when I was 9 to about 12 I was a
real asshole.
What was the worst thing you
ever did as a kid that you got
caught for?
Probably doing drugs at school
and getting expelled.
Drugs? What'd you do?
I smoked pot at school.
At school? You had to take the
edge off right then and there?
Yeah. I was pretty stressed out.
What was the worst thing
you did that you never got
caught for?
I broke into school once, into the
science room, when I was in third
grade. And I just stole a bunch of
stuff with my friends.
Like the science instruments
and stuff?
No, my teacher had a chest full of
prizes. They were for if you did well
in school, like got good grades on
tests. You'd get points and get the
prizes. We broke the window with a
rock and pretty much just took
everything in the box. It was all
just stupid science toys and stuff,
like Aerobees.
That'll rob a teacher of the
joy of teaching.
I remember when we went
back to school on Monday,
she was so bummed. She
told us about it.
But you never 'fessed up?
I never 'fessed up.
If you were on the
Titanic and there was
only room in the
lifeboat for DJ Peril or
DJ Mike Czech, but not
both, who would you
take with you?
Oh no.
The Titanic's going down,
and you have to pick. Who
would it be?
I'd just take off by myself!
Have you ever had jungle fever?
No.
No?
Well, define jungle fever.
You know, jungle fever.
No, I don't think so. I've kissed
white girls. Does that count?
Hell yeah. Do you date much?
No. Never. I'm not very social.
I know. But do you have
lady friends?
Yeah. I have lady friends, but I
don't take them on dates.
Are Coyne's descriptions of the
kind of girls who are attracted
to you fair and accurate?
How did he describe them?
He said they had chubby titties.
He meant to say that those are the
kind of girls I like.
Do you normally date outside
of your ethnic group?
Yes.
All white girls?
That's how it's been.
What's the worst you've ever
injured another person?
I broke someone's heart. That's
the worst I ever hurt anyone.
That's so sad. Which of your
school's organized activities
did you attend?
I went to a few dances. I wasn't
that into it.
What was the first CD you
bought for yourself?
It would have to be Def Leppard
or AC/DC.
What was the first rock
concert you went to?
Pantera.
What was the Pantera
show like?
It was great! High
energy. Very intense.
Sepultura was there too.
Did you party in the
parking lot?
No. I didn't really get
the whole experience.
How old were you?
I was 12.
Man, your parents
are nuts!
They didn't know I went.
I told them I was staying at
Billy's house and then I went
to the concert!
Where's Billy now?
He's still rocking out. He's working
at a music store these days.
How did you imagine high
school would be when you
were in elementary school?
I thought it would be great.
I always thought it would be
50 percent cheap feels and 50
percent swirlies.
I always thought I'd get
picked on by the older kids.
That never happened.
Has a girl ever made you cry?
Yes.
Did you cry in front of her?
Yes.
Never do that!
I know.
78 THRASHER
Above: Last month's Anatomy illustrated the inherent risks of Jerry's
barging backside 50-50.
Below: Jerry whips around 180° out of a scraping
nose drive so that he might stare down
the obstacle menacingly on the
triumphant roll-away.
79