sugar-
rush overload. The worst drink to guzzle
has got to be awarded to Mountain Dew.
Combine this mysterious green fluid and a
hot day, and say welcome to massive indi-
gestion with a feeling in your gut similar to
that chap in the movie "Alien." Another area.
of good "bad eating" is chocolate. Add
peanut butter to this earthly pleasure, and
you've hit upon Reeses Peanut Butter Cup.
I'm the first to admit the quality of all-Amer-
ican candy has suffered irreparable dam-
age. Remember when Peter Paul, makers
of such snacks as Mounds, Almond Joy
and Mars bars, used wax chocolate? Boy
those were burly times. Getting back to
Reoses: Hershey, the folks who represent
chocolate in the U.S., has really deterior-
ated. Foreign brands-Lindt and Tob-
bior-offer the best product in the way of
chocolate.
Junk food is a broad, scarred section of
over-the-counter food that can be secured
at any local convenience stores. Walk in,
and usually perched close to your direct
line of sight, is the worst/best quick snack
The junk cake stand. Whether the brand be
Langendorf (makers of such yummies as
the famed Mickey Cakes and the always al-
luring Chocolate Pies with sugary paste
applied) or the big seller Hostess (who
have sprung to life Twinkies, Fruit Pies,
Donut Gems choc or sugar, Cup Cakes,
Ho-Hos, Ding Dongs, or their newest treat,
Chocodiles). They can only be purchased
singularly, so I guess they thought two in a
pack would be the "last supper in choco-
late skinned cakes with sugary foam core.
But for nutrition on the run throw good food
out of the window and energize junk food
style mahnil
OK I'm sorry. Here, have some Popto
Bismol, and get some rest.
-A. Friend
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