"Keep the drooling to a minimum or the
security guards will have a trail to follow
the socks off your ass. It might even knock them right up your ass it's so
good. Try to stay away on weekend afternoons though, or you'll be
knocking yourself on your own ass trying to avoid all the grommets and
mutant in-liners. Evenings and weekdays are the best for most of the
area's skateparks.
If you prefer street skating to park skating you can always try going
downtown to roll around. Downtown is situated centrally on the lake
and provides easy access to the whole city via subways, streetcars, and
buses. Just try to keep the drooling to a minimum, or the security guards
will have a trail to follow. You see, Toronto's downtown core has some of
the best street skating on the planet-it has everything, and as a result
has been used and abused like a hooker come Monday morning. And as
such, I wouldn't go near either-especially the hooker. But that's just me.
I've done my share of using and abusing downtown Toronto anyway,
Clockwise from top: Jason Maxwell rode along a skinny ledge before
floating a kickflipper over a stair gap. Most make a gnarly face and suck
up into a ball when they clear this bar, but Neal Pollock's natural snaps
don't require such antics. Alex Rothbauer makes frequent trips to the city
to shred the metropolitan terrain. Bluntslide at a Toronto-area school.
104 THRASHER
hookers not included. But for those who can't resist (the downtown c
that is) it's best to hit it up late at night during weekends. If not,
hunter (you) will become the hunted. You see, Toronto's security so
downtown is extremely tight, and it's not uncommon for those cr
fuckers to think of ways to ambush you, so keep your head up. It all le
a certain air of fun and mystique to the game, though, because th
spots are worth it. It's all about how stealth you can make your sessio
Some other notable spots include Bickford (a school with an ass
ment of ledges), Skydome (which has just about everything), St. Geo
Street (ledges and handrails), and U of T (handrails)-but just ab
anything in between is a spot in itself. And don't forget the suburb
they are teeming with untouched, virgin terrain. And by the way, br
your sledgehammer if you go downtown, because you might need
smash some skateproofing off some marble ledges. Bring so
chisels too.
The city of Toronto is no stranger to the pro circuit. Many a team
ventured through this relatively unknown skate mecca. Girl, Os
Duffs, Blind, Darkstar, Alien Workshop, ATM, and City Stars have
seen firsthand what "T Dot" has to offer over the past year or
Actually, you've probably seen footage of Toronto's spots in videos
never even realized it. All I can say is just wait until you visit.
KUNDRA
Now Open
Banist
Now that I've covered some of the essentials it's quiz time.
Answer these next "True or False" questions. Ready, buttholes?
1. Toronto is in Canada. T or F
2. You are a butthole. T or F
3. There is no such skateboarder named "Mike McMuck." T or F
4. Winter sucks. T or F
5. Quizzes suck, and under no circumstances should you ever
be subjected to another one while reading a skate mag. T or F
If you answered "True" to all of them, you are a quick learner
and should come visit Toronto because you'd probably learn a lot
of tricks here. If you missed even one, you lose entirely but you
should still come to visit and try to learn new tricks.
But you know what? I'm sick of talking about all that Toronto
has to offer. To heed my last "True or False" question, you
shouldn't be subjected to quizzes. You might even be subjected to
one right now as you sit squeamishly in your seat during a high
school math class. Why should I quiz you more as you read this
magazine between the flaps of Geometry 101? Maybe you're not
in school right now, but what does it matter? What matters is that
even though I get paid to sit in this stuffy room and teach you
bungholes serious facts in an all too serious world, I have to
realize that it is all in vain. There's no better way to learn than by
experience. Wouldn't it be much easier if I just said, "Go visit," or
"Go and live," or just "go"? Instead you make me do my home-
work and waddle my fat ass into this classroom prepared with all
these facts and figures. Well, I guess young people need some
guidance these days, but enough is enough. Class dismissed! Go
skateboarding! Go to Toronto!
105