E
"YOU TAKE ONE MORE
PICTURE BOY, AND
PM TAKING YOUR
CAMERA." JJJJJr.
I'm crazy, I'm crazy, I'm crazy, I'm crazy.
I'm crazy, I'm crazy, I'm crazy, I'm
crazy....no I'm not! Wait-yes I am. Mom
always said I should've been a mortician"
but instead I accepted this job as a camera-
jockey-pseudo-writer-creep. Yeah, "big
deal, you think. Well, you try and do this
job. Just picture me writing this crap right
now. Check it: I'm lying on the couch,
haven't shaved in a week because I simply
have no inspiration, bacterial fungus has
infected all the toes on my left foot, and two
on my right foot, my bedroom is knee-deep
in crusty socks, soiled 501's and sweat-stiff
t-shirts, I just burned my Cup-of-Soup, the
paper boy just rang the doorbell and wants
his money (which I know nothing about)
and it's taken me this long to get around to
mentioning that this particular skate-
contest-jaunt landed me at the Phoenix air-
port, in the middle of summer in an Arizona
heaven and (you guessed it) that serious
sweating disease comes on again. It hap
pens every time it's hot or humid. 1 just can't
seem to figure it out. The other thing I
couldn't figure was, "why was there only
one freeway, and why was it on the other
side of town and running in the opposite di-
rection of which I was supposed to travel?"
Details and details, I could just go on for
days about seeing things like obylous.
white-man supremacy of the area and the
actual exploitation on the native Indian cul
ture in the architecture and the souvenir
shops (where the actual goods are grossly
over-priced and obviously produced in,
sweat shops locally, or in Taiwan),
All of this viewed from behind the win-
dows of a severely al-conditioned, box-
shaped, 1984 mode Hertz rental car, The
crossing of the proverbial "train tracks
brought one into another world. I'm talking
modern cardboard shacks under construc-
tion, with some hapless native standing in-
front of a structure, eyeing a place fora dis
carded campaign billboard to serve as part
of the front wall, above a slot that's proba
bly gonina be a window. All of that tragic op
pression type-stuff I could mention right
now and bring it out into the open, but I
won't because I don't have the time, the
space or the gumption.
Anyway, the way things went was your
basic pre-contest practice watching with
the old brain-pan sizzling things towards
the medium well-done thoughts:
ACTUAL GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION
I've never actually heard of Litchfield,
Park, Arizona, and I didn't even know
that was where was, until four weeks later
when I finally tried to sit down and wrife this.
THE HOUSE
Well, I'll tell ya, it was at Vince Bochinni's
parents' house, An oasis amongst a whole
bunch of leafy-type cactus plants super
dry-looking dirt with lots of big rocks in it.
Their backyard was exafio enough. A con-
venient swimming pool soon-to-be-
rendered-watering hole and well stocked
cactus garden, with a splotch of grass to
the left (or was it the right?)
THE RAMP
If you really must know, the ramps di
hensions are as follows:
Width: 24
Height: 10' (with a 2'x8' section out of
one wall).
Flat bottom: 20'
Transition: 8
Channel: 3
Vert 1 (approx).
PRE-CONTEST DETAILS
The juice of all matters is usually the
events leading up to the actual, maio
thing. For instance: T.S.O.L, were to play
the night before the contest; so the band
members were hanging out around the
ramp, mostly from the watering hole van-
tage point. The practice session was awe-
some (I can't believe I actually used that
stupid word. "Awesome-awesome-awe-
Could on a
BOONEY RAMP
EAGLE ROCK
"I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'S
THE WAY IT IS." JJJJ Sr.
OLA.X. Noon.. Rental unit 1 pulls out
of the Hertz Rent-a-car lot and starts the
slow, bumper-to-bumper sleaze trok
towards the freeway
The second to the last day of the
Olympics, heavy traffic, lots of Go USA!
bumper stickers on the freeway and the
soccer finals were to take place today at
some stadium near Pasadena. I don't care.
I hate crowds, organized sports, bumper
stickers, LA, traffic jams, pickled pigs
feet, black olives and black licorice.
The first time someone told me about
the Eagle Rock ramp I somehow got the
impression that the place was on a big cliff
overlooking the ocean. Wrong, the place
was on the left elbow of Los Angeles, just
a few miles from the major Olympic soccer
event in Pasadena, miles/hours from the
ocean, and blazing hot
The rental vehicle lasted about an
hour and a half before it had to be substi
tuted for a more durable model, ie.,
something that would do 'curb-lapover-
slamolas' without the tire going flat.
Demand quality.
THE RAMP
So I left my tape-measure at home, and
even if I'd brought it, it wouldn't have been
even half big enough to handle the job.
This S.O.B. is massive. Fifty-odd feet wide,
maybe twenty-something-or another feet
of flat bottom, X-amount of vertical with a
channel that's about 'yay-wide. Now let's.
see, did I leave anything out?
THE COMPETITION
There were quite a few people hanging
out when the pro-jam convened. This ramp
was perfect for the skaters to demonstrate
their extraordinary abilities. Christian
Hosol, Neil Blender, Al Losi, Eric Grisham,
Micke Alba, Caballero, Steve Steadham
and John Lucero had full command of the
situation when the jamming commenced.
Unfortunately, due to the stressful heat-
situation, I was forced the spend the earlier
part of the day squatting in a motel swim-
VISO
Christian Hosol gets fully bent out of shape during this high
"Tweak-air", on what could be, probably one of the hottest days
In the history of hot days, but then again, maybe not.
ming pool with the likes of the legendary
Skip Engblom and C.R. Stecyk Ill, musing
about wise old tales. The kind that come
from mountain tops and alleyways. This
schedule delay put me at the ramp right
after the sponsored ams competition. The
classic "late-again' situation. From the
info-scraps gathered, it was determined
that upcoming master vert-man, Eddie
Reategui, took the event with some
serious shredding, Eddie, a guy with an
extensive wave-riding background, has a
unique patience on the cutting edge of the
vertical lip.
Regardless, I missed it in all its explo-
siveness,
As for the pros, now that's an entirely
different matter. I was present for that jam.
Funny thing was, it was minutes into the
half hour jam, before I realized that the jam,
was underway. Then, right after I found
out, Caballero asked when it was gonna
start. So much for art explosive beginning.
Anyway, it took till about this point for the
skaters to actually get warmed up to a high
performance state of affairs,
Don't ask me where Billy Ruff was, and
why he wasn't here at the jam (Be-
cause...well....you didn't hear it from me,
but he was out buying a bright red Porsche
off Rocco's lot.) Hey, don't ask me, O.K.?
Getting deep into the action, a ferocious
riding pitch ascended to a pinnacle level.
The boys sure know how to shine when
they're showcased in a manner like this.
One half hour to drop in at any time they,
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