SKATE
we're not sure
PRODUCTS WE'D
2.v
LIKE TO SEE
Wax trucks
Grinds anything! You can finally skate those corrugated asphalt ledges that you've been eyeing for years.
3. "Zip-it" skate sear
4.
Inspired by multiple late-night viewings of Michael Jackson's "Bad" video, Tommy Hilfiger enters the skate
clothing arena with zip-off pant legs, sleeves, and turtlenecks. Other innovations include caps that turn into
visors, drawstring socks, and designer lace-tip savers.
1. "Real World" Auto.cam.
A self-mounted camera attached to a boom so
you can film yourself at all times. Never again will
you have to subject others to filming the endless
set-up trick bails of your 13-trick über-line.
B-Board
5.
A skateboard that converts into a turntable, headphones plug into the trucks, wheels become fader knobs.
Satva and Muska join forces to take skating to the forefront of turntablism technology.
Grindorola pager-trucks
A truck with beeper mounted in the axle. Now you don't have to quit crooked grinding to pinpoint exactly where
6.
your dogs are at. "Yo, he keeps hitting up my 5-0 with a 911. Where's my celly?"
Beer-foot sneakers
Shoes with 40 oz. stash pocket in the tongue. "Naw, Mom, I keep my SoBe in there."
Sack-proof groin air bag
Taking all the fun out of skate video slam sections, this product inflates seconds before impact so you don't tarnish the
family jewels. You'd be nuts to try that 16-stair without it.
8. "Warped Wench," the inflatable skate groupie se blowing up his late doll
9.
with Poot! gear, a new wave haircut, bad tattoos, and skate shoes.
Shell collector kit
A deck with a chalkboard bottom and a piece of chalk in the baseplate to write down poetry and free verse whenever
the muse strikes. The super-deluxe version comes complete with a biodegradable tam, bongos, and a 16-millimeter
film camera.
10. Skater/video goon placement service
"We match you with the overweight, washed-up video goon of your choice. Each goon has his own car, parent's
credit card, newest video camera, and an inability to skate. Skater provides goon with one pair of shoes and
sweatshirt for every six months of indentured video servitude. Why not get yourself a backup goon today?"
11. Mega fish-eye
Video camera lens as big as a trash can lid. Turns curbs into Hubba instantly!