If you get any one-on-one time with Ozzy,
what are you going to talk about?
I don't know. What should I say? I don't
have the right to ask him anything. He's
Ozzy Motherfuckin' Osbourne!
What's a good way to meet girls?
Tell them that you're Bam's friend and he's
on Jackass on MTV.
What do girls at Huntington parties like to
talk about?
Nothing. They're horrendous. I can't be
bothered because I'm too busy trying to chase
down Heinekens. They try to make fun of our
accents but they can't really imitate them at all,
so they just keep saying, "Finland! Finland!"
That's all they would say. All night long.
That was their attempt at a Finnish accent?
Yeah. It was great.
If you want to get to legend status in skate-
boarding, now would be a good time to
dissappear, you know?
What?
Start wearing all black or move away from
California and weird out for a while.
I already did that. I just decided five
minutes ago. I quit, I'm outta here.
Have you heard of Morrissey?
Morrissey. Like Jim Morrisey?
No, that's Jim Morrison. Morrissey. He
sings very sad music. Of The Smiths?
Fuck no. Who's that guy? Geoff might like
him. Geoff likes all kinds of lame shit. Like
The Get Up Fags.
How old are you?
Nineteen.
So Thrasher is 20 years old. People have
been hard at work on Thrasher since
before you were born.
That's scary.
Did you know that Thrasher used to have a
cooking section?
I think I've seen that, but I'm not sure. Like
"I QUIT"
recipes for food?
Yeah. Skate recipes.
Did Phelps cook 'em?
No. It was Chef Boy-Am-I-Hungry. Kids
would send in their own recipes.
For good things?
Well, yeah. But there were also a lot of
purposely vulgar dishes.
I try not to think about that.
Do you prepare any skate food at home?
No, just soy milk and cereal-and
Heineken.
Will you get a signature shoe soon?
What do you mean?
Are you going to get a shoe?
Yeah. Next year.
What will it look like?
Shit.
Like a turd?
Yeah, like a fuckin' turd. It will be a slip-
on with two velcro straps, and it will
come with a smell already. It's already a
pile of shit, so nobody can return it and
say that it's a shitty shoe. It'll help loads
with returns. And the laces are gonna be
metal. It'll be the unbreakable skate shoe.
And it will have ice skates on the bottom.
Where do you want to be when Thrasher
turns 30?
I'll probably be right here with you
working on the 30th anniversary issue.
I'll have to come up with a trick or else
Phelps will call me up and say, "Arto, we
need some fuckin' photos!" Fuckin'
Thrasher. I don't feel like talking. I'm sick.
-Michael Burnett
Determined...
..and focused.
O
Nollie backside lipslide.