BAD IDEA
Spoonfish skateboard lock
Ha
JUNK Drawer
featuring Polonious Reap
ARDLY one who can swing from the nuts of some relative's
dot.com millions, Polonious will take any free stuff he
can get. He was "special" enough to get free lunches at
school, so he's more than qualified to rate our product flow.
You don't lock your board. You ride it,
carry it with you, or if you have to, stash it
under a dumpster when Quiet Riot hits the
stage at the county fair. If you're stupid
enough to need this product, you should
have a few more wheels and they should be
attached directly to your shoes, not a board.
The frat boy in the picture must have taken a
few too many hits from his beer bong when
he came up with this one. Spoonfish? Stick to longboarding, kook.
Gumbo
FLICKS
I dunno. There's some sick shit in here but
the bar has been raised quite considerably this
past year in terms of what
makes a good video. This one
doesn't quite clear the hurdle.
GUMBO Happy hick Daniel Haney does
Midopoly
deserve a set of Ozzy horns
raised high though.
A Minnesota video? I figured these Midwest kids
would have as much access to good spots as I do-
the SuperMart curb (when
nobody parks there). Actually,
these guys must be pretty
hungry 'cause they go all out.
MIDOPOLY
Standouts Chad Benson and
Clint Peterson don't put in no four-tricks-and-I'm-out
parts like many videos of late. Apparently tech
doggery ain't limited to the Left Coast.
The People vs. Porn Star
PEOPLE
Porn Star
Zombie
PLAY ON
Revenge
(Dreamcast)
Living dead,
blood, guts,
and machine
guns. Murder,
murder, murder,
kill, kill, kill. I'm
there, dude.
I had my finger on the fast forward button, some Vaseline,
and even some toilet paper so I wouldn't ruin the couch. I
was ready for this video. Unfortunately, it
didn't live up to expectations. There was
more moto-cross than titties, and the only
skating worth mentioning was when they
skate and destroy a suburban house and
Dylan Gardner's flip-grind wizardry. Who
woulda thought a company named Porn
Star would have a soft-core video?
= Roach
= Joint
=QP of the chronic
POOR PLANKS
ATE skateboards
The T-shirts, well,
they're T-shirts. The
skateboards, well,
it's not exactly clear
what they are. Any
self-respecting trog
rides a big board but
these are ridiculous.
I tried to count how
AXE
many micro-plys were in these decks but went
cross-eyed before I could finish. I huffed some
Lysol and got 'em straightened out though.
Ten plys and a coat of epoxy make these
boards a perfect joint-rolling tray.
POLE JAM
ARC grind bar
I'd rather session
the bar on 24th
and Folsom, but
for the kids in the
'burbs this makes a
nice introduction
into the world of nut-racks
and double-kinks.
BUY YOUR FRIENDS
Insta-Skater from Insta-Friend Industries
The people at Insta-Friend Industries
first made a name for themselves in the
custom companion market with Insta-
Homie, a gangsta stand-in for suckas
with no posse. Now they're looking to
expand into the skateboard market with
the Insta-Skater. This product is perfect
for kids trapped in their cul-de-sac with
nobody to rip with. It always looks cool
in its three alternate outfits, it never
snakes, it talks shit about your teachers
and parents, it can teach you how to
kickflip, it'll never one-up you
in a session, and it'll even help
you fight off bully jocks. Look for
your new best friend at K-Mart, Sears,
and Walgreens.
REE
STRICHNINE
LIFE IS SHORT. LIVE IT.
CURTIS HSIANC
12/4/63 1/8/00
42 THRASHER
SPITFIRE WHEELS