JUNK DRAWER
featuring Polonious Reap W
hen Polonious began dropping
knowledge on the masses, we figured
there would be a fan base, some websites, maybe a groupie or two. But, c'mon, an
actual cult following?! This is getting out of hand. People, listen to the P-man's
words but do not regard him as an otherworldly deity. It's simply not true. Or is it?
SOLE SURVIVOR
Danny Way DC and Josh Kasper Osiris shoes
Catheter
catastrophe
Clean bill
of health
Naughty
nurse
Lil' P and I have been doing a lot of hedge-diving recently. You know, when you jump into your neighbor's
bushes and let the branches break your fall. I was starting to push the envelope, leaping from porches and rail-
ings, so these shoes designed for jumping out of helicopters and down huge staircases came at just the right
time. Unfortunately, they inspired me to get a little too aggro on a deceptively sparse fern, so they're gonna
have to double as chillin' shoes until I get out of traction.
FLOG THE DOLPHIN
Ecco The Dolphin (Dreamcast)
NOTHING SPECIAL
Airwalk socks
As the hospital staff treated my shrubbery-induced wounds, they found a
bunch of other things wrong with me. On top of botulism and a brain atrophy,
apparently my feet are the source of a series of never-before-seen medical
ailments. Seasoned doctors were gagging and a nurse passed out.
Since I've been laid up in the hospital after
the incident I've had plenty of time to explore this
hippie-ass video
game. You play a
ecco dolphin who swims
THE DOLPHIN around helping other
DEFENDERERITIMSTOREY
underwater animals
and avoiding sharks.
It was pretty confus-
ing and boring until
E
the nurse accidently
doubled my mor-
phine drip; since then I've been lost in this psy-
chedelic underwater world and I don't want to
come up for air.
Accel Wheels
0
Personally, I always thought the colors were pretty. Well, they have
no idea how to even start treatment other than just getting clean
socks. This pair are like every other pair of socks in the world
except they have an "A" on them.
NO MORE BO
Alien Workshop video
A few days before my foliage foul-up, I landed a boneless to axle-
stall on this big ledge. I was so stoked I decided to check out this
hardcore street-skating video to see if they had any tricks even
remotely comparable. Um, let's just say they do. People wonder in
which way skating will progress next. Well, these dudes are calling the
shots. Many of the ledge tricks they bust have been done before,
except now the slides and grinds are held ridiculously long, in addi-
tion to being flipped into and out of. Every rider rips, but those deserving special mention are
Tim O'Connor, Kerry Getz, Killa Kalis, and, most notably, Brian Wenning. Keep an eye on
the East. Also, my condolences go out to Love Park, which gets incinerated.
YO! I AIN'T MILKTOAST!
Nothing to do but reminisce when you're doped-up and bed-ridden. I remember one time when we was little,
Lil' P and I were in Gemco checking out the Variflexes and Nash boards in the toy department. We were clown-
ing the pink mini-rails and wack graphics when Li'l P realized the wheels came with NMB's. The bearings on
the old Sims we used to share were rusted so he tried to gaffle them, but he got caught and wasn't ever allowed
back in the store. These Accel wheels may look a lot like that same cheap, milky urethane they used back in the
day on those crappy boards, but the ride is smooth and the graphics are clean. Plus I'm down with Mike V.'s
fighting attitude. I bet he wouldn't let no busta-ass Gemco employee mess with him...
ACCEL
FIFTY
ONE
What if cigarette ads told the truth?
www.thetruth.com
Ⓒtrath
FORGET ALL THE HEALTH RISKS. If The
Beautiful People Do It, It Must Be Okay!
1.2 mg of "Hey, I'm addicted!" 200 mg of "I'm cool, right?" and 2000 mg
of "I'm livin' dangerously so I must be sexy."