THE BEACH BOYS
Gag Me With Suburbanites,
Man
Wow, I mean like, it was so gross, man,
like, kill me with a station wagon, man, hit
me with a lawn chair...welcome to the
armpit of Northern California: The Concord
Pavilion. No real people go to Concord
Pavilion, just a bunch of Light Cowboys,
Light Bikers, Light Farmers, hangin' out
with their Michelob Light and their
Marlboro Lights, acting like lightweights. I
guess I should have expected them at a
Beach Boys concert, a white-bread revival.
A long time ago-1964-65-when the
Beach Boys were Big, the world was
divided into two groups: Beatles fans and
Beach Boys fans. I was primarily a Beatles
fan until I got my first paleolithic
skateboard; and even then the Beach
Boys weren't what you'd call a skate-type
band, not the way Jan & Dean were with
their parody of the Beach Boy classic
"Catch a Wave (And You're Sittin' on Top
of the World)" called "Sidewalk Surfin
(Bust yer buns, now, bust yer buns...).
But the Beach Boys were the ones who
exalted the California lifestyle: sun, fun,
surf, sand-in-your-hotdog-you-don't-what-
I-got. That's why it's so crowded around
here and why you can't even surf unless
you're a Local because the Locals will beat
you bloody and hammer your car. And
maybe that's why, on the streets of Beach
Town, California, skateboarding is The
Sport. And if you skate instead of surf you
don't have to deal with sharks, Locals, and
crud getting up your nose and making you
talk through your adenoids. But twenty
years ago, if you lived in California, you
listened to the Beach Boys and surfed, and
if you didn't surf, you rode a skateboard
and wondered how much like surfing it
really was: not very. skateboarding foday
is a lot more like surfing. Back then, the
only skateboards available were long thick
sticks equipped with clay wheels and
rollerskate trucks and the state-of-the-art
was slalom, downhill, and jumping over
low-slung clotheslines. And you had a
transistor radio in your shirt pocket with the
little ear-thingy rasping out "Surfin' USA." If
you were really crazed, you bought a
belly-board-a sort of miniature
surfboard-and nailed two skateboards
onto it and three or four people could
practically kill themselves trying to speed
down Baldwin Drive and hang a left on
Sierra Madre Boulevard. Those were the
days, luckily, and I'm still alive, and the
Beach Boys think they are too.
What is Life to the Beach Boys?
No one knows; they won't talk to
anyone, not even me, the most insistent
intrepid reporter ever to hurl foul language
at a backstage bodyguard. So, at this
point, my attitude toward them is "You
Suck." I did my best to inform them about
the Real World-K.T. even sent some
Thrashers to their manager in hopes that
reading them might pry their aging minds
into submitting to my interrogation. Like
maybe they would be intestered in what
has happened to Youth and skateboarding.
Somewhere along the chain of command,
THRASHER got hummed off bad and I
take it as a personal insult. I prefer to think
that they never got to see the Thrashers
that were sent, because if they did get to
see them and still refused to talk to me,
then they Bite the Big One.
But they are Stars, which is hard for me
to realize; I rank them in stature along with
Paul Revere and the Raiders when they
both appeared on the T.V. show "Where
the Action Is," broadcast from P.O.P.
(Pacific Ocean Park), their humble
beginnings. Small Time. And the craziest
thing is that they are just about the same
now as then; in fact, their vocals have even
improved. But they lose points for dragging
through slow shit like "Surfer Girl" and "In
My Room. They also lose points for
having the most tedious intro in the history
of Live Music, the crummiest between-tune
Local Jokes, and omitting some of their
most popular songs from the show so that
Carl Wilson could end the show by
screaming "Any requests?!!!" and, of
course, they didn't even have to listen
because they knew the requests would be
"Fun, Fun, Fun," "Barbara Ann," "Help Me,
Rhonda," and "Surfin' USA" They treated
the audience like chumps-but from what I
said about the audience, they were right on
the beam: strictly from suburban suburbia.
This crowd could not have been any
further removed from Reality than the
National Enquirer. For that matter, the
Beach Boys are pretty "far out" too: I mean,
they bill themselves as "America's
Greatest Rock 'n' Roll Band" when what
they mean is "We Think We're Something
Big
This band-as much as I liked them way
back when-is too boozsh for me and we'll
have hype, hype, hype till someone takes
the Beach Boys awaaaay. The only
member of the band that even surfed at all
is Dennis Wilson (the drummer, as I was
informed by a teenyrocker who dogged me
around through the whole show explaining
that her mother was in love with him) and
he had the crassness to announce in their
press release that "People use the Beach
Boys for what they think America should
be. The Beach Boys created a safe place
for people. Key word there is created-
past tense. They probably have their 15
gold records displayed next to a fookin'
American flag or something. They are
obviously into Geritol and THRASHER is
over their bushy, bushy heads. Now that
I'm preparing to wrap this article up, I am
almost wishing that I hadn't even gone to
the show. The Concord Pavilion is a
nightmare all by itself; toss in this
Oldie-but-Moldie Beach-o-rama hype and
I'll have bad dreams for a year and a half.
But I like had to go see them because of
what they were and because they may die
soon and then I'd never get to see them.
So when an old band comes to your town,
a band with some aging charisma hanging
around it like the sagging elastic on an old
pair of underwear, remember: They may
die soon and this might be your last chance
to see a Legend.
--Erika Whiteway
MLOR
N
PHOTOS: GLEN E. FRIEDMAN
MISSION: MINOR THREAT On tour
and traveling across the states from
Washington, D.C., Minor Threat have two
EPs and two songs on the Discord "Flex Your
Head" sampler behind them, not much com-
pared to your status glam rock stars, but the
power, excitement and attitude they put out
in their music exhibits the dedication that
Minor Threat represents. Inside the spacious-
club and after the long awaited meeting of
Minor Threat, we were privileged to a three-
song sound check which included two new
songs, one which was "Sob Story," played for
the first time since its creation
The songs were crisp, vigorous and lyrically
brilliant. The sound rifled through the club,
pumping the adrenalin, building up the antici-
pation for later that evening. This night had
been quite a wait for numerous Minor Threat
fans who, like us, had travelled far to see this
special occasion. WHY?
The members: Brian Baker, 17, bass, is to-
tally straight edge and a hectic skater. Jeff
Nelson, 20, drums, one half of Discord and all
around nice guy. Lyle pressler, 18, an all
around good humor man, and lan MacKaye,
20, vocals/lyrics, straight edge way of life,
one half of Discord, and quite the low rotation
skater.
Minor Threat formed in November of 1980
(lan and Jeff once being in D.C. prominent
hardcore band the Teen Idles), where the
D.C. crowds marvelled at their aggression
and approach which prompted them to re-
cord a clamorous eight-song, 7" EP on the
D.C. hardcore label "Discord Records"
(which is owned by lan and Jeff). It is a
superb performance of the band that delivers Clockwise: lan McKaye, Lyle Preslar, Jeff Nelson and Brian
their bold ambition and is now in its third pres-
sing. With Minor Threat acquiring an exulting
reputation in D.C. and across the states, they
released a second EP which has four songs
that musically, lyrically drove the foot to the
floor board that is Minor Threat's extreme
strength. Shortly after that, Lyle pressler
(guitarist extraordinaire) decided to go to col-
lege in the Midwest in September of 1981
which broke up the band. Since Minor
Threat's belief was it took all four original
members to make Minor Threat a combusti
ble unit, the band was at a standstill. Brian
Baker played guitar for Government Issue for
awhile, but Lyle returned in April 1981, and
the second birth of Minor Threat, an arous-
ing, excruciating, extensive outfit, more pow-
erful, stronger, and determined than ever be-
fore, resulted.
THREA
Most will associate Minor Threat with the
"straight edge,"(no drugs, smoke, or alcohol).
It is an important idea that should be consi-
dered by people as an alternative, not a
movement. A way of thinking, straight edge
represents an anti-obsession; controlling
things instead of things controlling you. Ben-
efiting and being responsible for your ac-
tions, and a total positive mental attitude
(PMA). Minor Threat's lyrics reflect this at-
titude and they feel that it shouldn't be
pushed down anyone's throat, it is a personal
choice.
The music/sound is quick, rapid, fast, in-
tense raw bursts of excelerated energy with
boisterous actions of exhilaration. Abrasive
jolts of outrageous arrangements detonate
tremendous assaults of multi-speed unre-
strained full frontal ferocity, seizing your blis-
tering brain in massive excitement. Minor
Threat packs it vigorously and sharp, musi-
cally. lan's crooning powerful voice throats
out the dignified manifestos enticing the cap-
tive listener to think and acknowledge.
Afterwards, a midnight skate session with
Minor Threat at a prime asphalt bank proved
rewarding and aggressive, quite the combi-
nation on this evening of evenings.
BY PUSHEAD