Weezer
Everyo
veryone likes Weezer.
No matter how tough you may look, and no matter
whether you're girl or boy, dog or cat, you've got a soft spot
for this modern day fab four.
You like that dumb sweater song
and the one about being in love
with a lesbian girl, too. You even
0000
ULTRA
Words and photos by Andy Harris
Journey). They used to wear those real short dolphin
shorts and go rollerskating up and down the block singing
"Open Arms" to all us little scratchers riding around on
bikes popping boners. Weezer has had a similar effect with
the young, nubile girls of today, except now they seem to
prefer riding around on those goofy Razor scooters sport-
You Like ThaT DUMB Sweater Song and The
one about Being in Love with a Lesbian GiRL
ing lip rings and lower back tattoos. The big problem with
this though is that the Weezer ain't put out no albums in
like five years or something and the cuties are starting to
get restless with the same old songs. BUT WAIT! All of a
sudden the boys are back in town, playing shows with a
bunch of sappy new songs and now they're recording a
new record-hooray for the teenage heart-throbs!! Long
live the Weezer!! Down with the Razor scooter!! Here's to
lower back tattoos and lip rings!! (On cuties, of course.)
like that surfing song from the
first album-the one that goes
"You take your car to work, I'll
take my board..." Truth is, the
Weezer is sort of like a phenom-
enon, not unlike The Beatles in
the sixties and Journey in the early eighties. I can still
remember the foxy teenager girls living next to me in like
'83 who were all ga-ga over Steve Perry (lead singer of
Rivers Cuomo
128 THRASH
NOT WeezeR
CARVIN
Pearl
So anyway, I failed to score an interview with the almighty Weezer
frontman Rivers Cuomo, so here's an interview with a Weezer cover band
who played at my next door neighbor's house and another interview
with a wacky Weezer groupie from Europe or something.
SKEEZER INTERVIEW
So do you get girls from doing this gig You're just saying that because you're
around town?
Dave Skeezer: Yeah.
All Kinds?
Eastern European.
It's an educated guess.
We don't discriminate. We get male "You Mean Like
groupies too.
When does a groupie cross the threshold
between being too young and just right?
You mean like if there's grass play ball?
Yeah, I guess, like "If there's hair
I'm there."
Brian Skeezer, directed to Dave: Was that
one girl of age? You know, the 6-months-
ago girl?
Dave, you were going out with a six month
old girl?
Jesus Christ man!
IF There's
GRASS PLAY
BALL?"
Chelsea Clinton seems like a probable
Weezer fan. Do you think she would be
into Skeezer?
She's got to be the biggest Skeezer fan ever.
She's tops.
Hey, I gotta ask these kinds of things... you Has anybody ever told you that you all
understand, right?
Yeah, yeah.
How fanatical of a Weezer fan would you
say you are?
On a scale of one to ten? Oh, I'd say I'm
a ten. I'm in the front row screaming my
head off.
What kind of name is Rivers Cuomo?
Eastern European I think.
seem more like dudes from San Diego
than from LA?
Man, all the time. Why is that?
(At this point some hessian bartender lady
busts into the room, offers us all joints, and
starts babbling about needing to drop off a
swamp cooler somewhere. I had no idea what
she was talking about, but we took the joints
and the interview was over.)
After being pushed away from the afore-
mentioned Rivers outside of the Troubador in
West LA, I ran into Ingrid, an eighteenish Czech
girl who seemed to be kissing a little piece of
plastic cradled in her hand.
It's a little Buddha figure that was taped on the head
of Rivers' guitar. I didn't steal it though. All I wanted
was a guitar pick, but the roadie gave me Rivers'
"good luck charm" instead. I'm gonna keep it with me
all the time, so if we ever run into each other he can
have it back.
My friend told me that it's your 18th birth-
day and that you came all the way from the
Czech Republic to see Weezer in LA. Any
truth to this?
Yeah, it was a long flight, and it's much different in
LA than in Prague. My brother Tom said he'd come with
me to the show he's in NYC so I took a flight from
Prague to NYC to LA. To some it is extreme, but it's my
birthday and it's in my character to be... How do you
say? Impulsive, I guess.
If this were the 1960s, what band would
Weezer be?
It's hard for me to say; I'm not too familiar with early
American music, but I suppose they would be The
Beach Boys.
How 'bout if it were the '70s?
I want to say Jackson Five-it makes sense to me.
I could see Rivers doing "I Want You Back".
Do you think Rivers' lyrics are straight from
the heart, or is he just another schmoe out to
make a quick buck?
I think more straight from the heart because other-
wise it wouldn't have taken sooo long between
Pinkerton and the album due to be out this March.
Weezer could have pumped out one record after
another to make a buck, but they didn't.
Ingrid, do you ride a Razor scooter?
In my country we don't have Razor scooters.
INGRID