NVER
backwards and have to plant a hand. Needless to say, there is no
way in hell many Americans could squat, even momentarily. Dave
pointed out that squatting while doing your business is more natu-
ral, as it better mimics outdoor bowel movement. This is a good
point, but it also marks a good time to cease this line of discussion.
I can't speak a lick of Japanese. In fact, if it were not for the
Styx hit, "Mr Roboto," I wouldn't have been able to utter a single
word. Dave has taken Japanese and could say a few things, but
other than that, there was I lot of smiling and good-natured pan-
tomiming. The Japanese language has thousands of characters
and supposedly takes a good ten to twenty years to master. Some
modern Japanese words are bastardized English words, but that
doesn't mean you'll understand any of them. They call
McDonald's "Macadonaldodo" or something like that. See what I
mean? I have a lot of respect for people who take the time to
learn a foreign language. I'm also a very lazy man. Thus, I stuck
to nodding and smiling.
I'm afraid I took advantage of the language gap by engaging in
some gratuitous swearing in several public places. I don't know, I
just got a kick out of cussing in restaurants and convenience stores.
knowing that no one would know what I was saying. Simple things
please simple minds, I guess.
At one point, we were in a coastal town that housed a US
naval base. This was the only time during the trip when I felt
especially self conscious about being American. There were
some weary gazes when we were in Tokyo and Osaka, but I
knew that here, near the base, there was a heavy precedent of
American assholishness. This suspicion was reinforced by the
parade of lunkheads and cowboy-hat-wearing fighting men
"I just got a mel out of
of disomg
Ostaurants and Convenience
stores knowing that no one would know what I was saying"
Clockwise from left: The delinquent children
of American expatriates showed us all these
spots, including this steep eight-stair for Kanten
to flash and roll. They drank beer out of vending
machines, got in fights on the trains, and were
generally badass. Daisuke Mochizuki has the
moves of a professional skateboarder but the
haircut of an amateur rollerblader. After getting
snowed out the day before, Dave Mayhew gave
the crew at Red Hat skatepark something to
cheer about with a switch kickflip Cab.
marching around the seedy bar area. Not that all people in the
armed forces are rude and obnoxious, but, well, you know what
I'm saying. I kept the unnecessary swearing to a minimum.
I don't know what it is, but every time I meet skaters in other
countries, it seems like there is a lot of bragging. Everybody
wants to be liked, but is it just Americans who get weirded out
by introductions that include the person's sponsors and recent
contest rankings?
"This is Bill, he is number four skater in all of Japan!"
They do it all over Europe, too. Throughout the entire trip I was
referred to as "Thrasher photographer." Maybe it's not so weird.
Maybe it's just me. From now on I am going to start introducing
myself as Michael Burnett, Number One Southern Californian
74 THRASHER
OSI
OSIRIS
OSIR
THE TE
THE ST
C3
SIONS
WHEEL
SHANE B
chocolate
CONVERSE CONVERSE
és
ΔΕ
E
acrue
PRO SERIER
C
STRIS
RIS
70
TRENGTH
STRENGTH